Blokes Who Have Thai Partners Back At Home

My wife and I run an event every couple of years whereby we invite a large portion of the Thai community over to our home to celebrate the New Year, who in turn receive merit from the local Buddhist monks whom we also invite to our house. It’s our way of giving back to the local Thai community; many of whom have become genuine friends over the 17 years we have been living here, and I love them all dearly.

However, because of previous encounters with blokes married to Thais; you know the ones, the sort of blokes whom you would not normally associate with; well we have a standing order in our house and that is: unless I know you personally, and you have explicitly been invited along, then guess what, you ain’t invited… and yet… every year we have to deal with some random blokes who for some odd reason seem to think that it’s OK (because they have a Thai partner), to just rock up, invite themselves into the house, congregate in a huddle someplace like some odd bloke at the back of the bus, letching at the women, talking shit for several hours, eating our food, drinking all of our alcohol and then pissing off again.

No, just no!

So there we were this weekend, we had about 40 or so Thai women whom we invited to come along, the 3 monks, their driver, and what seemed to be the obligatory random blokes that invited themselves in. I have no idea who they were and who brought them along. Still, it turned out that one of them was a husband to a Thai woman I didn’t know and the other was some random “new boyfriend” that was picked up a few weeks earlier in the local pub by some enterprising Thai woman (again, one of the new Thai faces I didn’t know).

Anyway, because the Monks were in da house, and I didn’t want to get confrontational about it because the event was for the benefit of the Thai women, so I quietly skulked away to my office seething about it but didn’t say anything. However as soon as the Monks had finished, had eaten their food, and left the house, I was back down the stairs asking politely but quite sternly of these two random blokes about who they were and who they had come with. They both randomly pointed in the general direction of where all the Thai women were sitting.

I think what irked me the most was that they had come into my house, and didn’t even make an effort to introduce themselves to me (not that I wanted to have a chat with them but still…) Instead, they just hung around like a couple of loose ends getting in everyone’s way. The irony is, the Thai ladies couldn’t give a hoot either as they were too busy having a great time and were ignoring them as well!

It does baffle me why blokes put themselves into this position. I mean what’s in it for them being there? Anyway, I decided to help out. I told them that now the Monks had gone, they too could leave now as well. No ifs, no buts, no discussion about it, just “Please can you leave.”

I think they were a bit shocked by my “instruction” but I didn’t care. It’s my house, you are an uninvited random bloke whom I don’t know, so be gone, get out of here.  I am pretty sure my request went down like a Thai hooker who later found out her latest beau had mai me tang as they dragged their respective Thai partners out the front door no less than 5 minutes later.

My wife informed me that she did get a call from the wife demanding to know why I kicked her husband out of my house, and in some ways, I do feel a little guilty towards my wife because she has to live with the consequences of my actions, but hey I wasn’t the one imposing myself on to others so the guilt lasted, oh, I dunno, all of 3 minutes.

So there you have it, fellas, if you have a Thai partner who gets invited to a party, don’t be that bloke who invites himself in to sit at the back of the bus. It’s weird, you weirdo!

The author of this article cannot be contacted.