Moving With The Times

There’s possibly no greater feeling than entering the cool confines of a Thai bar with your mates, feeling the music pulse and feasting on the dozens of scantily clad maidens.

However, over the years, the excitement dims and if you find yourself alone, sometimes the hassle of going to the bars feels more than it’s worth.

Sometimes a man just wants to get laid.

I found myself in this situation, wanting a woman for the night, but having no interest in buying endless rounds of ladies drinks, going from bar to bar in search of the “one”, arguing with mama-sans, paying above the odds for 45 minutes and constant glances at her watch.

There must be a better way.

Then I remembered some old Stick columns, in which he banged on about a website called “Smooci”. I’ll give it a go.

Logging on, there were quite a number of ladies who would do the job. I paid the $10 three day fee, got access to a lot of Line and WhatsApp connections, chose one special face, sent her a message, and waited.

And waited. After an hour I realized there would be no response, so I picked my second choice.

No response.

3^rd choice. “Sorry, not available”.

4^th choice. No response.

5^th choice. “How much you pay me?”

Now that was an interesting response as her price was clearly stated.

“2000 baht,” I responded.

“Sorry, I’m sick.”

“How about 2500 baht and two Panadol?”

“Sorry. Sick.”

6^th choice. “Busy now, contact me in 3 weeks.”

7^th choice. No response.

8^th choice. “OK. I’ll come”.

She came. Wasn’t my type at all, but we had a nice time and she was quite accommodating.

A few days later, I decided to try again, but this time using a different website: Thai Friendly.

While Smooci is all girls available for hire, Thai Friendly is a dating site where many girls are looking for serious relationships. After setting up a free account, I began my search, and eventually sorted the ladies into several categories.

• The serious relationships. These ladies make it clear they are looking for a serious relationship, and not “ONS” or “FWB”. Many of them say “Do not send me pictures of your thingey”.

Note to readers: we guys like to see pictures of women’s nay nays. Women do NOT like to see pictures of ours. You do not win points by sending pics of your equipment. Do not do this.

Very often, these women also post things like “I have 2 children and am looking for a man to take care of me and my kids”.

Now I wouldn’t say that I’m a marketing expert, but I don’t think this is the best way to attract a guy. Maybe say “I love to cook and clean and know how to take care of a man. If you take care of me and my children I will make you the happiest man alive.”

BTW, many of the women also post something like “I am 100% woman”. I guess there are a lot of requests and questions about whether they are trannies.

• These ladies say nothing. Nothing. They post a picture and that’s it. What are you supposed to do with this?
• The coy ones. These ladies indicate that they might, might be interested in fun, but are unclear. It’s a guessing game. Sometimes you win, sometimes not. One girl wrote that she was “sapiosexual” and I wrote back inviting her to my place for “sapiosexual times” and she responded huffingly that she wasn’t anyone’s plaything. However, another time I wrote to a lady whose intentions I wasn’t sure of, asking if she liked to come over to my place for a massage and she responded “I don’t do massage. I do sex. Is that ok?”
• The uncontactable ones. These state upfront that they’re available, sometimes saying “I’m a freelance”, sometimes being less specific but clear nonetheless. However this group fails to put their contact (Line or WhatsApp) and you have to use Thai Friendly’s messaging service. This is fine but there’s a block so that unless you pay extra you can only send a message every 10 minutes. So you send a message inviting the girl, she responds, and you have to wait 10 minutes before responding back. This can become quite tedious.

However I did have some luck with this group, and after patiently texting back and forth usually was able to get their Line, which made communication easier. One of the ladies I met this way I still see regularly.

• The clear ones with numbers. This is the gold mine. These ladies make it clear they’re available, post multiple pictures, and give their contact details. I’ve had much success with this group, even finding a gorgeous masseuse who comes over to my place for a great hour massage, some fun, and then we go to dinner. Been seeing her for over a year now.

Back to Smooci for a second. The girl who claimed to be sick I reached out to a few weeks later and got the same response. The lady who said she was busy and contact her again in 3 weeks told me the same for about three months, then one day said “where did you get my number from?” and when I responded “Smooci” she said “I don’t do that.” Another lady who I saw on Smooci but never contacted I later saw on Thai Friendly for half the price.

Bottom line. I’ve now met a dozen or so ladies via Thai Friendly and have to say that I love the system. The girls are all freelancers, that is, they don’t work for a bar so there’s no mama involved and the girls don’t have to be back at any given time. They usually are willing to stay for a while, and we usually have great chats both before and after. The level of English is much higher than the typical bar girl. Many times we’ve gone to dinner (sometimes at the ladies request).

But patience is necessary. You don’t always get an immediate response. My system is a few nights before I want to meet I cruise the site and jot down multiple numbers. Then the night before I reach out to three ladies and wait for a positive response. That one I make arrangements with for the next night.

Sure, it’s a bit of work. And the downside is not being able to see them and chat them up before committing, but I find that’s a trade-off I’m willing to make. The ease of sitting in your room and having the lady come to you, and not having to pay over the top drink prices (I’m partial to my own single malt) more than overcomes the atmosphere of the bar.

I think there will always be a place for the bars, as it is fun to go out for a night of carousing, but for me, I’ve moved with the times, and find the internet is the better way to go.

Take care

Professor

The author of this article can be contacted at : Thethaiprofessor@yahoo.com