I enjoy reading these submissions but have only contributed a few times. This is my second time addressing something I read in another letter; in this case it is the one titled “Been With a Ladyboy?”
I’ve been married to a Thai woman these last 15 years or so. She is a plain, college-educated woman from a middle class family. My in-laws are not dependent upon me for support. My wife and I have a satisfying, boring kind of love that is very stress-free. A refreshing change of pace from the irresponsible, pretty Filipino bargirl I used to be married to back in the ’90s. I’ve got a few years left before I retire. I’ll divide my time between the USA and Thailand, but I’ll try to avoid spending more than a month or two at a time each year outside the States. I’ve got too much going on here at home which I can’t do in Thailand.
My experience with transgender persons is not limited to those I encounter in Thailand. I work in a shipyard and there are several fellow employees including two in my shop who are transitioning. The man who will transition to female later this year seems to be one of those guys who wants to be “pretty”. He has his hair dyed pink and dresses in long shirts and tights in an industrial environment. The steel toed boots and safety glasses make his attire acceptable for now anyway. Another person transitioning is going female to male. She will probably pass much better as a man compared to my male to female co-worker. And no, I’m not boinking either one of them.
I’ve no desire to bed a ladyboy but have found some of them to be attractive. My wife will sometimes show me photos and ask me “ladyboy or woman?” I usually guess correctly. The clothes definitely make the girl, I’d most likely not find them attractive if I was seeing their boy parts.
I take exception to this statement Sydney made in his submission titled; Been With a Ladyboy? “Yes, you had sex with another man. That makes you a closet or overt gay – a homosexual.”
I feel it is the same kind of thing a racist would say about a mixed race person. The typical racist will say if a person has a single drop of black blood in them then they’re not white. I wonder if the opposite is true?
Would Sidney also say this about a gay man, “Yes, you had sex with a woman. That makes you a closet or overt heterosexual?” I’m going to guess that he would not say that. Of course Sidney goes on to say that he is not homophobic; a real laugh there of course. It seems the ones that crow the most about their aversion to something are the ones most likely to be hiding in the closet and afraid to come out.
It sounds as though Sidney has an axe to grind and is offended by the mere presence of those who do not feel the same way he does about gender roles and sexual preferences. That is a very shallow way to live and I doubt that he is interested in changing his outlook on life at all.
His submissions show just how shallow he can be. Sydney goes on and on about his “Thai Girl” observations. But it seems he is limiting his observations to those in the sex industry. Really? Why be so narrow? Sydney, you ever get out of the sleazy parts of the country at all? You should live a little and see what the real Thailand is like. I’m certain you won’t like it as the rest of Thailand outside of the cities probably isn’t set up to cater to your sexual urges. Haha..
While I have availed myself to the occasional massage in Thailand, it doesn’t go farther than the massage even if the woman offers. I’ve said it before in another submission, I’m not going to risk my genitals or my marriage over a tug. This didn’t stop another person from bitching about my attitude though. Has it ever occurred to some of these mongers that a person doesn’t have to be ruled by the little head?
To me Thailand is much more than Bangkok. Most of my in-laws live near Korat and I prefer to visit Chang Mai or one of the smaller islands more than Bangkok. Koh Tao was nice until it filled up with people and nightlife. One of my best stays in Thailand was at a cheap resort on the beach that had running water 24 hours a day and electricity 12 hours a day. The diving was great.
Get away from the city and live a little; you only live once!
This quote of yours hits the bullseye – “It seems the ones that crow the most about their aversion to something are the ones most likely to be hiding in the closet and afraid to come out.”
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