Online Dating – Can It ‘Work’…? – Part 4
Part-1 outlined my basic reasons for investigating ThaiLoveLinks.
Part-2 detailed my first two meetings with tender Thai damsels.
Part-3 covers two further meetings with less tender lasses.
During the latter part of 2011 I was rather losing heart. Few of the ladies I encountered on ThaiLoveLinks seemed suitable for the sort of semi-professional arrangement I was seeking. I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, or for sex, or for marriage, nor to find a family/village on whom I could lavish my life-savings. I just wanted a friendly soul who could look after my very basic domestic requirements, who would be happy with earning (initially) just a little more than at present, all expenses paid, but with a much, much easier life, and with more ‘free-cash’ to send home.
Incidentally… it might also be noted that a simple house-cleaning service is quite easy to obtain in Hua Hin, at 500 ฿/hour – yes, per hour…! When I was told this I was unable to stop myself laughing at the lady. She looked bemused and asked why I was laughing. I told her I wasn’t a tourist, as she well knew, because we had been friends a year or two before when she was working, unsuccessfully, in the bars…
I am approached by ‘Daa’ (not her real name), a pretty, but plain young lady working in a Bangkok ‘company’. She (or a friend) writes passable English but, when we exchange phone numbers, she is unable to speak any English, cannot understand much of my Thai, and speaks Thai far too rapidly for me to follow.
Although she seems very pleasant-natured I can see no future in a relationship without even simple communication… and I fail to respond to her final email, which is identical to the previous three…
Also, at this time, I finally get a broadband connection to my home, and discover the plethora of downloadable material online, and return to my first love – the movies – as ThaiLoveLinks takes a back seat to YouTube.
By the end of 2011 I decide it’s a waste of time. Maybe my ‘criteria’ are too rigid, or just incredible, or maybe the online-ladies, like ‘de Camptown ladies,’ sing a different song. I find a ‘new’ lady in a massage salon locally, who isn’t enjoying herself there, and wants out, who stays with me for four days… a nice, sweet-natured, agreeable, but fundamentally bone-idle soul. I help her get a job in a local cafe, and say goodbye… As does the cafe owner, the following week.
During the winter I keep largely to myself until an old friend from the ‘bar-area’ returns from a less than satisfactory time in Holland (allegedly), along with another baby to go with the one left by her previous Thai husband. Why do so many Thai girls, left in the lurch by a Thai husband do the same thing with a farang but expect a different outcome…? Debate.
We have been good friends for a few years, and she now makes weekly visits. Her gardening skills are surpassed by her cleaning skills… which are trumped by her massage skills… which are very entertaining and enjoyable. She’s a good woman but needs a guy who is maybe less fussy, and expects less than me… She also wants 20,000 ฿/month all found, plus a moped…!
After a two-month absence I check ThaiLoveLinks and discover I have had 37 ladies view my profile, 19 of whom have expressed an interest, 12 have sent messages, and 4 have made me a ‘favourite’… and I am unable to drum up interest for any of them…
In the summer of 2012 I have to ‘go west’ to sort out some business interests and am away for two months… returning somewhat exhausted, and ready for a change of fortune. In the taxi from the airport I check my phone contacts and give the lady above, a call… She wants to know where on earth I’ve been. After explaining and futilely reminding her I had previously told her I’d be away, I intimate that I expect my garden will be in need of attention. She says it’s now too dark to inspect the garden but… er… she could, er… come in the morning… She seems to want to say something more so I prompt her with: “And…” and she whispers, “But I can come to attend to you tonight…”
I get the taxista to stop at the Esso station, where this charming lady, looking literally like a sight for sore eyes, is patiently waiting. In the morning she makes a start on the garden while I languish in bed, without any feelings of jet-lag – I can recommend it. After a couple of hours she is bored and returns to bed. I don’t complain.
At the end of my sojourn in the western wilderness, sometimes feeling rather lonely, I went through all my past files of ThaiLoveLinks lovelies, and the only lady who still seems to be a ‘possible’ is Daa [See above.] All the others have some major issue… I have to remember what it is I want out of such a relationship, and not be concerned too much about what they want. They almost all want either immediate money or long-term security. I want part-time company and part-time peace and independence.
I have also taken a peek at another Thai-centric dating site, also mentioned by Stickman: ThaiFriendly… but I’m not immediately impressed… The first lady I write to replies with: “i live in ubon honey i'm sell coffee but now stop because not good location now i'm looking for new location”… We were doing OK until the use of ‘honey’ – I don’t think this is normal in Thai (dialogue or writing), and disconcerts me… Also she sounds as if she might be looking for sponsorship… and/or setting up a business in Hua Hin… So I don’t reply…”
I drop another line to Daa [See above.], apologising for my disappearance, and asking if she’s forgotten me… and, after a few more messages, we agree to meet at MBK, a few days later… so why, when I get there, is she sending massages asking where in the Siam Paragon I am…! I decide it’s best if one of us stays put, and tell her I’ll be there in ten minutes… I phone again, but she can’t understand anything I say, until I suggest, beside the KFC, which is easy to enunciate on the phone. I see a lady coming towards me, on the phone, her lips moving in sync with what I can hear on my phone, but she looks much prettier than her photo on ThaiLoveLinks… I smile but she first blanks me (I do not look different in the flesh…), until I risk an harassment charge, and just say, Hello, and she puts her phone away and seems to unbelievingly accept it’s me, as she introduces me to her ‘friend’ – she had mentioned bringing one, last year, but I wasn’t expecting her.
Daa looks and behaves like a quiet country-girl – her colleague looks and behaves like a bar-girl… and even asks if, when Daa comes to Hua Hin, she can come as well, because she would like to investigate the bar scene there. I feel like assuring her it’s much the same as she will have experienced elsewhere… but instead try to keep her quiet while I endeavour to communicate with Daa, which is easier, face to face, than it had been on the phone…
They claim they’ve never been to Central Bangkok before and simply don’t know where MBK is… and I’ve never known a Thai lady ask directions of a total stranger. On the off-chance they’ve actually brought me here deliberately, and as I have been previously introduced to the prices here, and there are now two of them, I suggest we go somewhere quieter, and whiz them back to MBK, and introduce them to the joys of ‘coupon-cafes’… Even before we’ve sat down ‘the friend’ is doing most of the talking, saying she’s never, ‘had a farang’, and all the farang on ThaiLoveLinks don’t like her… Frankly I don’t feel too surprised.
She says she often chats with farang online but when they discover she can speak English ‘very well’… (which actually she can’t…!) they all, in her opinion, give her the heave-ho, thinking, in her opinion, farang don’t trust Thai ladies who can speak good English. Looking at, and listening to her now, I think they are being wise, even if for the wrong reason… It slightly bothers me that Daa is using her as a roll model…
. . . which, finally, brings me to Daa… but more of her next time…
That’s all for now folks… Pip, Pip.
Hua Hin Harry
to be continued…