Online Dating – Can It ‘Work’…? – Part 5
Part-1 outlined my basic reasons for investigating ThaiLoveLinks.
Part-2 detailed my first two meetings with tender Thai damsels.
Part-3 covers two further meetings with less tender lasses.
Part-4, in which I investigate a ‘company girl’, and take a break.
. . . which, finally, brings me to Daa (not the real name)… who is quite delightful, almost gorgeous, though very timid, demure, reticent… and speaks so quietly I have to lean forward and put my ear to her lips in order to hear anything… She is much prettier than her photo, and looks a lot younger and doesn’t look hardly at all overweight – and not at all what I had feared. Daa is instantly likeable – she is quite sweet, naturally polite, puts her hand over her mouth when she laughs, which she does often (and which I hope is because she understands me and is not just being polite…), and is yet bold enough to ask pertinent questions – which she also does quietly and politely…
In MBK’s coupon-cafe I buy 200 ฿’s worth, and give them all to Daa… and then, as a joke, say goodbye… Daa’s face drops but the friend sees the joke, and they both laugh. I later explain that I like to joke and not be serious… unless seriousness is necessary…
We chat, and chat, with several lulls, which I actually like – providing tranquility, and it’s quite soothing… It is rather necessary that any lady with whom I have a relationship is able to speak up when necessary but to also know how to be calm and peaceful… Daa seems, at the moment, to fit the bill… We only talk about the present, and the past, and there is no presumptuous or premature talk about the future.
The friend is now keeping quiet, but intermittently comments about wanting a farang; wanting to come to Hua Hin; and wanting a job there – she apparently left the factory a month ago, and hasn’t worked since. She doesn’t say, why… I increasingly go off her…
After lunch we stroll around MBK… Daa barely looks at anything, doesn’t touch anything, and we mostly take the opportunity to chat as her friend checks the offers… until I ask Daa if she would prefer to ‘sit this one out’… and she asks if I like coffee… Oh oh… Three coffees and two tiny cakes cost more than double the cost of lunch – just saying… LOL. Please allow me to add, I have no problem with entertaining a lady in this way but, it’s not how I normally live and it’s best she doesn’t take it for granted.
Daa lets on that she thinks I ‘look good’ (one can never be sure what is meant by this term), and that she likes me, and would like to see me again… and the whole time I am thinking this is one very charming and delightful lady… who is (I think) too young for me (although her ThaiLoveLinks preference is: 30 – 80…) but when I mention this, especially when I tell her she looks so much younger, she asserts (as they all do) I am a good age for her… I don’t feel inclined to argue it.
I introduce the topic of money by asking what she earns at her ‘company’ and she rather quickly replies: 6,000 ฿/month… but Friendly Freda elbows her and Daa changes it to 9,000 which is about 50% higher than I’ve always encountered. I later discover Miss Yingluck is about to raise the minimum wage by 50%, which, as whims go, strikes me as an abrupt and ludicrous act… Apart from this little slip I have almost as much fun as with Pung last year, but feel this meeting could be much more worthwhile and certainly has more long-term potential…
Eventually the friend asks if I like Daa, and if I want to see her again and if I want her to come to Hua Hin… I say: Yes, Yes, and Up to her… Daa declares she would also like to see me again but seems reticent to come to Hua Hin, at least on her own, although this might just be because she’s not sure she’ll be able to find her way alone… and I certainly do not want her to bring her friend… In the end Daa suggests I send her an SMS if I want to see her so, as a joke, I take out my phone, look at the display as if I’m checking something, and ask her to excuse me… She gives me an old-fashioned look as if I’m just like all the others… and I write a message saying I like her and want to see her next week. When her phone bleeps Daa looks at me and asks if I just sent her a message. I say, of course, and tell her I know what she was thinking… and she has the grace to giggle guiltily – and looks even prettier… and she returns the message: Thank you ka, i am want meet you again.
We agree to meet again next Tuesday, again at the Paragon, which is easier for her, and I can take her to the Japanese place on the other side of the tracks. She said earlier she’d never tried Japanese and this is an easy place to try it… Next week she’s on nights, which means she comes off the Monday-night shift at 07:00 and says she could meet me at eight o’clock… Apart from the fact she’ll surely be tired, there’s no way I can get to Bangkok by eight o’clock, so I suggest she sleeps until eleven and meets me at noon again.
Back in Hua Hin I visit my favourite bar to tell my owner-friend how it went today… and she gives me a free G&T to celebrate…
During the following week I send messages to, and phone Daa every day, but she merely answers my messages, and never phones… so, by Monday evening, as I don’t bother, we haven’t spoken to confirm meeting tomorrow. I decide to go ahead as planned, because I have a little shopping to do anyway… and find her awaiting me. Although she’s a bit dubious I talk her into trying the Yakitori Cafe, promising we can go elsewhere if she doesn’t like it.
I order a dozen or so different little items for her to try but… Daa decides she wants one of the main dishes and, as an after-thought, a side order of fries (in a Japanese restaurant…!?), and suddenly we seem to be back in the ‘kingdom of the rich farang’… Her order alone is equivalent to three day’s pay, and she doesn’t blanche at ordering it. We will have to have a conversation very soon because it seems to me that Daa is too believing of the ‘old Thai adage’ that ‘All farang have lots of loot’…! However, although Daa looks perfectly alert, and not at all sleepy or weary, we virtually say nothing because Daa barely speaks, barely answers my questions and, by one o’clock I am reduced to asking why she’s saying nothing… “I’ve got nothing to say…” is her disinterested response… but she quickly scoffs all of her expensive meal, as well as some of the yakitori I had ordered, and then finishes off the fries… It’s not an attractive, nor promising sight.
Daa also seems to just be a different person this time and I’m thinking it’s good to be seeing her other side, so soon… I am a person who likes to communicate. I realise this will always be difficult in a different language and culture… but it will be impossible with someone who has nothing to say.
Speaking almost for the first time Daa now complains (!?) of being full, and tired, and I jokingly suggest she should return home to bed… and she instantly agrees…! I say nothing, pay the bill, escort her to the station, buy her ticket, put her on the next train with barely a goodbye, and no mention of next week, as Daa thanks me, but makes no apology about being tired and, at one-thirty, I wonder why I bothered… although I do now have ample time to go to Pratunam…
But I am left really bemused at quite what Daa expects of me, or of anybody, come to that… Despite having told her it took me four and a half hours to get here (door to door) (to her fifty minutes…), and cost four times as much as her journey, she seems to have no concept of quite what I’ve been through, just so I can buy her an expensive meal, and say goodbye… Later, I receive an SMS from her saying she’s now back home, and thanks me for coming to see her. My immediate reaction is to hope she got all she wanted out of it because she’s unlikely to get another opportunity…
OK… so I’m a miser, if that’s how you wish to see it but… I have a standard of living, which is much higher than most of the Thai people (and indeed many, single farang…) I’ve ever met, and any lady who cohabits with me will have a much easier and better (at least materially) life than she currently enjoys… but my wife, for example had delusions of grandeur that required huge injections of cash and, although I escaped long-lasting damage with her, I did waste money there… and I will be happier in the future not to experience the same thing again.
I think the sort of person who might be interested in the sort of offer I’d like to make will probably be ‘working class’, with insufficient education to better themselves… but, with my help, they can do so… However, if they have expectations of living the life of Riley simply because they have ensnared a ‘rich farang’ I’m sorry, but it isn’t going to happen.
I consider myself a fair person. I’m also not greedy nor extravagant. I am also often more generous (with lady-drinks, for example) than most other expats I encounter in Hua Hin… but perhaps that’s not a good sample to be judged beside. I know younger guys, working in the West, and on holiday, put much more across the bar than I do – it’s a different situation and I don’t need to compete with it.
On the other hand, maybe I doth protest too much. We are, all of us, what we are.
On returning to Hua Hin I again call on my friendly mama-san who sympathises and suggests all I can do is send a thank-you SMS, without making any mention of a third meeting.
Incidentally… I have another ex-bar-girl who likes to visit when she’s not otherwise busy, either on her farm, or with her regular ‘winter-wonder’. She takes really good care of me personally, works in my garden more industriously than the ants, never asks for money or presents and, when we are in a restaurant, invariably asks what she can have. However… she is controlling and, she freely admits, intends to increase the size of her farm by buying up adjacent plots. At the moment she asserts she is happy to just visit, NSA, no fee, let’s be friends… but when she is here for just four or five days it takes me a week to get my home back to how I like it after she has gone. At my age it seems my peace of mind is ultimately more important than a tickle in the testicles…
And, as for Daa, who replies to my ‘thanks’ with another assertion of liking me, my friend suggests I send a polite SMS saying I’m busy at the moment but, if I have time, we can meet again… I ask if the ‘if’ should be in big letters. She laughs, and says: “VERY BIG…!”
That’s all for now folks… Pip, Pip.
Hua Hin Harry
to be continued…