Stickman Readers' Submissions June 13th, 2013

One Born Every Day?

I have never ever written one of these stories but in this instance I thought I had to put pen to paper. Everything is still so fresh in my mind! I will not go in to every single detail about what happened to me as that would be like reading a novel. So instead I have tried to stick to the key points and a little bit about myself.

I am a Asian man in his 40s. My parents are from Hong Kong but I was born in the UK. I visited Pattaya a couple of times when I was in my early 20's, enjoyed it very much but viewed it only as a bit of fun. Fast forward another 20 years and I had had a few relationships with girls in the UK but everything always seemed to fizzle out. I had not been to Thailand for the last 20 years and then all of a sudden I went to Bangkok twice late last year and met this wonderful freelancer called Sophie (not her real name). I was so taken aback by her that when I did get back to the UK after the second time all I could think about was her.

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I kept in touch with her by Skype, email, phone and Line (Thais love free texting). I got to know about her a lot more. She had a son of 9 and also had her mother and father to keep so her monthly outgoings were substantial. We would chat about the future and how I really wanted to get to know her better.

In February of this year I decided to pack my job in (I hated it anyway) and go and get to know her. At the end of February I was in Bangkok with her. I did not have an abundance of money but enough to survive and a little bit to help her. Over the first couple of weeks we spoke about what we wanted and I met all her family and relatives. They all expected us to get married soon. But I was not so sure. I loved her very much but it was everything else that went with her that was putting me off. Basically if I was to get married to her I was expected to contribute to supporting her son and parents for the foreseeable future. I was expected to pay about £40,000 to help her build a house in her home village so her parents could retire there. And also help pay her monthly car payments for the next 2 years which are about £350 a month. She had a brother that was in the police force and I asked why he did not help her with money with her parents and everything else as she was under pressure to make about £1,700 a month – a lot of money in a country where the average monthly wage is around £300 (this was told to me by one of her relations). She said he had a family and did not have enough to help her. So I asked her why not cut down on her outgoings by selling her car but she said she would never do that. She also said she hated freelancing but on the other hand would spend money like it was out of fashion.

I was there 3 months with her and during that time she would buy £200 Ray Ban sunglasses, designer make up remover and cleanser kit (a set was about £400) and spent about £600 on her father's birthday. These are just a few examples. For someone that hated selling her body she sure spent a lot of money! It did not make sense. We had done so much over the 3 months I was with her. We had visited her home village with her and her family, been to Cambodia and many, many other things. I got to know her family well and they always said they liked me. I stayed with her many times at her apartment with her and her family (5 people in 1 room). They used to cook for me and help with my laundry. I liked everything about them. The downside was that I did not have enough money to stop her working at night as a freelancer. Which broke my heart. Basically some days I would see her for only a few hours but others I would spend the whole day with her, depending on how many customers she had. And believe me, sometimes she would go out at 12 in the afternoon and then come back to my hotel at 4 in the morning. It was torture. I would listen to her talking to her many, many customers making appointments with them. It was heartbreaking for me and so sad that somebody I cared about so much had to do this. But still I was not prepared to take the chance to marry her.

I did not have a job now and my savings would not cover what she had asked for. Also, I had not known her long enough. Maybe if it was just her and not her whole family to keep I may have taken the chance because I was crazy about her. It was almost 3 months I had been in Bangkok and my finances were very low and I was getting a bit homesick so I booked a flight back to the UK at the end of May. Another reason I decided to come back was because she said she was going to be very busy in June and she could not see me much!

Then all of a sudden, one night about 10 days before I was going back to the UK, she got a text from a customer in another country. The text roughly said that he was in love with the girl I was with and he would look after her and her family with money and he was coming to Bangkok in a few days. He was also going to give her 250,000 baht, roughly about £6,000. I asked her who this was and she told me she had only seen this customer twice and it was short time (1 – 2 hours) and had not even slept with him. He called her on the phone and I was there and she asked him why he was doing this for her and is he crazy or something after just meeting her twice. He was not an old man but a young man in his 20's so was not a desperate old man trying to hook up with a girl who was 30.

When he came to Bangkok she said she would be busy with him and a couple of other customers so I would not see her for a few days. This was about 1 week before I was shceduled to return to the UK. But we all know what happened next. I did not hear from her for 4 days and when I did try to contact her there was no reply. Then one day I turned my laptop on and there was a message for me on an internet friend's site saying she would call me the next day. So being inquisitive I clicked on the link of the internet site and here was this girl I was with for the last 3 months plastered all over a web page with photos of them both together and also a photo of him with her family! What the hell was going on? I was in torment. I felt so sick. I had genuine feelings for her! How could she do this to me? She had said she loved me so many times! How could she do this to me?

I contacted her several times by email as her phone number was not working and after about 10 messages she finally replied to me. Sorry but I am with this other man now I hope you understand. This was after knowing him for less then 1 week. She did not even want to see me before I went home as she felt bad for me. But in the end I persuaded her to see me but she could only see me for a short time as she was busy.

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Before, when I was important to her, she had all the time in the world for me. When I did see finally her my emotions got the better of me and I was in tears. I really loved her. She felt the same as me she said and things were very emotional. She kept on telling me how sorry she was. But deep down I knew I was only there until somebody better came along that could supply her and her family with all their needs. Financially I mean. But I did not expect her to stoop so low, as she did not even want to tell me she had found someone else. Someone she had met for less then 1 week and she had called crazy just a few days earlier.

I came home back to the UK feeling physically sick, utterly disappointed and very sad. I have spoken to her online a couple of times (I am not sure why) as I still have feelings for her even after I know she will never be mine and what she did to me! Though that will be my last time, I cannot help the way I feel. All her family's financial worries will be over and she will not have to work as a freelancer anymore.He will help them finance a house, amongst other things she probably has not told me.

What I really cannot believe that in this day and age there are still people out there crazy enough to take a chance with somebody after knowing each other less then one week! Especially the person with the big pockets. We all know money can't buy real love. How long their relationship will last only time will tell! When I did see her for the last time she did not have the handbag that I had bought her but a new one. A sure fire way to tell that they have found a new man.

Stickman's thoughts:

Sad to hear it worked out like this but really, I think you know you're better off without a woman like this! It sounds like she will only be happy when she is being showered with money.

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