Marry or Monger? Part 3 of 3 – Marry, Don’t Monger and Best of Luck!
Marry, Don’t Monger
Seventies: Your choices: BG—great ass that offer nothing else except assured grief that you would actually feel ashamed of in all your social and business circles. One that you couldn’t relate to on any other level. GG—a beautiful woman that you can feel proud to be seen with, that is a compatible and comfortable life companion in all other aspects than sex. Yes, sex is important. And this woman provides you with sex, just not super sex. As time goes on you two may ‘come together’ somewhere in the middle. You want to grow old alone? Living the unfulfilling life of a lonely whoremonger in your sixties and seventies and eighties? I’ve always wished that ALL my wishes would come true too. But, DANG! they never have—everything is a compromise. I’m not satisfied, but I’m wise enough to be happy with what I have. Mature, loving sex with a caring life companion trumps those good old days of high octane performances with those young professional sex machines any day. It’s great to have experienced that in life but often we have to give up something to acquire a more valuable asset. It looks to me like you found yourself a gem. Until she has the assurance that you are not just using her, and that you really want take care of her for life she cannot relax into the comfort of that security. I wouldn’t be surprised if sex with her improves after the ceremony. Smile and continue patiently helping her to relax and develop her full appreciation of the joy of love-making. Slow down and enjoy the “work in process”. Polish the gem to its full potential and beauty.
Fifties: Keep hold of your Chinese GG with a grip like a Scotsman on a five pound note. She sounds absolutely wonderful. I took up with a Chinese GG in her 40s. Despite my best efforts I could not get her to enjoy the delights of orgasm. I believe this is a cultural thing but one which could have been addressed with time and patience. Unfortunately I never had opportunity to remedy this. We lost contact but I often think about her lovely disposition and her soft pliant body so different from my experience with numerous Thai ladies. She was exquisite.
Sixties: I have had my fair share of adventures all over the world. I am certain that hot sex will always be on my mind, but I am finding that my physical ability to have hot sex is slowly but surely diminishing. I am in good shape but the agility, stamina and erection are not what they used to be. Money is what makes a Chinese woman’s world go around, never sex. I have had relationships with them where the sex was terrific but in all cases sex was never important to them, only as something that might convince me to marry them so that they could be financially secure. Many men in a situation like yours will marry the GG and still engage BGs discreetly; not ideal but a practical solution. Marrying GG and forgoing the joys of Pattaya would be the right thing to do: Hot sex is well and good but there is nothing worse than loneliness.
Fifties: I know of no data suggesting interest in sex has anything to do with ethnicity. There are many options, the best being honest communication, learning pleasuring techniques. A good sex therapist can also do a lot and they give better homework than other therapists do! You will get laid after every session—how can you lose? An educated partner is a lot better than a BG. When I am not pissed off at my Chinese wife, I think she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lost my job in the recession. Unlike a BG, I have a wife who supports me while I raise our child. How many of these Thai girls you met could or would do that? I spend a lot more time with Chinese women these days (friends) and have a lot of respect for them. I love Thai people and food, but “sanuk” and “mai pen rai” do not do as much in a long term relationship as they do in a short one. In the end, you have to look into your heart. Do you love her? You can always work on the sex. Can you find another like her?
Fifties: After two years you know how good GG will be in bed—it won’t improve. But your own libido will accommodate a slower sexual pace (but not a lower quality for each experience). I have been married to a GG Thai for 10 years. For us, the quality of our coupling (not madly passionate, but very devoted to pleasing each other) adds to the love that anchors our relationship. Whenever things feel a bit stressed, we find that the bedroom helps to bring the loving feelings back into the relationship. It seems to me that if that were not the case, the stress would win out. So I guess it depends just how loving and affectionate the relationship is for you outside of sex, and if you think the lack of a good sexual relationship impacts the overall connection between the two of you. I don’t counsel you to do what the mongers are saying …been there, done that …it feels good for the moment, but most of us cannot compartmentalize and feel guilty, even if we don’t think we do. Eventually, you’d meet a BG who is “different” and it would all come crashing down.
Best of Luck
Unknown: I’d say your Chinese woman is the way she is and won’t change much after marriage, although she might try harder to please you, which is not the point: you obviously enjoy pleasing the woman. if you are already considering settling down, I think if you bypass GG1 you will invest again for GG2. GG1 will make your life smooth. GG2, who spins in the sack, will be work because when you tire is flat you might get jealous or suspicious as she looks elsewhere. Your problem is simply that you are spoiled after sampling it all. You need to regret something before you can make a decision easily. Choose your regret carefully!
Seventies: I have been living in Thailand now for four years and met and subsequently married a Thai I met on the web. My wife was in her forties when we met and had never been married. She was not a virgin, although her sexual experience was very limited. When we first met the sex was unbelievable, great and often—she advanced on me several times. After four years she could care less whether she has it or not. She has even stated to me that she is not young any more as if to excuse her lack of desire. We have had a few discussions about her lack of desire but they have been difficult as she has a difficult time talking about personal issues or matters between us. We are never able to talk out our feelings as she just says I talk too much. Conclusion: the older the lady is when she initiates sexual relations the less likely she is to enjoy them in the future; she has missed out on the dynamite years and has merely adjusted to being comfortable without craving sex. Where can I find your BG6?
Sixties: I married someone perfect in every way but in the sack she was just never into it and as time passed the “trying to please me” was seen as just that. As the years passed it had me feeling “What is wrong with me that she doesn’t respond or desire me”. The problem was her, not me. Good luck from a longtime stick reader who’s been there and done that.
Sixties: An old man needs a very willing partner who puts his needs very high on her priority list. As he gets older, if the girl is not sexy and very willing, he is just not going to be able to perform. If a girl does not want sex from the start, she probably never will; she may just allow her man to have what he wants but those deals generally mean less access as time goes on. A man is stuck with the pool of available women; your Chinese is obviously a catch in your location while here in Vietnam she would have no chance. I could get another girlfriend one in a matter of days if I wanted to replace her, so I have no plans to export her to my country. Could I pull this off in Thailand, Singapore, or Hong Kong? Not likely. Here you can also get girls like a rented partner—a housekeeper who serves you in all ways. If I were living in Thailand, Singapore, or Hong Kong, I would likely be making a decision like yours. Sex would not matter as much, provided I can have a girl who still excites me. I would not get sexually excited about a girl in her 40s, but I might marry one based on other issues if finding a younger partner was impossible. I was married to a beautiful young Vietnamese and an Indonesian; both marriages ended in the USA where they were stars and could have anything.
Fifties: First, the easy one, the one about Chinese. She should be taken as an individual case. Mine has blossomed in sex enjoyment, though there is still a ways to go. About marriage, you will have to decide for yourself, and I wish you best of luck. The most important thing is never forget that YOU ARE A MAN, there will still be poontang out there as well as lady friends, so don’t marry out of a poverty mentality. If you marry, then keep your balls and don’t hand them over, and do a prenup—that might be a sobering experience for her if she has a hidden agenda.
Fifties: I have had about fifteen Chinese women, mostly looking for men to sponsor them to get a resident visa for my country. Most, if not all, were GGs, though the ones looking for visas may be regarded as BGs (selling themselves for a visa). 12 were willing to have sex with me. Of the 12, four were enthusiastic about sex, but only one was any good at it. My conclusion as far as Chinese women are concerned is they are poor at sex. I eventually married a Chinese and the sex did not improve after marriage. The big issue with marrying Chinese women is “What are her plans for the future?” Chinese women get pissed off if their husband makes plans without consulting them, but the reverse is OK as far as they are concerned. Her long-term plans and mine were incompatible. My advice is:
1. No, the sex is not going to get any better after you marry her no matter what she says; and
2. Make her tell you what her plans for the future are and get them in writing as part of a pre-nuptial before you marry her, otherwise you will be letting yourself in for a lot of heartache and divorce losses.
I went with the elder minority and married GG. I reckoned that if I opted for GG now a BG option would always be possible for stress relief (we live in Asia). Separate bank accounts, being retired, living in rented housing, and not having more children minimizes my financial downside. If I had instead opted instead for BGs now, my option on GG would have evaporated and I would regret not having given that option more of a chance.
Sex with my GG has not improved even though she is willing to try new things such as porn and toys “for the sake of the relationship.” Sex with her and no condom is now about on par with sex with an average BG with a condom. I would never have contracted for lackluster sex in my thirties and would certainly never got such a woman pregnant along with the financial exposure that would create. However, as I enter my sixties I am finding sex doesn’t matter quite so much any more—the memories and an honest, curvy warm body next to me seem to satisfy me most of the time, as long as she is available for me at those horny other times. However, if she stops trying then I expect our future together will be determined by whether my dick has withered faster than my self-control. So far, so good, but only time will tell.