Stickman Readers' Submissions February 6th, 2013

Marry or Monger? Part 2 of 3 – Monger and Marry

Monger and Marry

Sixties: Women are women. A couple of years, maybe a couple of months and a man’s fancy turns to younger women or different women or maybe alpacas. I use half a Viagra with my GG who I live with. None at all with the 18 year old new lady at the bar down the street. My GF exudes goodness and kindness and love but she doesn’t bring home 18 year old farm girls to have a threesome with. I make love with my GG three times a week and with bar girls twice a week.
I have sex with the cashiers at the restaurant I frequent so I can think about pussy while I eat. I like sex.

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Fifties: Would I stay with the Chinese GG? Well, I’d stay with her, and fuck your heart out on the side with BGs.

Fifties: You obviously enjoy great sex with hot young women; just because you are getting older doesn’t mean you have to give that up. My wife is ten years older and she is still very attractive. The sex with lube is amazing. And I also enjoy a semi-annual week in Bangkok banging a gogo girl. I take half a Cialis every few days to keep me ready. If you settle with a GG, pick a horny one, maybe Thai. Supplement GG with “business trips” if you can get away with it.

Fifties: While I still enjoy sex very much I now find that, while I still enjoy twice a day, if the girl is not up for it I don’t mind skipping a turn. I can safely predict that as I enter my sixties the desire will continue to drop off. What will not drop off is my interest in relationships, mutual caring, and spending personal time with a woman I love. A long-term relationship would be higher on my list of priorities than mind-blowing sex. I have been with a Thai woman for six years now; she does not enjoy sex and has bluntly told me so, but she performs on request. Sex is adequate, and as I care for her deeply I enjoy the closeness that sex brings, but the sex itself is boring. However, in Asia you can have your cake and eat it too. Many men I know who are happily married to Asian women have had their wives tell them (as they approached menopause) that their days of sex were over and they would quite content for their husband to seek comfort elsewhere as long as there was no loss of face for the wife. My own wife has told me the same. The Chinese even have an expression “One eye open, one eye closed”. So my advice to you is: marry GG. Have sex with GG, and enjoy the closeness it brings, but don’t expect anything mind blowing. So, discretely, enjoy either BGs (no commitments) or find a Mia Noi you can have the sex with that you miss with your wife. It is easy not to get caught as you follow certain rules.

1. Only see other women when you travel; at other times be home every night and refuse all invitations to go drinking.

2. Never give out your phone number; get a SIM card for each country you visit and only use that. Delete all SMS’s and dialed/received calls as soon as you get them.

3. Create a new Yahoo/Gmail account and only give that out to new acquaintances. Delete all incoming/outgoing emails as soon as you read/send them.

4. Dispose of all condoms before you come home after a trip.

5. Don’t keep photos.

6. Make love to your wife the night before you go on a trip, and the night you come back.

Unknown: GG has little or no sex drive (probably why she remained a virgin for so long). A wedding ring will not change her. I would imagine that you would find it impossible to maintain a monogamous relationship with her for more than a few years. You will never forget the delights of mongering. Cialis will keep you up for many more years. Frigidity is not a race-based problem and is more physical than mental, possibly even treatable hormone drugs if she will acknowledge that a problem exists. I have had the misfortune to have had a frigid partner in the past, with absolutely no sex drive or desire. A simple solution, if you have the money, is to marry your GG and get a Mia Noi to satisfy the rest of your needs.

Thirties: I am an Asian woman married to a western man. Tell GG about your mongering. You were single and kind and did not do anything wrong. All the Chinese women I know were virgins before getting married; sex is something taboo before marriage for them, even to read about it or to talk about it. Chinese women want their husbands to take the lead, to take the initiative, to give them examples. If GG is like most of my friends, it will take time but Chinese women are often eager to learn and to please. I am sure, with time and practice GG will be a vixen on the bed too. You and GG should try a swinger club.
Maybe go to to find a club in your country. Then ask a veteran to show you and GG around the first time. Some have dress codes (normal, catsuit, gothic, etc). You can try S&M, pegging, MMF or FFM, role playing, orgy, etc.
I feel that I love my hubby even more after we came home from the club. In SCs it feels like a big twisted family community, but a family still.

Forties: I’ve been married to my Thai GG for nearly ten years now. We live in the west, where we both work. We don’t want children. My wife is beautiful, highly educated, hard working and has a beautiful character. Sex was satisfactory in the beginning, although far from the best; we even bonked on the beach. But sex became infrequent and unexciting—I don’t want to imagine how it will be in another ten years. P4P is the way I handle The Issue: I go to Bangkok and Pattaya every three or four months. My wife doesn’t have that much holiday time so comes only once a year to Thailand. Then she stays with her family and I do whatever I want. Sex is important, but I wouldn’t want to give up my marriage for sex because I can get sex elsewhere. I went with hundreds of BGs, but still love my wife. Does she know what I do? We don’t talk about it, but she is Thai. I really think most middle-aged Asian women lose their interest in sex even more so than western women. My friends, who are married to western women and have never been to Thailand can’t understand P4P, for me it works perfectly, after that I come back to my loving wife—beautiful
but never horny nowadays. Most of my friends have bad sex at home, but they just don’t know better. I feel lucky and not at all bad about it. Men and women are just so different.

Forties: No need to elaborate any further about all the “options” available here in Asia as compared to a poor fellow living in US or Europe, though I would agree that all the excitement of steaming and hot nights fade away quite quickly: not even a 30 year old can carry on with it over a longer period of time. In a long term sex is not enough for a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. In my experience, Chinese ladies 25-35 years old seem to be pretty disinterested in sex, and in general the experiences have been mediocre to disappointing. I can fully underwrite your impression. I have lived with a Chinese lady for five years now and have had no meaningful sex for a long time but I am OK with it. As it’s still a win-win: good looking, educated, good company, all nice in day-to-day life. However, since I pay our daily life expenses, I have no regrets, shame, or bad feelings to take what I feel is my right elsewhere and monger on the side.

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Coming next: Part 3–Marry, Don’t Monger … and Best of Luck!

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