Readers' Submissions

Helpful Hints And Tips, A Non-Exhaustive List

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 5th, 2011
  • 12 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

In no particular order:

Airport – for a taxi, go to the 2nd floor, wait in line, tell the girl where you want to go and she’ll give you and the driver a receipt. Never take the taxis that are offered to you inside the airport. Always take the toll way, give the driver the money for the toll. Typically 200-300B to most hotels, barring traffic.

Taxis – always use the meter. If possible, take the pink or blue taxis, they are newer. The green and yellow taxis are old and tend to have the meters rigged. <Utter nonsenseStick> There should be a metal wire around the meter sealing it from being tampered with. Be careful when opening the door of the taxi, as motorbikes may be whizzing by (if the motorbike hits the taxi, they’ll make you pay for damages). Avoid tuk tuks.

Clothes/Jewelry – dressing in slacks and long sleeve shirts shows great respect for Thai culture. Don’t wear any expensive watches or jewelry; you’ll be a target for robbery. I have a $5 watch I bought at Wal-Mart that I use in Thailand.

Scams – Bangkok is full of scams like the taxi meters tampered with as mentioned above. Never go to any gem stores or buy jewelry. Avoid tailor shops. Don’t change 1000B notes for anyone. There are a lot of counterfeits. A real 1000B note will have a silver strip, a watermark, and on the top right you can feel it is embossed.

Some definitions – gg = gender girl, lb = ladyboy, bf = barfine, st = short time, lt = long time, fl = freelance, suk = Sukhumvit.

Don’t carry your passport with you. Make a copy and carry that with you. Keep your passport and any valuables in the hotel safebox. Most hotels have them in the room. If not, they’ll have them in the lobby. When you leave the hotel room never leave anything valuable “there for the taking”. Same applies if you bring someone to your room.

Cash – only carry enough cash with you for what you need that day/night. I have a hidden pocket I keep extra for any emergencies.

Ladyboys – they are expert pickpockets. If they approach you on the street, more than likely they will attempt to pickpocket you.

Police – if your taxi gets stopped by the Police (happens all the time, checkpoints everywhere) just be calm, do what the Police say (within reason), and be prepared to pay them off. They will probably search you.

Tourist Police – if you ever have any problems, call the Tourist Police. They speak English and will try to help, within reason. But keep in mind, Thais take care of Thais. The Police will not believe or help a Foreigner before a Thai. Tourist Police telephone number 1155.

Pricing – be aware that Thailand typically has “two-tier pricing”. Foreigners pay more than Thais.

Take it easy – the Thais hate confrontation and hate Foreigners that lose their temper. So stay cool and take it easy under any circumstance. Avoid any fight or disagreements. If not, you’ll have 10 Thai guys all over you in minutes – they do not fight fair.

Map – there is a map called “Bangkok at night” which is very helpful. If you see one in a store or 7/11, buy it.

Holidays – Thailand has a lot of holidays, and often the bars are closed on those holidays and it’s difficult to get alcohol. Some bars will serve beer in cups to get around the law (meaning they are paying off the Police). I stock up my hotel room fridge before those days so I have all need. Also, since I speak Thai, if I need beer on those days I go to a Family Mart, or similar small market (not 7/11) and offer a 100B tip to the cashier to sell me beer. They only make about 200B/day so it’s difficult to say no.

Tips – since this is a poor country, you have an opportunity to be a hero. So don’t be a “cheap Charlie”, as the Thais call it. Tip well. But this is important. After you pay a bill, the change will come on a tray. If you leave the tip in the tray, that goes “to the house”. So leave a small tip on the tray, and hand the girl a tip. If it’s handed to her, it’s her tip alone.

Beggars – in the tourist areas, in particular on Sukhumvit between Nana and Cowboy, you’ll see a lot of beggars. I always used to give money to them until I found out most are them are working for gangs. So I never give anymore.

Derelicts/Fugitives – be careful who you chat with, Thailand is a haven for these types of individuals from all over the world.

Tourism Authority – in tourist areas you’ll see some Thais in yellow shirts stopping you to ask questions. Don’t. Tell them you live in BKK. It’s a scam, they’ll get your hotel info then someone will call you trying to sell you things, take you on tours, etal.

Traffic – Bangkok is notorious for possibly the world’s worst traffic, with rush hour simply brutal. The skytrain and subway are helpful, but at rush hour can be sardine cans.

Shopping – Siam and Central World are the largest, full of restaurants, bowling, movie theaters, karaoke, etal. Siam Paragon has an IMAX and Asia’s largest aquarium – Ocean World. Chinatown is interesting as is Chatachuk Weekend Market, though expect massive crowds. Negotiating price is the norm in Thailand. There is a night market at Silom/Patpong with just about everything, including lots of pickpockets. Thailand is well known for counterfeit goods.

Chao Praya River – the riverboat ride at night is great, and there is a riverboat taxi as well.

Zoo – Dusit, Khao Din, and Prague (maybe the best).

Grand Palace – a must see. You must wear slacks and long sleeve shirt. Another scam is people trying to tell you it’s closed, or trying to get you to pay extra fees.

Temples – they are everywhere, Wat Arun is special and can travel by boat.

Jim Thompson House is interesting.

Mexican food – if you need a break from Asian fare, Sunrise Tacos is okay, though not cheap. Located Suk/soi 12, Siam Paragon-1st fl, Emporium-5th fl and coming soon to Central World.

White Lioness – new bar located at Suk/soi 12 with European/Russian girls. Expensive, cabaret-style show.

Eden Club – located Suk/soi7-1. Expensive, fantasy club where you order what you like from a menu (i.e., anal, role play, etal), typically take two girls.

Patpong – located in Silom. Not a place I like. Little dangerous, with lots of gogo bars that have special shows (i.e. girl shooting ping pong balls from her vagina). The problem is pricing. Many bars get you in, lock the door, charge you a fortune and won’t let you out unless you pay (or you’ll get beaten up).

Nana and Soi Cowboy are the places to go, they are full of gogo bars. Go in, grab a seat, order a drink, look around, and if someone strikes your fancy ask her to join you. Up to you if you order her a drink. I suggest chatting a little first, checking her English and chemistry. Touchy feely stuff is up to the girl, I don’t grope often. The girls don’t like guys that are always groping. Touch her arm, tell her she has nice skin (she’ll say dark, see below) and decide if you want to go with her. Always agree to terms in the bar and never pay up front.

Remember, they don’t care what you look like or how old you are. It’s a job, they just want money. That being said, they love Americans, we know how to be polite and show respect.

Dark skin – in Thailand, as in many Asian countries, white/light skin color is cherished. It’s a sign of being from the higher class. Dark skinned girls are looked on as low class, from poor, working families. The dark skin color comes from working outside, like farmers.

Nana is located at Suk/soi4. It has three floors full of approximately 30 gogo bars.

There are numerous bars along Suk/soi4. Don’t be surprised to see a lot of Arabs in these areas. Their numbers have been increasing dramatically in BKK, and the Thais hate them. The Thais also hate Blacks, and usually the girls will not go with them.

The bars typically close at 2am. At that time the streets are flooded with girls that did not get a date and are looking for somebody. Hang around the Nana Hotel parking lot and enjoy the view when the bars close. Nana Hotel is called the “mother ship”, and is located across the street from Nana. It has a pretty good restaurant and a disco that’s open until 4-5am. All along Suk there will be “open air bars” serving food/alcohol after the bars close, until 4-5am.

Go to Big Dogs or Lucky Luke's (at the entrance to Nana) at about 7pm and watch all the girls coming in to work. Those are great places to have a beer and people watch.

Try Angelwitch and Spanky’s (yes, there is spanking going on), but your favorite bar will be the one with a girl you like. Billboard has a Jacuzzi the girls bathe in. All of the Rainbow bars are pretty good, but cater to Japanese customers. The girls love the Japanese customers. They call it 333. 3 inches, 3 minutes, 3000B (they pay a lot, 3000B for a short time is way too much).

There are four ladyboy bars at Nana (there are none at Cowboy). Obsessions, Casanova, Temptations and Cascade. Cascade (3rd fl) is the largest and best. Go in for a drink and check it out, you will be amazed at how stunningly beautiful they are. I am a regular at Cascade and know the Mamasan well.

Soi Cowboy is located at Suk/Asoke. It is about a 15-20 minute walk from Nana. I usually walk, plenty to see. It is a long street, with one floor of gogo bars on each side. Some of the bars have an upstairs gogo area as well, including glass ceilings to see the girls dance. Most of the bars have an outside area to drink and people watch.

Some popular bars are Baccara, Tilac, Dollhouse, Shark, Toy and Suzy Wong. Baccara is my favorite but it is all Japanese customers. Be sure to go upstairs, they are in schoolgirl outfits and many are busty. If you are downstairs be sure to look up (glass ceiling and no panties on the girls upstairs). Afterskool is a “touch bar”, meaning you can get a HJ or BJ in the bar.

Both Nana and Cowboy have short time rooms if you don’t want to take someone back to your hotel. 300B for 1-2 hours.

Freelancers will be all around the street between Nana and Cowboy. Especially around Nana, with many ladyboys as well. If you go with a freelancer you save the barfine but it can be risky. Rarely do I go with a freelancer.

Barfines are 500-600B. Short times are 1000-1500B, long times are 2000-3000B. Long time means all night. I rarely do long times simply because they will want to stay in the room most of the day, sleeping and ordering room service.

Drugged – I’ve been drugged before so be careful. Sometimes it will be put in your beer or on their breasts. You kiss their breasts then later fall asleep. When you wake up all your money, cell phone or computer is gone. Another reason to lock everything up in the safebox. If you use a short time room try to keep your valuables in sight at all times.

Massage parlors are all around BKK. Two hours for about 2000B includes everything. But if you go to a “traditional Thai massage/spa” don’t expect sex.

Don’t take any pictures or videos without permission. The girls usually don’t like it because they don’t want it to end up on the Internet. If somebody lets you take their picture then give them a tip. Never take pictures or videos in the gogo, you will be thrown out, probably lose your camera/phone, and beaten up.

I don’t usually buy the girls drinks in the bar. They will always ask you because they get about 30B for every drink you buy them. I always tell them I tip instead. So if a girl sits with me for a while, when I leave I give her a tip, usually 100B. They much rather have the tip instead of the drink (which is coke).

If you are concerned that a girl is under 18 then check her ID. To determine age in the Thai system you must subtract 543 from the DOB. For example, 2011-18 = born 1993, plus 543 equals 2536, so 2536 or less is legal. The last thing you want is to get caught with an underage girl. You will be made a lesson of and go to jail for certain. Thai jails are not a fun place to be.

During the daytime bars are open along Suk/soi4 with plenty of girls working. Suk/soi7 has a “beergarden” that is always busy, day and night. The beergarden is freelancers.

If you are interested in taking two girls, ask if they have done it before (they will probably lie anyway). Also see if they seem comfortable together. You can also ask the Mamasan (Manager) for recommendations of which girl to choose, or any special requests. If the Mamasan helps you, give her a tip.

There are rumors that the lease for Nana will expire near the end of 2012 and that it will be replaced with condos. I doubt it but you never know, that is prime real estate and the area around Suk has been developing condos for years.


Stickman's thoughts:

To be honest, the only reason I ran this is that submissions have been very slow recently. I agree with some of what you have written, but would add there is a lot of misleading stuff here and some that is just plain factually wrong.