Readers' Submissions

My Story – Happy & Sad: Part 3



Fellow Stickmanites who commented on my two previous submissions saying how foolish I was to be in love and subsequently engaged to marry a former coyote dancer from Kiss in Soi Cowboy, and for those who wagered that when it all went tits up I would never say a word about it, may you all find comfort in what at the moment I can only see as terribly sad news: It's over! I caught her out! You told me so, most of you. You were right and I apologise for letting the male species down.

Her nickname in Kiss Bar was <details deletedStick> and her real name is <details deletedStick> of Bangbon, so if you are unlucky enough to meet her after reading this submission, you have been warned!

She caught me at a vulnerable time shortly after the lovely <details deletedStick> from Doghouse (sorry that should have been Dollhouse) had done a runner from the Honey Hotel with my laptop under her arm, my camera over her shoulder and her purse bulging with my currency.

<details deletedStick> made a beeline for me as soon as I entered Kiss and sat near the stage where she was dancing. Another girl had caught my eye and I had invited her to sit with me and have a drink. She was the fabulous kisser, a real expert at snogging, agile tongue and beautiful lips, but after a few minutes she called <details deletedStick> over in mid dance and introduced us to each other. The snogger suggested that as she was already sorted for the night I might like <details deletedStick> to sit with me. Reluctantly I agreed and after watching her dance (she was the best dancer in the joint, putting all her energy into her moves) we sat together and chatted. She told me she was a coyote dancer, a concept with which I was unfamiliar, assuming she was just another bargirl like all the others on Soi Cowboy. I liked her a lot and she snuggled up to me between dance sets and told me that she felt safe in my company.

I sat with her until closing time trying to persuade her to accompany me to the hotel but she was insistent that she could not, as her mamasan was keeping a beady eye on her as she wasn't allowed out, only to work as a dancer. At closing time (it was nearer 03:00 than 02:30) I slipped her 2,000 baht and promised to return the following night. I was still hoping to jump on her bones that night, but there was no way and I had to sleep alone.

The next night I gazed at her dancing with wonder – what a mover! Again she came over and sat with me between sets but there were one or two other punters in the joint who thought they could muscle in, buying her drinks which her mamasan told her to enjoy in the other bastard's company, much to my chagrin. But after she finished the drink and rejected their advances she came back and sat next to me. We held hands and cuddled, which was as far as I was ever destined to go, and I was love-struck once more. I fell for her really heavily. She assured me she never went out with customers and she wouldn't come to my room nor even enter reception with me. The only time she went into Honey Hotel was to use the restroom when she came to dine with me in the coffee shop. The second night she managed to slip me her mobile phone number and her name on a scrap of paper and once again I slipped her some cash, more this time (stupid twat). I telephoned her when I got back to the Honey and persuaded her to come and eat with me at Foodland on Soi 5. She brought a friend from Kiss and I bought both of them a good meal. She gave me an address (it later turned out to be her sister's address) and I told her I wanted to 'take care' of her. She seemed quite keen on the idea (what a surprise!) and for my last 2 nights in Bangkok I gazed lovingly at her in Kiss Bar while she danced, and she sat with me between sets while she caught her breath. I took her wrist and felt her pulse, thinking she might be unwell. It was racing, and I checked it again ten minutes later to find it had hardly slowed at all. It was most unusual for a girl of 20 to have a pulse over 120 bpm after several energetic dances, and I feared she had a medical condition. I donned my shining armour, mounted my charger and insisted that she accompany me to a private hospital the next day. I wouldn't take no for an answer. I explained my worries and she agreed to come with me to see the cardiologist. I was sitting in the waiting room nervously chewing my nails, afraid that she had a hole in the heart of a leaking valve, and required surgery. So it was a great relief when she showed me the doctor's report which showed she was suffering from Anaemia which meant that she had a reduced number of red haemoglobin cells carrying oxygen to her heart, making it race to keep her supplied with the requisite energy. The cardio recommended that she change her dietary habits to include a lot of foods rich in iron, such as liver, red meat, seafood and green vegetables and come back in a month.

I told her she would have to stop dancing because of the risks of exhaustion and I offered to be her financial support. She agreed to my proposal and 'retired' from working at Kiss Bar. I had to go back and I gave her my remaining funds and departed for Blighty, returning on a freezing December night to find Heathrow covered in so much snow that the buses and trains had stopped running. What a start to a horrible sojourn in England!

We carried on our romance by text (SMS) messages and (as I had bought her a BlackBerry in Bangkok) by email as well. I found it difficult to get by, sending her enough (more than enough!) to get by, giving her money to start her own business and we discussed her future for when she had regained her fitness. She decided she wanted to go back to school, finish her final year and then go on to University to study accountancy. I agreed to finance the gig for her and I paid her first year's school fees up front. Or I should say I gave the money to her; I had no idea whether she ever set foot in the school!

After a few weeks twiddling my thumbs at home, being retired, I began Googling her name and email address. I found she had a Hi5 account and a Facebook account. I saw a photo she had posted on her Facebook wall showing her attending what looked like a graduation ceremony, in the company of a man mentioned as a 'friend' on her Wall.

I accused her of having a boyfriend who she had been shagging, and her reaction was quite dramatic. She denied it of course, explaining that he was just a friend, and Thai people weren't immoral like Westerners, unable to keep it in their trousers! After getting the silent treatment for a couple of days I apologised and she forgave me.

She is on the left, just behind him (better looking than me, in a fagotty kind of way) <photos withheldStick> in his robes holding a bouquet. On her Facebook wall he had posted an unsavoury comment about me and my relationship with her. She eventually said sorry that her “friend talk bad about you” and I expected her to remove him from her Facebook. I checked again later and couldn't find her Facebook page from mine, so I assumed she had closed the account.

I emailed her thanking her for closing the account, but unknown to me she had actually blocked me from viewing it and was continuing with her 'friend'.

I promised I wouldn't look at her Facebook again and decided to leave it at that provided she kept in contact with me. She was still ill and I was worried about her – I wanted to hear that she was OK on a daily basis and I asked her to do so. She promised that she would, saying she knew I worried about her health.

She was communicating reasonably regularly either by text or email, so I settled down a little. The next thing was that she was spending her 21st birthday with her mother in the Temple being ordained as a novice nun. I was delighted and I sent her gifts and money aplenty.

The next thing was that she was out of touch again. I told myself it was all right, she was safe in the Ttemple even if she was only eating fish-heads and rice.

After her supposed 'ordination', she told me she was having a day at the seaside with her sister and sister's 2 kids, and she disappeared off the face of the earth once more. No emails, no texts and she wouldn't pick up either of her phones. I was really worried but the next day she answered her phone and told me she was OK but when I asked her if she was at school she said no. I said “Why no school?” and all she could say was “I very tired”.

The next day she was out of touch again and I tried ringing her BlackBerry from mine. I was alarmed to hear a recorded message saying “Your phone is barred from calling this number”. My messages weren't going through and she didn't email, and after trying to call both her phones several times with my other mobile without success I decided it was time to find out if her Facebook account was open and active. I signed in under an assumed name and found her Facebook Wall with the Heading “In a relationship with <details deletedStick>. Anniversary 1 March 2011”.

It really knocked me back, but it finally sunk in that most of the guys on Stickman had got it right. You guys were right and I was wrong. Vanity rules when you are only 64 but the other day I turned 65 and I'm much older and (I hope!) wiser.

Some nice people emailed me at [email protected] after my previous two submissions. I only received one 'hate mail' which isn't too bad. Also I had a very nice online encounter from one of Stickman's lady readers, a Chinese girl who lives in Penang and was married to a much older man. She was able to give me many valuable insights into different-age relationships. Her marriage to an old man was arranged by her family in the traditional Chinese way, but he never trusted her and kept such a close watch on her out of jealousy even though she was completely faithful, loyal only to him for all their married life, she was smothered and had to leave him. So desperate was she to get out that she left without a penny and he was a rich man so she should have got something, but she just wanted out. At least that won't happen to me now – I have given <details deletedStick> the boot.

It hurts and will probably keep on hurting for a while, but it's better to do it sooner than later, after I'd bought she and she mother a house!

I don't think I'll be whoremongering again after this. I put my hands up, you were right I was wrong.

But she flooded my inbox with messages giving all sorts of reasons why I had 'got it wrong' such as that she had closed her Facebook Account and given it to her friend to use! I asked her why it still had her photos all over, her own profile and birth date, and the crap about her pimp? She said she never looked at her Facebook account after her friend started using it.

She denied that she had barred all calls from my BlackBerry to hers, so I tried her number again and got the recorded message “Calls from your number are barred from this phone” and I told her. She continued to deny it and said she didn't answer my phone calls from my other mobile because she did not recognise the number! I would call her BlackBerry and when the ringing tone stopped I immediately called her Nokia and got the same result, so I would try the Blackberry again and of course she didn't pick up, then the Nokia. Same thing there.

After offering all kinds of excuses for all the things she had stuffed up she eventually came up with a new idea – she said she had stopped going to school so that she could reduce my expenses by working for <details deletedStick> in Silom. I know for a fact because my nephew in Udon sells insurance, that they don't get a salary (some receive a very small retainer) and the only money they can expect is the commission on any insurance they sell, so she's not going to be of much help to me by doing that! She told me her education was her “dream” which was why I paid for her school fees and was prepared to put her through University. I told her “If you are engaged to be married you don't just give up school – you discuss it with your betrothed and make sure we are in full agreement before you do such a stupid thing.

The excuses and denials kept coming all day. I accused her of shagging her boyfriend all along and keeping him looked after on my money! Naturally this was met with nothing more than a flat denial, but offering no explanations for the heading on her Facebook page. She really took me for an idiot and I was gullible enough to fall for her bullshit in the past, but now the tide has turned and the mouse roars!


The End


Stickman's thoughts:

Sorry for all of the edits but I won't allow people's names to be used like that. Also, the several supplied photos were not published!

You're 40+ years older than this woman and retired. She is at the start of her worklife. That is just one of a number of differences between the two of you. Right from the outset, this "relationship" had little chance of working…