Readers' Submissions

Open Your Eyes A Little Wider, Half-Chinese Girl




I’ve kept out of the debate about the opinions of half-Chinese Girl, but her follow-up submission was so full of loathing that I felt I had to respond and try to open her eyes a little as to what is really going on in Thailand. She clearly has only looked at the surface without any thought as to cause and effect, yet feels able to hurl abuse at a large number of people who choose to seek female company here.

I wonder what makes her so bitter, angry and scornful about something that really has nothing to do with her, except perhaps that a couple of people made what she considered to be offensive remarks to her. I’ll tell her something, as it appears to have escaped her notice. Men make offensive remarks to women everywhere, and not just because they look Thai. Every builder and lorry driver worth his salt will hoot his horn or wolf-whistle at an attractive girl in half-Chinese Girl’s own country as well as just about everywhere else. Most women are mature enough to ignore it. That’s just the way it is, and some would describe those men as losers, even though it’s just a bit of impolite but harmless fun.

Instead of berating men, who for any or several of a dozen reasons, take up with a P4P girl, why not direct your anger at the culture and society that puts the girls in that position in the first place. Now it is my turn to get angry. Why is Thailand world famous for prostitution? It is, after all, illegal in Thailand, unlike many other countries. Singapore has its pick-up places and short-time hotels, same as Thailand. So do Germany and the Netherlands, and many other places. They even build apartment blocks for them in some European cities, and there the girls sit with a number displayed on their window, and up the stairs the punters go. And no, I haven’t taken that path, but I did go and look at the building I clearly saw from a train pulling out of Dusseldorf Station.

So why, with prostitution legal in so many places, is it Thailand that is universally known for something that doesn’t officially exist? Because of the cancer of corruption. The Thai Police force has been described by the United Nations as a criminal organisation, and just about anything is permissible for a fee. It is also common knowledge that the vast majority of politicians are corrupt too, and when society cannot trust the people who make and are supposed to uphold the law then the very fabric of society breaks down. Every citizen of this corrupt nation knows that, no matter what you do, you have a very good chance of getting away with it because of connections or by buying your way out of trouble or because people just can't be bothered to deal with it.

People in Thailand do not have to be responsible, because no-one punishes them if they are not. And that results in and extends to the culture of allowing tens of thousands of young boys, every year, to get young girls pregnant and then taking no responsibility for their actions. All too often the girl is left with having to raise the child by herself, and with little education she often has little option but to sell her body. It is deeply ingrained into the culture, and disgusting, yet half-Chinese Girl chooses to direct her anger at the very people who are allowing the girl to send money back home to her parents or grandparents to help raise her child. Does the boy that fathered the child help? Is the moon made of green cheese?

There are so many thousands of girls forced into prostitution by a system that does its best to keep so many people in Thailand poor and uneducated, yet half-Chinese Girl can only see westerners who ‘take advantage’ of them. There was a remarkable and revealing letter recently in the Bangkok Post from a westerner with a Thai girlfriend who had raised her kid after the father did the usual vanishing act. This kid attended a school that suddenly demanded that he and the other students have a new pair of smart and comparitively expensive shoes within three days or they could not attend school. This particular woman sold chicken off a stall in the street and couldn’t afford the shoes, so the boy was banned from attending school and denied an education. I wrote to Stick about this, and he said it was all too common. Such attitudes, and that is one of the things that led to the recent Red Shirt protests, results in so many uneducated girls ending up having to sell their body. But half-Chinese Girl chooses, instead of looking at the deeper issue, to lash out at foreigners who put much-needed money in their pocket, something their own country cannot do.

Of course many of the people that go with bargirls are scum and look pathetic, and of course some of the girls they choose to go with are far from the legendary Thai beauty. By the way, saying that Thai women are not beautiful is such a pathetic statement that it shouldn’t even be acknowledged. Of course there are sensational-looking women in Thailand, as there are in every country in the world. Some cultures prefer a particular look, of course, that leaves others baffled. But, again, that – going with people that appear to be an odd mix – applies the world over. Not everyone can marry Miss World. Those with money attract the best looking women, everywhere. I, through my job, know many multi-millionaires, and I know they are no Mr Universe – far from it – and they don’t have magnetic personalities either. But quite a few have stunning wives or girlfriends. Why? Money. There are frequently stories in the press about ageing rock stars with girls young enough to be their daughter. Why should Thailand be any different.

Listen, 23-year old who has a good education and security and a nice job and who knows that tomorrow she can eat a decent meal, you have absolutely no idea what drives these P4P girls to do what they have to do to survive. Some of them live in leaking shacks open to the weather and mosquitoes and snakes, with no running water or way of cooling off from the 40 degree weather. I know. I’ve seen. Has half-Chinese Girl ever taken the trouble to speak to any of these girls, to ask them why they sell themselves, what motivates them to get into bed and suck-off a complete stranger? As she acknowledges, many of their customers are not exactly the greatest advertisement for humanity, yet these girls have little choice but to go with whoever offers them money. Because they need to eat, they need to feed the child they have been left with, and they have so few other avenues open to them. Would half-Chinese Girl like to put herself in their position? Yet she condemns those who pass a little money their way and calls them losers.

What half-Chinese Girl fails to understand, because she lives on a different, much more comfortable planet to these girls, is that they are looking for money and security, a dream of somewhere decent to live and someone to take care of them better than any Thai has managed to do so far in their impoverished life. And the men, the ‘losers’ according to half-Chinese Girl, are looking for someone to care for them too. For many reasons they might not be able to find that in their own country. In the west, women very often don’t need men to care for them. They are independent, emotionally and financially. I'd guess that half-Chinese Girl is. They can be choosy. Nothing wrong with that. But it does mean that many men who fail to be recognised as Mister Perfect are going to struggle to find someone for themselves, someone who will show them affection and appreciation for the attention they offer.

Many, many of these men are decent, upright citizens, and just because they choose to look for a young companion doesn’t make them losers. Ask any woman in the west and, if they are honest, they will admit to wanting to find a rich, handsome man. Mostly, they have to make do with what they can find, because there are not enough Mr Universes to go around. In the same way, not every man is able to find his dream girl where he lives. But having someone shower them with the affection they and every human wants, even at a price, takes them a little closer to what they naturally desire. True, they are paying and the relationship is often superficial, but if that is the best they can achieve it still doesn’t make them losers. It just means they are less successful than others.

Yes, Thailand does attract plenty of riff-raff. Again, half-Chinese Girl might ask why that might be and direct her anger elsewhere. Of course many of the couples look pathetic. But it has fuck-all to do with half-Chinese Girl or anyone else who looks down on them and who knows absolutely nothing about them or their circumstances. It is up to them, and no one else. They are each giving the other something they need, pathetic though you feel that might be. Life sometimes leads you down that path, in the same way that some people are able to live in a mansion in the countryside while others have to live in a cramped apartment by elevated railway tracks in the Bronx. Or a leaky shack in Issan. Some can drive to work in a nice shiny car (half-Chinese Girl?), while others have to climb onto crowded buses or walk. Sometimes their problems are of their own making, sometimes not. No one is perfect. Half-Chinese girl has been lucky, but she needs to learn a little humility and realise that some people need help rather than contempt. And that who they chose to mix with and what they do has absolutely nothing to do with her.

Stickman's thoughts:

For me, this is probably the best and most balanced reply to half Chinese Girl so far.