Losers’ Arguments – Broken Down
So, I have also read a fair number of submissions to Stick, especially those which are variations on the theme “Fond Memories of Purchasing Vaginas”. Although I do favor the counter-genre “Not so Fond Memories of Your Dick”, of which a prime example is Somaly Mam’s “The Road of Lost Innocence”.
I have found myself in agreement with most points in “Reality Check”, “Loser’s Paradise”, and the statement that every respectable person on this planet thinks that sex tourists and sexpats are disgraceful, vulgar losers.
I would like to suggest that many of these losers, deep down, actually know they’re losers. They sense their own animalism, they realize their perceptions have been deformed by their own anger and hatred, they know that they can’t relate to anything other than their own physical sensations. I believe that quite a few do get surges of shame and guilt. The most blatant proof of this is the amount of indignant responses that Half-Chinese Girl has generated. Half-Chinese girl and Jayson have come out and said out loud what sexpats anxiously try to hide from themselves, having put so much effort in disguising their own shame and guilt so that it is unrecognizable even to themselves. Reading the responses to Half Chinese Girl, I had a good chuckle imagining these dudes, staring red-faced at the words on their computer screen, then feverishly hammering on the keyboard, trying to coherently express Why WhoreMongering should be Respected, Celebrated and Envied. Uh… no.
Here is a breakdown of the arguments that sexpats use to fool themselves into self-respect. You will notice, I’m sure, that they are all based on the same enlightened idea: “Everyone sucks except me and the girl who is –um- sucking me tonight”.
– Nobody understands anything and everyone is stupid –except me! Because I have the key to understanding prostitution in Thailand! Even though I can’t read/speak Thai!
So, for example, Half Chinese Girl is just ‘too young’ to understand. Prostitution in Thailand, well it’s a cultural thing, it’s ok! The sexpats and sex tourists will be the first one to giddily send you articles saying that “Most Bangkok prostitutes not forced into prostitution”. Prostitution in Thailand is not like in the West; you see! To fully make this argument, the sexpats need to deny a bit of the whores’ individuality. “No, she doesn’t want better than a fat dude like me. She likes it. No, she doesn’t like those buff Thai men. This is what she’s always dreamed of, spending her waking hours in dark rooms filled with smoke and alcohol, and then sucking my stinky dick”.
– Nobody understands anything and everyone is stupid –except me! Because I have the key to understanding What it’s like in the West! You see, Western women are mean, mean, mean! They scare me!
Yes, the sexpats are shitting themselves with the fear of having their delicate balls ripped off by feminists. You understand, it’s such a scary place back in the West because the WOMEN there!! Oh my. These women, they’re assertive! AND they have choices! AND they have more money than me! AND more education! AND a cooler car! These losers are totally destabilized when they meet such women. Personally, I have met many strong Western women and I have never felt intimated or weak in their presence. But these dudes are totally unsettled by the smallest display of female liberation. It’s unbearable! Why aren’t things like in the 50s- how dare those broads demand equality!
Shaking with hatred, the sexpats will bond over self-pitying stories of Being Mistreated by Western Women. They generally go like this: “So one day, I invited this chick to dinner and then insisted to pay the bill. Then we went to her place and I told her “lick my dick” and can you believe what she said? She said “no way”! What? That bitch! She actually thought that I’d asked her out for conversation!! Haha, as if! Doesn’t she get it: I really don’t do female friendships, women are only good as cum recipients”. Having recounted their horrible experiences of mistreatment – everyone knows that straight white men are the least privileged group on earth, taking only 90% of economic and political power- the losers then praise each other for being Such Smart Guys. What makes them so smart, you ask? Well, having moved to a country where women don’t have equal rights and opportunities! And, getting their dick licked- finally.
– And Thai men are mean too! They don’t know how to treat a “lady”, not like us! We are the shit and Thai women really want it!
After a good dose of Western woman bashing, add a fair amount of Thai man bashing. You can get your Thai whore to participate in this bashing too, it’s really fun, and then you can congratulate each other on being so superior to these Thai men and Western women! So much smarter! So much more advanced! These Thai men, they’re just worthless pieces of shit compared to me!
Having spat out his contempt, the sexpat mobilizes all his brain neurons to try to prove why it’s a really good thing that he’s here, in Thailand. There are 2 stages to his argument: first, present Thai women as helpless victims of mean and bad Asian men. Then, proceed to dehumanize and infantilize the girl. Use Orientalist rethoric reminiscent of imperialistic, colonizer enterprises: characterize Thai girls as backward, childlike, incapable of defining herself. She is a passive, exotic creature just waiting to be taken.
Second, enter a pseudo-intellectual theory about cost/investment and Bigger Better Deals that will demonstrate that You are the Shit! By renting her pussy, you’re really the greatest thing that could happen to her and she should really thank your penis.
– But I love her!
So, in his Viagra-fueled sweaty frenzy, the sex tourist has found “true love” in the backstreets of Bangkok with a girl who’s had 5 years of schooling.
The “dialogue” parts of the Fond Memories of Purchasing Vaginas submissions, give a good idea of what’s to love. For one, these dudes are super-charmed by the girls’ speech: “You make happy me?” “No have” “Go home now?”. So cute, isn’t it? You cannot imagine how boner-inducing it is to speak with a girl who has the verbal development of a 9year old. The second thing to love is the slut-clothes, generally described quite in detail. “When I first saw the black g-string with fake diamonds, I knew she was my kind of girl.” Third, just like in the Asian porn he’s been jacking off to, she will coo and ooo on demand! Well, this is a pretty good product, he thinks.
In the early boner stages, the dude may go delusional and proceed to setting-on-the-pedestal his Fetishized Whore, and spreading over the internet the Great News that: “She’s the embodiment of pure good and innocence, because, she’s like, giving her vagina to me!!”. Proceed to put a Facebook picture of self with whore, and hope that the back-patting comments will pour in. You can brag that you negotiated a damn cheap price, too! As brilliantly explained by Half Chinese Girl, the pedestal is not really about the girl, it’s all about the sexpat seeking homosocial approval, looking for his fellow males to declare “you’re not a loser anymore” (but you still are).
The sad thing is… the sexpat is so in love with himself already, that he can never feel real love for his whore. Add to that the fact that the sexpat chose his place of dwelling according to his dick, and it becomes obvious that he is stuck in adolescent lust. Add to that the deep misogyny intrinsic in the act of purchasing women, and it becomes clear that the sexpat doesn’t actually know how to love women at all.
– But others are doing it too! This is so unfair, you blaming only Farangs! Boohoo!
Poor Western sex tourists feel discriminated against, victim of finger-pointing. Stomping his fist on the table, he declares: “But 90% of customers are Thai men in this prostitution industry! We are being unfairly accused!” Wait a minute… are 10% of the country’s population foreigners? No. So, according to your own statistic, Farang men are using prostitutes more than Thai men!! Argument self-defeated: playing Connect Four doesn’t actually improve your math skills. But still, the sexpat doesn’t understand why he gets more blame then local men! This is where the deep ignorance of most sexpats becomes completely blatant. The whole neo-colonial symbolic dynamic is totally lost on them.
– But… I can’t see no difference between free sex and transactional sex!
The above statement is the child of patriarchal capitalism meeting third-world misogyny. The defenders of this argument basically believe that: “Women should behave in a way that enhances my visual pleasure. Then they will act as I wish for my sexual pleasure, because I am ENTITLED, and I DESERVE to access their pussies!!”. This is a Phallocracy, they think, and their dick should be crowned king.
So, there is no difference between dinner with a woman who’s an independent woman with options, and with a woman who’s dependent on your sympathy for survival!? I will tell you the difference, smug losers who pretend you don’t see it, so READ CAREFULLY: one woman can walk away if you act like a dick, the other can’t. This is the difference. But for you, you pathetic sexpats, you don’t care about this. It is not relevant. It does not matter (except, I’m guessing, if the woman is your daughter). All that matters to you is whether dinner will be followed by sex. The clear reality of the situation is: the sex tourists and sexpats are taking advantage of the poverty and misery of young girls for their own entertainment. They are self-satisfactorily reaping the benefits of racism, global economic inequalities, and sexism in Thai society. “Losers” is too kind a word to describe them.
I am currently outside Bangkok and pressed for time. A lot of submissions have come in responding to the half-Chinese Girl's two articles and I want to get them up online quickly. I would prefer to take the time to read through these articles and comment but that is time I just don't have at the moment. It's a case of either publish without comments, or not publish for a few days. I have decided to publish. My apologies for no comments appearing.