There’s More To Life Than Looks

Personally, I came from a family in Canada with a humble background. My father was a factory worker and my mother a part time housewife. I spent my youth growing up around the melting pod of the Great Lakes with Italians, Indians (Eastern and Native), Swedes, Germans…you name it. After a short stint with the factory life I decided to move to the US for a little more opportunity. I went to school, learned a trade and made something better of my life. I am 56 years old now and can honestly say I have met people from all walks of life. A WW I air ace, a very famous rock & roll female singer, a well known philosopher as well as people with what you might say is an ulterior life style (basically, riding the rails). I have learned something from all of them. But only because I kept an open mind.

Let me first say that in Buddhism, comparison is such great suffering. No good can come of it. As stated by some…to hell with other people's opinion. Who is to judge who or what is beautiful. I personally think it’s a very shallow approach to life. Reading the many hundreds of submissions here, I always laugh when I read a piece where the writer first describes himself. Like to prove he is not some kind of loser. “I’m a middle aged to young man of above average looks with all my hair and work out 5 days a week”…Please! Somehow these people elude me when I am in the LOS. Instead I see average farang, a little haggard, a little overweight and a little lonely. Of course I am not describing myself. I’m an above average male with above average looks who attracts the above average Thai woman…yeah, right! And why is it when I meet my male counterpart in Bangkok, he always use to be in the special forces, a CIA agent or the likes. Let’s face it, we are who we are. Br yourself and you will probably be much happier.

After my second trip to Thailand, I made it a point to get out of BKK as soon as possible. I have had a couple of long term girlfriends here. It was always a struggle. The first one spoke perfect English, came from a very poor family but was well educated. Not sure she would fit into any of Jayson’s lists. We were together for 3 years. The reason it failed? I was 20 years her senior. I always felt I would end up holding her back. I walked away. Unfortunately things did not work out well for her when I did. She found a Japanese/American serviceman who impregnated her and left. Although she was well educated, she chose to move to Pattaya and open some type of brothel. I only know this because of an email she sent asking for money when it was in trouble. I feel bad but not responsible. It was her choice. Just as it is each of our choices to do what we feel is best for us. Two years later I met Yuanjai, a woman close to my age who spoke very little English and came from a small village outside a small town. After 2 years together, I ended it as I had no idea what was going on between us. That was because I spoke nid noi Thai. As stated in a recent submission, if you want to change your outlook on Thailand, learn the language. Unfortunately most, I’d say 80%, of us go to Thailand multiple times for a few weeks at a time. We want to have fun and have very little time to learn the language. Pood pa sa Thai nid noi. Perhaps that is why most end up in the bars? Since I have been abstinent from alcohol and other substances for 30 years, I avoid these places. That’s not to say that I do not partake in the nightlife a little bit.

The bottom line for me is I know what Thailand has to offer me. I’m lousy at relationships and I know it. At 56 with 2 divorces and numerous failed attempts to attract anything close to a normal relationship in my life, I just enjoy the experience of a humorous, sometimes loving Thai girl with a sweet smile as we struggle together to communicate the 2 – 3 weeks I am there. Ultimately, I go home with great memories and a smile. I am only saddened that I have not been able to travel there these last few years due to the exchange rate of 32 baht to the US dollar. I will only go when it reaches 36 and above. I have done quite well for myself in life. That is for a blue collar guy. I have a home paid off, no real bills and only 2 heart attacks. My plan is to eventually rent out the house, collect social security (age 62) and move to Thailand. The first thing I will do? Settle into a school to learn Thai. And the second thing I will do? Well…you know what that will be.

So come on guys, let’s get on with life. Let’s hear the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat as we crawl our way through the Land of smiles looking for Her with a capital H.

Yours,

Jake Deadman