Stickman Readers' Submissions May 13th, 2010

Statistics and Readers’ Submissions

The one thing I tire of in some of the readers' submissions is the required need for statistical data. I am one to prefer empirical data. By saying empirical I mean experience! True insight, I feel, is gained from other people's experience. This is the best way to understand the way in which people think, feel, act (even if completely crazy) and do.

If I was to say I interviewed 1000 Thai women and 98% said they would rather date a farang because he has a bigger dick and is better in bed, then Korski may jump on my band wagon and say "Yes, he is correct!" Now, if I said the 1000 Thai women were all bar girls in Pattaya, well then my statistic is skewed. If I said I interviewed 1000 Thai women and 5% said they would date a farang, then maybe another reader would say "Yes, he is correct!" Again, if I said these 1000 Thai women were hill tribe women, then again my statistic is skewed. The fact of the matter is statistics are always skewed. We see this in everyday topics (e.g. Global Warming).

He Clinic Bangkok

It appears the more educated someone may be, they always want statistical analysis. I will use Korski as my example. If I give a one paragraph reason why I may disagree with him, then it is a joke to him. I need to have done 10,000 hours of research, published 7 books, be a guest speaker at 12 universities, written 300 papers, and provide a 200 slide PowerPoint presentation with bar graphs and pie charts to prove a topic that he may disagree with. Well guess what? That is never going to happen! I am a sum of my experiences and my opinions and thoughts come from these said experiences.

A person's story is always worth its weight in gold, whether I agree with their actions or not. There is so much valuable insight in each person's reaction to said events in their life along with the story they are presenting. To me, it is invaluable. Some stories may be repeats, but the actions are always different. How did they handle a good/bad situation? How did they recover? How do they think or feel now? What did they learn? Many of these questions are answered in said story. To dismiss these because I do not agree is just silly.

If someone attacks me personally, then of course, my western attitude is to defend myself and go on the offensive. Sometimes, I must concede, this is the wrong approach and is a product of my upbringing in the US that I can not always hide. Sometimes I do very well with keeping my mouth shut, but other times I simply can not. I think I have gotten better with age because a majority of us become more wise with the years under our belts and know which battles to fight.

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Korski, I was very disappointed in your recent submission as you lost your eloquent ways of writing and used the F* word substantially. Just because someone may not agree with you is OK! Relax brother and move on. I know you are as arrogant as they come, but reducing yourself to petty squabbling is just plain silly. I quite enjoy your articles and hate seeing you reduce yourself to that level. No one has to go on national television and hold court hearings to prove you are wrong. If they think you are wrong, just concede they disagree and move on. Very simple process.

OK, back to empirical data. My experiences have been very positive in Thailand. From bars to companies. From non drinking/smoking/partying Thais to the opposite, of course. From doctors, lawyers, businessmen, etc. I have not come across some of the bad things that readers have listed. I read intently and store for later use if I find myself in one of the previous written bad situations people have found themselves in. I do not judge them, as maybe my actions would be different, but do my best to learn from their submission. I feel I am lucky. I have had the opportunity to meet great people in this wonderful country and hope it continues this way.

Let me give you one recent example. I am currently dating a woman in Bangkok. I live in Chiang Mai. The first time I went to meet her (met online), I had the opportunity to go to dinner with her and 6 of her company friends (all women). She is the only woman in her company who was dating a farang, and yet all of them were so excited to meet me. Their smiles and wais were so genuine, it was unbelievable. They had so many questions for me and even though my Thai is limited and their English is limited we had a great dinner. One was married, another was getting married, and a couple had boyfriends (all Thai). One of the single women even asked if I had a farang friend that she could meet. Was a great evening with local Thai women. At the end I offered to pay (naam jai) and again the smiles and excitement can not ever be truly explained, but is a feeling I hope many can enjoy one day if you have not had this type of situation. My fan told me after that they ask about me everyday. She always asks me why her friends seem to talk about me more than she does. Very comical.

She came to see me during Songkran and we had a great time. I went to Bangkok recently to surprise her. I stay in a hotel one block from her work and a couple blocks from her home. I got to my hotel and called her to say I was there. She called me when her work was done and said a few of her friends wanted to say hi. I go downstairs and her and 3 of the ladies previously came by. They only stayed 2 minutes as they wanted to wai only and just say hello. On the way here one friend said she had to go buy the store first to buy me a bottle of Sangsom. My fan could not believe as well as myself. She presented it to me and I thanked her from the bottom of my heart. I asked the fan why her friend did that? She said her friend knew I like Sangsom and wanted to buy something for me. Wow!

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The previous time I went to visit, I did not go to her home. This second time, however, she asked me to come over. I could not believe the warm reception I received, from the soldiers on the street to her neighbors. Where she lives, they all know each other and the smiles and welcome reception, again, can not be truly explained. We went and bought food because one of the roommates wanted to cook. Well the neighbors joined in and nothing but compliments for me and was another amazing night with all Thai people. One neighbor kept going home to have me try different fruits and snacks she had or had made. Even gave me some alcohol that her and her husband distill over a 4 year period. Again my fan was shocked about all of their behavior. She said she could not believe how they all liked me so much and were so happy for her. Not that they should not like me, but that they went above and beyond what though possible. I would go eat noodles at a neighbor's noodle stand each day. Since being the only farang on that street, all the locals would come by and ask the noodle lady who I was. She would say I was the fan of so and so and they had nothing but smiles.

The point of the above story is just to show that I have had another of many positive experiences that attract me so much to this country. Do I need to have this broken down by a PhD in sociology to explain why this happened? Of course not. I just add it to the sum of my great experiences. Not everything has to have a reason. It is the way it is. We all have had good and bad experiences in life in which I hope many people can learn from. I truly do wish everyone the best experiences and success in life, but unfortunately that does not always happen.

To summarize: I feel statistical data is always skewed and that, in my opinion, empirical data is priceless. Each reader's submission has something to offer, regardless if positive or negative and we should not discount him/her for that. We may counter their submission, but let us not forget that there is to be something learned from anything we may read.

Korski, I used you in this article as my main example as your recent submission was the catalyst for this submission. I would give you one word of advice — Concede! Once and awhile just concede. A great line for you comes from The Waterboy "You can do it!". You can concede and it will not tarnish your reputation.

That's all for now.

Take care gang,


Stickman's thoughts:

The point you make sure resonates with me.

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