Stickman Readers' Submissions April 13th, 2010

Stereotyping Western Women

Somewhere in the world is a man hating, fatigue wearing, hairy arm-pitted, 500 pound uber-bitch hating us simply for being born male. She hates us because we don’t fall in line with her view of the world. She hates us because we put our base desires above hers. She hates us because we fly to Thailand to pay for sex with goddesses. She has become the popular poster child for all females born in the west as of late sparking intense debate on both sides of the issue as some wrestle with the notion of why they can score such hot tail in Asia while coming up dry in their homeland.

When I was 16 I had a job cleaning movie theaters for $4.25 an hour. Batman Forever was playing and it ran in our cinema about as long as its title would suggest. Seal’s title song about kisses and roses became emblazoned in my brain leading to an intense pondering of how the heck did a guy with ground beef for a face get Heidi Klum? If he wasn’t a wealthy entertainer and instead worked cleaning the theaters alongside me would he be swinging from the bed poles with a super model every night? The money bet is no. Speaking of money, chances are it more than likely played more than a modest role in the coupling.

So it is perfectly feasible to assume there is a decent portion of the expat population and frequent visitor population who came to Thailand as a man on the outs with mainstream society in his homeland either unable to get into the love game or on an unpleasant side of it. Our first time visitor is possibly feeling quite depressed in how his life wound up and heard Thailand might have a cure for what ails him. So here he is alone or with a group of friends mulling around the Nana Hotel or somewhere in Pattaya or even Phuket. His life has been spent as a random face in the crowd almost invisible to women. Stepping out onto the street he is like a piece of bread thrown into the river next to the temple and the fish are going wild. He is pulled, prodded, and propositioned his naivety a stench that attracts all manner of female and female-ish attention at a superhuman level a typical Western upbringing cannot prepare one for.

He steps off the plane back in his cold and dull corner of Farangdom and is hit with withdrawal. No longer is he a piece of bread in the river, now he is a stone again ignored and underappreciated. He has seen the light. Thai women are better than Western women! All these years he wasted! He really is a sexy man it was just that all these militant bitches (see paragraph 1) were unable to see it. It took 3rd world beauties to point out to him just how amazing he really is. So he begins dreaming of his return and obsessing over Thailand in any way he possibly can. Ten years later he has an annual trip he takes, a steady girlfriend who worked in a bar but swore she never went with customers and is now living back in her village, and a long list of relatives on the take reveling in his “Nam Jai.” Sure he doesn’t speak a lick of Thai and the love of his life doesn’t know his last name, can’t find his home country on the map, and has no idea what he does for a living, but after 10 years he fancies himself an expert on Thai culture.

So the expert on Thai culture just goes through the motions forever trying to find his escape plan to Thailand and hating the West more and more every day. The victim of his growing hatred is the American woman. She is the one who never appreciated his qualities and made him feel inadequate all those years. All the failings in his life were her fault.

He needs somewhere to turn to with like-minded individuals that will understand him. They surely have similar experiences and can relate to his plight! So he turns on his computer, minimizes the Thai dating sites and even neglecting his latest e-mail money request from his sweetheart to bang out his masterpiece. Surely this will blow the lid off the Western conspiracy and shine the light on the shrill harpy that is the Western woman! Finally it is finished. It is beautiful and perfect with every point being made with expert precision.

Then it is back again to fantasy. He returns to the world as he sees it where he isn’t a loser who is being taken advantage of by a beautiful young Thai. He is Adonis, he is smart, and he is amazing.

To this man whose story I completely fabricated I would say enjoy your life, and do what makes you happy and what makes you feel good, but don’t disparage literally millions of people you have never met because you didn’t develop social skills in your home country.

Stickman's thoughts:

I think there's something in the idea of simply living where you feel happy idea. And for some men, it seems women are a big part of their happiness so the preference for living in Thailand gets stronger.

nana plaza