Stickman Readers' Submissions October 2nd, 2009

Living and Dying in Pattaya

"Andoo, you are nothing but fucking Farang in Thailand."

"No shit" I replied with a laugh, "what does that mean Oon?"

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"Andoo you all alone in Thailand."

"Do you mean Farang kee Noi?"

"I mean that you all alone and I get Thai mafia on you."

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"Well baby, That makes three countries that I have been threatened in and I see a pattern emerging."

I laughed again and left the bar as my former teerak had armed herself with an empty San Miguel bottle and this little exchange had attracted the attention of all the other girls in the bar and they all looked on in interest. Bo asked if she could come with me and Ing and Miow asked when I was coming back to play connect 4. The owner of the bar sat with his friends and watched all this in unsmiling silence I wondered then if I was really in trouble.

Now let me take you to the start of this tale when I had arrived in Sin City the previous week. This was my fourth visit to Thailand and I am in love with the place. I have visited Phuket twice, Bangkok once, Pattaya third time, travelled a little bit but show me a good bar close to a beach with heaps of babes and I am in heaven.

My previous visit to Pattaya laid the scene where I got around with three babes Onn, Bo and Se. The hard nut in the group was Bo who I let go and it was only Oon and Se. Needless to say certain experiences where crossed off my To Do list.

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We got along great, but at the end I had fallen for Se. Oon was a little to calculating and caused me to get scammed at a bar called Cosies. Not a lot of money but it was the principle. I spend money freely, because I work hard for it, I'm here for a good time not a long time, so I am not a cheap Charley and as the girls call me Jai Pam, but I hate getting cheated and am on guard against it all the time. So when I find places where I am treated fairly I tend to return again and again. I sometimes feel that Thailand was made for me and I approach all situations with a smile and mai pen rai attitude. Which is really pretty close to the Australian line of thinking of "she'll be right"

So there has never been a problem for me in LOS. I enjoy playing all the bar games and love a large bag of fried grasshoppers at the end of a big night.

Here is the problem as it developed, I arrived at the airport and negotiated a ride to Pattaya for 800 baht which I thought was OK. Anyway, an hour and half later I was there and I checked into my hotel, a shower and headed for the scene of my previous exploits. The old mamasan, Da was there and greeted me with a big shout of "Andoo Andoo" and a free cold SML as it was only 930 in the morning.

I chatted to her about who was still around and who had left. She told Se had left Pattaya and moved to Bangkok to sell noodles. Oh well, who else was around, Oon was still working, Bo was still around and some others.

Anyway I needed to change some cash, so by the time I got back to the bar, about 6 of the old faces had arrived. I teamed up a girl, So, I had only seen on my last visit and Oon. So with two in tow I headed back to the hotel. The next week was great.

But Oon had turned into a very calculating piece of work. As in when we went for dinner she would order enough that there were leftovers which she would get and take to the bar for the other girls. This irritated me, but as the expense was not great I didn't worry about and we all still had a great time.

Whenever So seemed to say anything Oon would get tense with her and speak rapid Thai that I could not follow but So's demeanour would go from cheerfully extrovert to unsmiling and solemn. This really pissed me off and I tied to discuss this with Oon, he tied to change the subject and said that Se wanted to come down from Bangkok to see me. I said no as I had two girls and that was enough, then Se rang me, Oon had given her my number so I had a good talk and told here I would see here when I went to a Bangkok. She wanted to come to Pattaya but told here no. Oon then said that Se should come down and So should go back to the bar. My response was that if Se came down Oon would be going to the bar and Se and So would stay with me.

I told her I was here to enjoy myself and if anyone messed it up they would be out. This seemed to get under Oon's skin, some how it seemed that she had taken a senior role, none of the other girls came over to talk to me except for the older girls and if some of the younger ones came over there seemed to be harsh words exchanged.

Anyway that night I left the two girls in the hotel and went out drinking with a couple of blokes I knew. On my way home I ran into Bo who started to cry on my shoulder about needing money so I barfined her out and took her to the hotel. The two girls were in bed and then there was three and me. Another good night.

On Sunday we went to the wat and I got the string thing around my wrist but at lunch, Bo went and Oon was back in charge. Now she was irritating me.

That night she had a temper tantrum at the top of second road so I said to go away and calm down. So was very happy with development. So we spent the night playing pool and drinking our way to Walking Street. We both had to turn off our phone as Oon rang continuously. But we had a great time.

The next morning Oon rang and tried to make out it was all So's fault which I was not copping at all, I let her grab her stuff and paid her off, she was absolutely steaming. So laid under the doona and did not move until Oon left.

Once Oon was gone, So bounced around like a new person. We spent the next couple of days just laughing, drinking, eating and having a good time. But we avoided the bar.

Then the phone calls started, Oon rang So continuously, the she started ringing me so I turned my phone off. Then I get a call from reception. Oon was at reception and she had a surprise for me I went down and there was Se, Oon had called her and she had come from Bangkok to be with me as Oon was out.

Oon was smiling and so was Se. They tried to hand over their cards at reception but I stopped them. Oon then started to get up set and demanded to see So. I refused and her voiced started to rise. Se looked shocked and stared at the ground and started to cry. As this was in the foyer of the hotel it was pretty embarrassing.

I told them both to leave and Oon demanded 2000 baht as So owed her this money. I went to my room and got it and gave it to her. So seemed scared. Oon and Se left and as my stay was drawing to a close I thought I better find out what was the problem and sort it out. So I faced the tirade listed at the start of the story.

I went back to the hotel and grabbed So and we went for dinner. We had long meal talked, at the place where we ate there was waitress I was friendly with who translated all that we talked about, her name was Au.

Anyway we went back to the bar and I spoke to the owner, he is a huge Thai guy covered in tatts and gold. He saw me, came over, shook my hand and told me "Andoo, you have no problem here. You no worry, come have a beer."

If looks could kill I would have as dead as fried chicken, That's the look I got from Oon. The main problem was jealousy and loss of face also I was a free spending Farang in a depressed economy which in reality was probably the biggest problem.

Anyway, I paid for So to relocate to her home town and support her.

Oon as far as far I know is still in Pattaya. Looking at all the angles.

Se is back in Bangkok selling noodles.

Bo is still doing what Bo does. Drinking Thai whiskey, smoking and living large.

So is in her home town now which is not in Isaan.

Before anyone says anything about exploiting these women. None of these women were under 26. With the main player being thirty. All were old enough to chose, none were indentured to the bar. When I had So relocated the other girls waved her good bye. All deals that were negotiated were paid.

I treated these women that same as I would treat anyone I take out in a western country.

I suppose the point if there is one to be made from this story is don't cause anyone to lose face and never lose your temper yourself. Treat all situations with patience and good humour no matter what happens.

This only took a 10 out of 10 Holiday to an 8 out of 10.

Stickman's thoughts:

This is the sort of thing I really try to avoid. It just sounds like too much drama, and the sort of thing that can really get in the way of enjoying a holiday.

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