Readers' Submissions

In Defense of Online Chat

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 5th, 2009
  • 7 min read


I met my Thai wife on the internet. I have seen many comments on how unreliable chatting can be for meeting a lady. I think you have a better chance meeting a real Thai girl in a chat room than on a 2 or 3 week holiday in the bar areas of Thailand.

I cut my teeth on the Filipinas as they are everywhere and quite willing to chat. The Thai ladies are (or were) less willing to chat due perhaps to their lesser English skills. I must admit I had a lot of entertaining hours chatting to Filipinas. The biggest problem was that the best one was 23 years younger than me and the second best one was working in Hong Kong as a nanny but had a Netherlands email address so I wasn’t going there! I was all set to go and meet the one 23 years younger than me and then I met my now wife in a Thai chat room. Usually when you click on what looks like a Thai name you get either no answer or very limited English and they don’t reply after 10 or 15 minutes of chat. I put this down to a low level of written English skills. I have since come to understand they really don’t like to go outside their own world much also.

I had visited Thai chat rooms a few times before and there seemed to be little action. I chatted with Filipinas for perhaps six months having a good time. Occasionally, when I finished chatting to my main love interest in the Philippines (she used a café as many Flips do as they have no computer or phone line at home) I would chat with others but usually told them I had a lady but just enjoyed chat. Anyway, one night things were quiet so I wandered back to a Thai chat room. I scrolled through the list of people in the room and saw what looked like a real name as a user name rather than something like hotpussyinbangkok or the like. I didn’t know if it was a guy or a girl but I clicked hello and the rest is history.

If you are interested in the world, other cultures and want to know about where someone comes from, a chat can last a long time with a genuine good lady. If you want her to switch on the cam and show you her pussy you won’t get far. Another big plus about chatting is that you have the time to see what attitudes your love interest has and how she thinks. To me, this is critical. I started chatting to a lot of ladies in a few countries and even as long as three months after meeting them I realized some of them were nuts! When you chat a long time and there is no money involved, you get to learn a lot about someone. Because they aren’t in front of you and they feel safe behind an internet connection, they can start to let their guard down. As an example, one Flip girl I enjoyed chatting to immensely asked me for a loan after chatting frequently for 6 months! Her mother was in hospital supposedly & perhaps she was, but I didn’t have any spare cash & I had no idea how she was going to get the money back to me so I said I was sorry I couldn’t help her. This girl had lost her job recently and I didn’t see her as a good bet. I didn’t see her for a while and when I finally caught up with her she said she managed to find the money in the end. Admittedly, she had invited me to come visit her and when she realized I wasn’t serious about her she disappeared. She was a nice girl, not particularly beautiful but a lovely person.

On the net, as in real life, you have to sort the chaff from the wheat and be patient. I guess I met perhaps a couple of hundred of girls in order to have six to eight regular nice ladies to chat with. This involved many hundreds of hours as the chatrooms tend to be full of crap. If you are new, try to choose a chatname that indicates you are male otherwise you will so many Pakis hitting on you! The flip girls tend to use camera a lot whereas the Thais don’t as much. The flips tend to use internet cafés whereas Thais tend to chat from home or work more. This is mainly due to the fact that in some areas of the Philippines there just isn’t the cable in the street even if they could afford a telephone connection. In my experience I found that there were a large numbers of girls chatting from Mindanao which is quite poor. You will however, find girls from all over the Philippines in lesser quantities.

One thing I noticed with the Filipinas, and I’m sure others do it too, is that they will never directly ask you for money. They will however, tell you of their problems and if you’re good hearted, you will offer to help them out. Their problem may be real or just as likely not, so don’t send money! Remember that the Filipinas generally have different attitudes and perhaps are more poverty stricken than the Thais. Any Thai ladies I’ve chatted to have been very reluctant to discuss any of their problems.

As a guide, avoid girls who start coming on too quick and/or start talking sexy. Respectable Asian girls just don’t work like that. Also, with a bit of experience chatting under your belt, you’ll get to know the words and phrases they use in English, unless they have been to University in the west, be very wary of near perfect English unless they work in a tourist capacity of course. They all tend to use a similar level of English so beware of any major deviation from the norm. If any Thai contact is slow to answer you it’s likely they are consulting a dictionary! My wife tells me that she had a number of guys chatting with her (as we all do) and she said I made the difference because I had patience with her poor English and slow internet connection and we had each other’s telephone numbers. Also, I chatted with her every day and rang her a lot (using a phone card).

Another factor to consider, unless you spend a lot of time in Thailand, you don’t have the means to really get to know a good/nice lady. One thing I have discovered with my wife and perhaps many “good” Thai ladies is that they are almost like the reserved English types, they are brought up to hide their feelings and emotions. A lot of hours of chat can give you the time to get to know her, although even then it can take some time. I found this “reserved” type behavior similar with the Filipinas too. I put it down to the way Asians are. If you are really interested in a girl, online or otherwise, be the perfect gentleman and if you “click” things will get more interesting if the chemistry is right.

I know of at least three guys here married to Thais who met on the internet and they are quite happy. I think two of them met on ThaiLoveLinks. In chat you need to remember there is good and bad. Unfortunately, it’s up to you to figure it out!

Chat mostly takes time, patience and good judgement. I believe there are a number of genuine lovely, lonely ladies out there chatting. If you realize this and realize that it takes some time, you might just find the lady of your life.

Stickman's thoughts:

I've got mixed feelings about online dating. For sure, it is possible to meet relationship-minded women but there are so many guys out there hitting on Thai women online that many are turning their back on it because of bad experiences. Also, you do get a lot of women on there who specifically want a Western guy and I still believe that the best Thai woman has no preference as to the nationality of man she meets – she just wants to meet a genuine good guy.