Readers' Submissions

It’s Not Always About The Money: Part One

  • Written by AM
  • July 21st, 2009
  • 15 min read



Well, here I am writing my submission for all of the followers of Stickman's site. I would like to say I have enjoyed the numerous articles I have read and have also found them to be of great assistance to me with my current situation. I will also add the quality of the submissions is mostly excellent and I will attempt to keep that tradition going.

Many of the articles I have read are concerned with bargirls, street girls etc but I could not find, though my search was not extensive, any stories relating to Thai girls that work in the massage field. Here is my story of just such a girl…

A big beautiful hotel in Bangkok, myself and three friends, age ranges from 28 – 40, two married (myself included) one engaged and one definitely single, four nights and five days, money to spend and freedom to do whatever the hell we wanted to. Freedom was relative though given the company I was keeping and married men are not supposed to play around, right?

We all arrived at Bangkok Airport at 2 AM and went to the hotel. Single guy was boasting the entire taxi ride about how many Thai girls he was going to have and that he would start right away at the hotel. We all of course told him to relax and take it easy but deep down we all wanted what he was about to have. Anyway, day one consisted of big breakfast and big bragging around single guy's exploits with his first "Sexy Massage". No sex but apparently the massage came with a very 'happy ending'. I couldn't work out how after the flight from Sydney that after about 20 hours of not sleeping he could even think of happy endings. Oh well, he is the 28 year old I guess and no I am not the 40 year old.

I did not pay much attention as I was enjoying my breakfast, my freedom, the joys of travelling and being OS and the company of my friends. I have travelled throughout Asia with girlfriends and one wife over the years and have always loved that part of the world. Though on those trips I was with someone so apart from the odd quick glance at Miss Thailand or Miss Vietnam that appear everywhere, I never gave the idea of actually 'doing something' much thought. Until now…

We had never gone away as a group before and none of us are the typical 'boys night out crowd'. Don't get me wrong, we are not all a bunch of hand bags! We love our cars and sport etc but just didn't get into that footy team beer and bbq side of things. We enjoyed other interests and each of us have our own passions. Doing the 'guy' or more appropriately 'bloke' thing (I am an Aussie in case you hadn't worked it out) was always low on the priority list.

The part of my brain controlled by my Jack Johnson or otherwise known as the dark side, was very keen to meet someone in Bangkok, even just once. I have never paid for sex before and have always thought of it as a no no. The part of my brain controlled by Luke, Han, Obiwan, Yoda etc was strictly telling me to remember what you have at home, remember these girls are sold by their parents, have been sexually abused as children and as adults, have AIDS, have numerous STI (not the WRX type as pointed out by another submitter) and that to engage with these girls is further promoting the industry of abuse.

This battle within the brain ensued for a number of days. By the morning of day two, Mr Engaged guy had informed the breakfast table that he had had a massage last night and began to describe the sequence of events in great detail and of course I was listening attentively to try and catch a name just in case Darth won the abovementioned battle. He described a beautiful 24 year old with long dark hair, beautiful body, gorgeous smile and apparently a very lovely person. He relayed her story that she was from somewhere near Chiang Mai and that she came to Bangkok to study however that fell through. She found work in retail and at the same time found a boyfriend. This boyfriend as the relationship progressed, began to physically abuse her, garner her wages and eventually demanded she hand over the money she had saved for her studies. She escaped but was homeless, penniless, isolated and emotionally destroyed. Mr Engaged guy did say she gave him a fantastic massage with all the trimmings but I could tell he had really been touched in the non-physical way by her story. He enquired as to how much she made from the massage and discovered that she received a pittance from the actual massage but obviously, made her money from the 'sexy' component and I understand the overlords took a piece of that as well. Mr Engaged guy offered her another 1000 baht to 'help' her, money for nothing basically or possibly a guilt payment. She refused. He offered again. She refused it again. He offered her 500 baht. Again she refused. It was not until Mr Engaged guy begged her to take the 1000 baht that she took it and began to cry.

We all sat at the table a bit gobsmacked. This was not what we were expecting. Certainly, from what I have read on Stickman, refusal of money by Thai women on the game so to speak is uncommon if not unheard of and her story was also not what we were expecting. Some of you may think that her story was a scam and that what she did is part of her game plan. However, apparently she was out the door 5 metres down the hallway with Mr Engaged guy begging she take it before she did. If that's her game plan then she should take a seat at an international poker tournament-talk about a bluff!

So, day two consisted of walking the malls, the streets, Googling the beautiful Thai women, imagining what we could get up to in Bangkok, fighting off the tuktuk guys, speaking the international language of 'calculator' with all of the shop vendors and generally having a great time in the company of great mates. Our nights were fairly quiet and we were all smashed (tired) by the end of the day. Single guy and Mr Engaged guy headed out for Patpong whilst myself and the other married guy went to bed.. Having been to Patpong a number of times with a partner there was no going into the bars and I was quite proud that I had not done so. -I thought I would keep that record unbroken given the circumstances that have seen most of the girls working there.

Breakfast day three – Single guy and Mr Engaged guy are now relaying their exploits which surprisingly did not involve any ping pong balls. But rather, more beautiful Thai girls offering "sexy massages" in their hotel rooms at 3am.

I could not stand it any longer.

Thailand may one day be renamed to Temptationland as I had succumbed to the situation, the freedom, the beauty of Thai women and my realisation that who I had at home really wasn't that interested (more on that later).

So I planned to have an early night on night three and order my slice of heaven, my holiday romance that I had never had before and to just let myself go. I called the number and I was told an oil massage was 900 baht. No problem I said 'ok girl come to your room in 10 minnet'. I had showered, shaved and after-shaved etc and sat there waiting like a nervous school boy who was about to get laid for the first time. In comes D and she was stunning. 25, dark-skinned, tall for a Thai, hair pulled up in a bun and had her very cute masseuse uniform on. I could barely speak. Don't get me wrong, I'm no wall flower and have had my share of hotties back home. But D was something else and here's me and her in my room and all that stands between myself and heaven is a few thousand baht.

I nervously said "umm like do you give sexy massage" and she states "scu me". I'm now thinking I have been given the only girl that actually gives a real massage and what must she be thinking of me! What a low life! I said it again and she said "ok sure I know, yes I do, sit down what you like?" I said what can we do? She said "ok we can make love" I jumped in "oh no, no make love" and she said "yes ok I no make love to customer anyway not intercourse but hand relief and kissing" I said "beauty that's it, that's exactly what I want".

So we got down to business and to be honest it was great but not what I was expecting. It was however just what I wanted. She barely spoke and despite my best attempts to tell her this was the first time I had done something like this and that I was not like other farangs, it all ended quite abruptly. I wanted her to think I was different, but I never got the chance. I thought to myself well that was what it was. Put in the memory banks, tell yourself you had lived it up in Bangkok and get on with your life. <That is NOT living it up in Bangkok! Email Dana or Chiang Mai Kelly for a definition of living it up in BangkokStick>

Morning of day 4 I tell no one at breakfast what I had done. I felt guilty. Not about the cheating part but I was racked with guilt for what I had done with D and how she must have been feeling. Me being a dumb ass just couldn't let it go. By mid afternoon I had convinced myself that this is her gig and she will be fine with it and was paid well. By mid-afternoon I was convinced that I had no interest in doing it again. However that was all about to change.

By 6 pm of the last night I had decided I had to see D again. I had to let her know I was different and I had to know if what we had done made her unhappy. I called the number again to see if she was working and to my excitement she was. I told her I'd call back in a few hours. My plan was as follows: sit her down, ask if her this made her unhappy and particularly what we had done (which was quite tame by Thailand standards) and if she said yes it did make her unhappy then I would hand over the same amount of money and ask for nothing but to have a coffee with me for an hour. If she did not want to have coffee then I was going to give her money and wish her all the best. If she was happy and ok, then I would ask her for the same as the previous night.

She came into the room, this time smiling and stated she was happy that I had asked for her. I sat her down and asked her the question and gave her the option of not having sex and earning 2500 baht to have a coffee with me. She looked at me and smiled and said "I happy, I like you, I like how you care of me last night" She then said "I have coffee with you no problem and we make love". Wow I thought, this is great. So we began as the night before however this time she did things not done the previous night. To my absolute surprise she asked me if I wanted to make love to her, not hand relief but intercourse. I said yes and so we did (protected of course). It was beautiful and unforgettable. It was love making, not shagging. We kissed and we made love and we laughed and yes we did have a coffee afterwards and a really nice talk albeit slightly difficult as I speak no Thai and her English is rudimentary. I said to her I want to email you. She said ok no problem. I gave her my email and she walked out the door. <Oh GOD! You're going to marry her, aren't you?!Stick>

Morning of Day 5. Again at breakfast I tell no one. I can barely speak. I have 6 hours left in Bangkok. What do I do? I have a sudden pang of fear after breakfast as I realise I have given her my password to the email and not the email address. I freak out thinking this is going to be one of those 'lose the love of your life moments'. I race up to my room and call the number again. No luck. She's not there. I think of putting it in an envelope and getting someone to give it to her but I fear she will not receive it let alone the fact that I don't know how to spell or pronounce her name properly. I decide to wait and try again.. One hour to go before I leave I call and she's there. I meet her outside of the room and she comes up. She's smiling and she says "I so happy you want see me before you go" I explain my mistake and hand her an envelope with the correct address and 500 baht. She has a small tear in her eye and thanks me. As we're being 'watched' I say goodbye and she begins to walk backwards, holds her fingers up to her lips and blows the most beautiful kiss with a tear-laden smile.

My taxi ride and my plane ride back to Sydney were consumed with thoughts of D. How could I resume my normal life again? How could I be without her? When can I come back? Will she email me? I'll have to forget about her but how?

I get home and with regards to my other half it's like I never went. Great, you're back now do this and do this etc. WW3 erupts and I start into a deep depression. I realise my wife and I are not in love and have not been for quite some time. This acknowledgement devastates me as we were once very much in love. I know having just done what I had done was an unfair comparison to my current marital situation but the time with D made me realise that ultimately my temptations in Thailand were directly related to my failing marriage. I had recurring thoughts of D. I had thoughts about my failing marriage, thoughts about my inability to connect with my wife on any passionate and emotional level.. My wife and I had become flatmates at best, with no bond to bind us other than the creation of a beautiful child. This alone was not going to sustain me.

Three days after my return I check my email and see D has sent me an email that very day I left asking me to contact her. My life was about to get very complicated…

So I hope you have enjoyed part 1 and if you would like to know the rest please let me know through the Stickman ( I am not sure how it works, maybe I just submit Part 2?).

My intention in writing this was as a form of therapy for me but also to provide the readers with a different perspective. The girls in this story were working girls but different to all the other girls I have read about in Stickman. I know you can fake tears but at what point can scams and games be confused with genuine emotion? I know the answer is when you keep sending them money etc and that you find out that they have twenty other boyfriends. In my case, Part 2 is testament that it is not a scam. Getting on my high horse here and certainly from what I have read on Stickman I am preaching to the converted but please, to all the men who take trips to Thailand and who visit working girls be they bar girls, massage whatever, please respect them, please be kind to them and take your time with them-who knows you may just have a beautiful experience like I did. I put myself forward for your judgement and your ridicule and I know my approach to the whole thing is unique and possibly idealistic however it worked/is working for me. Finally, it was my absolute intent in this story to demonstrate a side of Thai working women where as I have titled this piece, that's it's not always about the money!

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Yes, just send part 2!

Ummm, but I hate to tell you one thing. D bonked you just like she did Chiang Mai Kelly and Dana and me and Caveman and Korski and cripes, even the Holt went with her (but she said he was absolutely no good at all!)

This girl is NOT different! Many a man has thought that and it has been downhill for a long time until they have finally come to their senses. You're vulnerable, have been neglected by your wife for too long and she treated you nicely. But it was NOT about you. It was just a job for her…and sorry to piss on your parade, but it IS about the money! Forget that at your peril!

Agree with you 100% that these girls have a pretty icky job and they deserve to be treated nicely. 99% of the readership would be in agreement, I am sure.