Which Thai Girl to Marry at Fifty…
Oh dear, one recent submission on Phet's trials and tribulations resulting from marrying a Thai lady, was rather harsh. Phet came across to me (a fellow engineer, as it happens) as intelligent with a high-powered job in the engineering world who at least made several attempts to woe Western ladies. He was also well integrated within his own society rather than being a loner with a grudge against the world (which would describe myself quite well). His only real sin that he was nearly fifty when he started his Thai adventure. To be fair to his critics, it is not clear if he is a well preserved fifty or a more typical example of the breed that turns up in Pattaya.
Not that it would, in the end, make much difference. Before giving in to marriage, Phet managed to produce a well written, amusing series of articles that took us to some diverting segments of Thai society, not just the more obvious bar scene. He then rather sprung the marriage on us, somewhat embarrassed, I thought, with the sudden change in direction – I suspect his friends had tried to warn him off but like many before he thought his lady was different or at least open to change.
As a long term inmate of the asylum, one point that has to be made, is that Thai women can be obviously lovely on the surface. I had a five year relationship with a lady twenty years my junior and took her every year to the UK for a month or so – and as with Phet's lady she charmed everyone she came into contact with. Friends and family could not understand why I did not marry her, etc.
On many levels she was quite malleable, happy enough to change her dress sense to something much more conservative, completely desert the bar scene and generally fill my life with joy. But beneath that, her fundamental core belief was that she was Thai and had to behave in a certain way to stay in good stead with her family… and Thai husband!
I tried every trick in my twenty year worth's of Oriental experience to dislodge the latter Thai lout but in the end I concluded that she would rather die than give up her Thai husband, who only made sporadic appearances to make sure his investment was still safe. She never admitted to the Thai husband but her point of view was if I wanted 100 percent commitment I should marry her and see what happens… my reply that it would be a lot cheaper and easier to shoot myself did not go down too well.
So in the end, I gave up on her, having lost about a quarter of a million baht in some land in her name but enjoyed five years of free, mind-blowing sex – I managed to get her up to the proficiency of a triple x rated porn star – damn hard work but someone has to do it!
The latter no-holes-barred sex (to get crude about it) ensnared her next (much richer) patron in about ten minutes, poor bugger does not know what has hit him. Another point worth noting, the apparent sweetness and sexuality enjoyed by Western men of a certain age is not unique, the Thai woman able to transfer it in an instant to her new beau. Conversely, the same rip-offs, lies and deceptions would take place even if you were younger and had a passing resemblance to Tom Cruise. So a lot it somehow should not be taken personally however much it seems like a moment of personal destruction.
I would gently suggest that Phet's wife's machinations have all the signs of having a Thai husband in the background. By Thai husband I mean someone who is considered to be her soulmate, the actual legal paperwork of no concern. And this is serious, because even taking a Thai wife to the UK for five, ten years, when she comes back the first thing she is going to do is go running to her Thai husband (who will be waiting for the big pay-off so don't expect him to do a disappearing act – and if you want to experience rage at its finest deliver the woman with not a baht to her name).
I could go on at length on the means of sussing the presence of a Thai husband in the background but as I am sure this site is read by many Thai b-gals looking to arm themselves to deal with farang <I highly doubt that – Stick>, I shall keep such secrets to myself to ensure that they will keep working. Basically though, you are dealing with two Thai females in one who say completely different things and act in completely different ways depending on who they are with; and are completely believable to both because everything they say is related to the particular moment of time in which they exist. Other than violence (and a resulting long prison sentence or monetary bankruptcy) there is absolutely no way of breaking through this impasse.
When I was 29 I lived with a 19 year-old Thai girl; when I was 46 I lived with a 26 year-old Thai gal and now I am 52 I am looking for someone thirty years my junior. I do not believe, as illustrated by Phet's tale, that choosing a woman much nearer my age will have any benefit in the way I am treated, and with all the baggage she will bring with her, I do not believe that it will save me any money.
So I may as well enjoy the taut body and easy happiness of someone in their early twenties from the province of Isarn. I am looking for someone who can barely handle a mobile phone, gets a headache at the thought of going anywhere near a computer, barely speaks a word of English and was thrown out of school at about fourteen… and part of the fun will be getting her to speak enough English, expanding her sexual boundaries and going along for the ride until I either win her heart or she turns nasty, the latter much more likely given the age and cultural differences. But I can rent out my house in the UK and live off the proceeds whilst it all goes down and can not think of a better alternative.
Meanwhile, a Buriram lass of 23 has just phoned me and told me she is popping in for the night and I surely won't begrudge her the 1000 baht for long time sex. As many who marry Thai women find out, cheap at twice the price… and as to Phet, sorry to say it, even if you get her up against the wall under threat of ending the marriage and she agrees to starting again, it will only last long enough to placate you before the same stuff starts repeating itself again and again – cut your losses, mate! So if you are fifty and want to marry a Thai gal the answer as to which to chose should by now be obvious!
I have to admit that I never did consider the possibility in Phet's case that there was a Thai man in the shadows…