A Great Education
When I found Stickman's Reader's Submissions a few months ago, I read a lot of submissions and they provided a great education.
Here is a summary of some things I found really important for middle aged men.
1. Both Men and women will always try to increase their sexual attractiveness. Women through looks, men through power.
By going to poorer countries, men increase their sexual attractiveness tremendously. Women use their sexual attractiveness to try to catch a man best suited to meet her biological needs. Men try to increase their attractiveness to have sex with the most attractive women possible.
2. All's Fair in Sex and War. Women exploit men. Men exploit women. In sex, women exploit men far more than men exploit women.
To poor women, it is all about the money. Women often use sex and the GFE to extract as much money from sex and GFE starved men as possible.
3. The GFE (Girl Friend Experience) or LOVE is a TEMPORARY experience, brought on by certain chemicals activated in your brain, when you meet someone who meets your biological needs. It is nature trying to get you to attach yourself to a female and produce children.
The GFE can be duplicated many times. The GFE DOES NOT need to end in marriage.
Do not think GFE or love is permanent. That is an illusion.
Do not even consider marriage until after the GFE has faded.
See Korski's "Men Who Fall in Love With Hookers Are Clinically Sick".
"Now what is never admitted, or even really known about in any rational or quasi-scientific sense in this new life with an alien hooker from a largely unknown culture, is that the man is, in fact, clinically sick. He is sick in the same sense that a schizophrenic or a person suffering from chronic depression or bi-polar disorder is sick. There is a chemical imbalance in his brain, just as there is with schizophrenics and the millions, tens of millions of people worldwide, who suffer from chronic depression. But unlike people everywhere with mental illnesses that we now know are principally the result of brain chemistry imbalances rather than problems rooted in twisted childhoods and bad parents, it never occurs to the farang madly in love with a Thai hooker that he could be sick in the very same way as mental patients are sick. Love is, in fact, a sickness that looks a lot like someone with a compulsive—obsessive disorder, or one seriously addicted to the most dangerous drugs known. Love is a sickness that can commonly last in rather severe form for a period ranging from twelve to eighteen months."
4. Marriage is a institution that binds men to women after the sex and GFE fade. It is heavily weighted in favor of the woman.
It exacts harsh punishment on the man if he decides to break the contract. It has everything to do with protection of the woman and children.
It has nothing to do with sex and GFE.
5. Men engage women for three things. Sex, GFE and marriage / children.
You can have great sex and you can have a great GFE, but they are both TEMPORARY states. THEY WILL NOT SURVIVE MARRIAGE and children.
Why does sex fade in marriage? See Raymond's Relationship rules.
Rule number 2. "The first time a man has sex with a woman, is in fact the beginning of the end of the relationship, or at the very least, the beginning of the eventual end of good sex within the relationship. The end may be one day away, or be postponed by the sex getting better with practice for a limited time, or survive on habit and boredom for 30 years, but the end is inevitable. This is because to a man, conquering a woman is like conquering Mount Annapurna – you want to ‘mount’ it so as to get to the top. When you do, you look around and say – ‘Wow – look at Mount Everest over there – I simply have to climb that!!’, so you dismount that mountain and go and conquer another more challenging one!"
Why does the GFE and LOVE fade in marriage? Here is Raymond's Relationship Rule Number 13.
"It took me 40 years of adult life, 4 marriage ceremonies and 3 divorces, (yes I renewed the vows with one of them – wasn’t that sweet but futile!), and some very detailed self analysis, to finally figure out WHY we men ultimately fail in our attempts at medium or long term relationships with one woman.
Like Einstein’s revelations, it's actually quite simply expressed.
It’s all to do with the one thing that’s even more certain in life than death and taxes – CHANGE !!!!
When we males are "in-love" with a woman, we are TOTALLY blinded and unaware that we are operating under several MASSIVE delusions:
– that NOTHING in the relationship is EVER going to change or,
– that the loving couple can cope with any such changes – an equally MASSIVE delusion!
i.e. The sex will always be as good as it is ‘now’, the woman will always look as attractive as we view her as being ‘now’, our (much over-emphasized) ‘common interests’ will ALWAYS remain mutual, our life priorities will NEVER change, children and mortgage and job stresses will NEVER affect OUR relationship, OUR sets of parents can never possibly affect OUR relationship (unlike everyone else’s!), ad-infinitum.
The sad reality is that EVERY single one of these factors changes, some within weeks of marriage, let alone over 5 to 10 years, but we are so blind, so trusting, so unrealistic, so sincere, so ignorant, that we shed tears when we take the marriage vows (in my case 4 times!)
When one considers the above and that the hunter / gatherer male brain has not changed one tiny iota in 100,000 years, (we play with laptops and mobile phones now instead of clubs to kill mastodons with!), then how can a male possibly believe that he can have a successful ‘long-term’ relationship with a woman (unless of course we give up good sex)."
Also see Korski's great submission "In the Rathole"
"You know what I mean by the Rathole, don’t you? Sure you do, everyone does, they just have their own names for it.
It’s the bottle, it’s the fat, it’s the wife you hate, it’s the ex-wife you hate because she took all your money, it’s the kids who can’t even remember your telephone number. It’s the job you only endure, and hate. The neighbors you’d like to shoot. The bad dreams that keep repeating and keep you awake at night.
I’m not going to try to tell you exactly when it happens, when you get one foot in the Rathole, and then it’s two feet in and you’re sliding down and there’s nothing to grab onto and then you look up one day and you know there’s no getting up and out. Nope, none at all. You’ve only got the End to look forward to.
6. The more submissions you read, your awareness of the cultural chasm between men and women grows exponentially.
7. If you are middle aged man and fall into GFE, don't try to be a "Pattaya Superman".
I interpret that term to mean an old man marrying a young woman 1/3 his age.
Once again, don't mistake the GFE for Marriage.
8. Rent the Sex, Rent the GFE, even Rent the Wife. See IndyUK's wonderful "Senior Citizens and Lady Thai Care" for great ideas.
Always remember, the Sex and GFE will fade. That is why,
YOU PAY THEM TO GO AWAY.
9. Once you understand all the rules above, and are free from illusions that plague less informed middle age men, go do something USEFUL with your life.
10. SHORT TIME IS KING.
Over time, after reading many submissions, these are some of the insights I found.
Here are some additional ideas I found helpful:
When dealing with a sex worker, always remember the GFE is temporary..
Never ever think it is smart to try to rescue a woman.
Recognize sex workers for what they are. Business women offering sex and GFE for money. Good girls offer sex and GFE also, but also expect marriage in return rather than just money. For reasons above, this can be a really bad deal.
Support the sex worker industry and support countries which legalize sex workers.
Avoid countries where sex work is illegal and forces what should be protected and regulated sex workers into an exploited and endangered situation controlled by intimidation and that forces men to pay exorbitant prices and to be endangered themselves.
In Thailand sex workers are usually not coerced by anyone.
The more legal and regulated the industry is, the less likely the women will be exploited.
Value sex workers in the industry. They serve a critical function that should be greatly appreciated.
Respect the rules and laws of the sex worker industry.
Never consider trying to have sex with an underage woman. That is against the law.
Always have greatest respect for sex workers. Treat them with the respect of someone who provides tremendous service.
Never think that going with a younger woman will make you younger. After the GFE fades, you will realize it was an illusion.
Never think just because your GFE seems forever that it will not fade. It will.
Never think that having a child with your GFE will make you younger. It won't. That is an illusion.
You must go through the sex tour and the GFE tour to understand they are both TEMPORARY and fill biological needs.
The sooner you understand and use them for what they are, the safer you will be from being exploited by nature and women.
A lot of very sound advice. They are good time girls, and nothing more.