Stickman Readers' Submissions February 16th, 2008

The Illusion of Rin

I met Rin almost two years ago. At the time I was writing a feature on upscale massage parlors and she.. she was a superstar. From all the interviews, the talks, the weeks of observation, one person stood out in my mind more than anyone else and has since never left my thoughts. Rin didn’t wear a number, as the top earner on the VIP floor she set her own hours, came and went as she desired, and wasn’t about to yield control in any way. Rin is beautiful. In past submissions I’ve attempted, and failed, to adequately describe the unusual and rare beauty of certain women. I’ll give you the basics and let you fill in the blanks. She’s 5’4”, maybe 100 pounds soaking wet, eyes/nose/mouth more western than Asian with that jet black straight hair we find so lovely on Thai women. I’d describe her as a “China Doll”, not so much because her features are so fine and perfect, but because her ‘oriental alabaster’ skin is an exercise in perfection, equally beautiful and smooth. Touching her can only be described as a combination of luxury and decadence reserved for illusions and fantasies of the most unique kind.

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She was watching me from a distance as I interviewed number 23v. Occasionally the ‘numbered’ girls would mention her in reverence or awe, brief comments about her charm and way with men, how she handled the profession with ease. Rin was a legend in her own time, an illusion the others aspired to. I’d finally finished my work, it had taken me the better part of three weeks and 23v was my final scheduled interview. After her I’d go home and spend the new few weeks trying to find the right words to convey my findings. 23v wai’d me as she left, her eyes opening wide as Rin approached and taking her seat on the leather sofa introduced herself. At the time she was wearing a thin white cotton sleeping shirt mid-thigh in length, no bra and a white g-string. Her hair smelled of apricot shampoo and even without makeup her features captured my attention. She had decided to share her story with me, later I was to find out why.

Her first of three contracts was auctioned off when she was just 17. With a million baht deposited in her account she was flown first class to Osaka Japan and would spend the next nine months being ‘kept’ by a wealthy businessman. He’d arranged for her to be schooled on fashion, hair and makeup, and the local etiquette necessary to please a man of wealth and power. She told me it was almost three months before he called on her for the first time, and never more than twice a month. At the end of her first contract she’d graduated from a scared young teenager, to a confident young lady with the wardrobe and style of a socialite and the grace of a geisha. By the end of her third and final contract she’d managed to save over eight million baht after cashing in the many gifts she’d collected. Back in Bangkok she lived simply, never showing her wealth or wasting her money. Rin had plans and the rare mind to see them through.

She told me that day her plan was to move to a western country of her choice, pay cash for a home and car, and attend a western university to earn a degree. She explained to me she wasn’t born into a rich life or western country, but she realized during her first contract that she was given the gifts to get there on her own. Once she’d earned enough money she’s start her new life. This is where she figured I’d be useful. It turns out that I’d help her perfect her English, talk to her about the different places I’d been until she found one she’d enjoy, and to give her some insight and knowledge on her selection. Somewhere along the way we became friends, and then good friends, and then special friends. Several times a month we’d spend time together, me providing her information about the west, and her delighting me with her company and giving me a rare insight into the life of a high end prostitute.

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Fast forward almost two years. A few months ago Rin reached her fiscal goals and at my suggestion was slowing winding down her professional life, saying goodbye to her best customers, getting used to not having to please men she didn’t care for, and perhaps most importantly developing friends outside of her profession. I’d never slept with Rin, but not because she didn’t offer. At first she expected to sleep with me in exchange for the time and help I gave her. If I did, I wouldn’t have been able to make her believe she had value as a woman outside of a sexual plaything. Sometimes I regretted my decision, at other more calm times I was sure I was doing the right thing. She’d filled many a night with wonderful fantasies, and this was good enough for me. She did have one confession that surprised me though. Even though she’d learned to enjoy sex, she’d never learned to achieve orgasm. She said that maybe someday when she fell in love..

There were times during our talks when I had the feeling she was hinting, or suggesting.. that I become part of her life. That we start a new life together. With her being the illusion I was never sure, but sometimes I was left thinking if I asked.. I’d have her to myself forever. Today was one of those days. I’ve had a visiting family member in my home for the past three weeks, and during the course of his visit he confessed he hadn’t had a sexual relationship in almost ten years. He’d “read” about “soapies” on the internet and after a few weeks of being coy he directly asked me if I knew where he could go. The first time we visited Rin’s place of employment he couldn’t get over the number of pretty women available for what to him was a small amount of money. Unfortunately by his fifth visit he wasn’t able to “finish” and was growing depressed. He hadn’t met Rin yet, she wasn’t ‘working’ any longer but I figured it was time I asked her professional opinion so I asked her to meet us and help point out someone with a combination of looks, skill, and enthusiasm so he could leave Thailand with confidence and look forward to his next visit.

Arriving at the club I was shown to my usual table, a corner table that provided a great view of the two sides of the main floor lined with seats where the numbered ladies were seated. We ordered some drinks and I sent a SMS to Rin letting her know I’d arrived. Ten minutes later I saw his mouth fall open and his eyes pop from their sockets and turning I saw Rin with a huge smile on her face approaching our table. The other girls stopped talking to themselves and turned to watch, Rin still commanded a great deal of respect and awe from the numbered girls and by association I would soon as well. I stood to greet her and was rewarded with a light hug and peck on the cheek and we sat as introductions were made. Rin asked him if he saw anyone that interested him and then she would let him know if she had the right skills. Immediately he blurted “YES, SITTING HERE AT THIS TABLE!!!” He turned red just as fast as he blurted it out, and I suppose I couldn’t blame him. All the men were looking at Rin by now, this was one of the rare times she was on this floor. Rin, charming as usual pretended to be flattered but politely declined and directed his attention to a certain lady she said was sure to interest him. By now he was so flustered in her presence all he could do was agree and calling over the floor manager she spoke to him in Thai and soon the lady was seated with us and a few moments later I watched them depart for the payment desk and lift to the rooms.

Rin said not to worry, she’d selected this lady beforehand and briefed her on what was required. We sat and talked and then she surprised me by telling me she had her ticket and visa and in under 30 days would be living her dream. I think I was stunned, I’d grown so used to our meeting and so much enjoyed her company, and now our relationship was ending in less than 30 days. This was the first time I’d lost my composure in her presence.

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Looking directly into my eyes she said she wanted to thank me. “Please, don’t say no, follow me?” She took my hand and led me not to the regular lifts or even the private lift to the VIP floor, but through the back dressing room area, through the kitchen, and into another area of the building to a lift I didn’t know about. Smiling she put in a key and the door opened. There were no buttons, just a key slot and moments after inserting the key the doors slid open to reveal a very luxurious penthouse apartment. The room was dimmed and candles were lit. This was starting off just like one of the fantasies I’d had about her.

She asked me not to refuse her, not to talk, to just follow her lead and enjoy a single session with her. Leading me into the dressing area she removed my clothes and then hers and taking me into the bath we climbed into a whirlpool tub where she sat on my lap and bathed me. The room was dark save for several candles and I remember the light dancing off her face as her hair gently swayed back and forth. There’s something about being this intimate and close to a beautiful woman that I’m sure you understand, a sense of peace and serenity driven by intense desire and lust. So taken by the light show across her alabaster china doll face I never thought to look at her body, so when she took my hands and put a scented bar of soap in them and kissed me.. I wasn’t surprised to find her body as perfect as her features. This illusion was perfect, every detail vivid and saturated with a sort of luminosity reserved for the finest museum exhibits. Whispering that she’d wanted this for years she leaned closer and asked me to just hold her.

She was so small and light, still holding her I rose to my feet and stepping from the tub carried her to the adjoining bedroom and placing her on the white satin duvet I laid next to her and we kissed. I knew the game well, but I’d never been with a professional before, at least not knowingly. I’d guess the best actresses would feign desire and even satisfaction, but this wasn’t professional? She moved down my body and lifting my head and supporting myself on my elbows I watched. Any man will tell you there’s nothing as satisfying and erotic as watching a beautiful woman really enjoy fellatio. Her small hand holding, her eyes moving up and down it’s length, and finally moving her eyes to mine as she took it inside.. nothing else compares. Or so I thought.

Stopping me several times with a practiced squeeze she finally stopped and putting her hand behind my head guided me to her own enjoyment as my hands moved up and across her waist and breasts enjoying the luxury of her skin. Time stood still and nothing else existed, again nothing else has ever compared as my eyes watch her face, head bowed in concentration, eyes closes, lips parted and mouth open.. Stopping she moves her hips to mine and bringing her head down to kiss me she softly says “I can feel it like never before” and reaching for me she brings me inside and placing her hands on my chest rocks her hips in time to Julia Othmer’s “First Day” and tells me “I want to share my world with you” before closing her eyes tight and bearing down. I can feel her contracting as I lose my own control. Her body is still shuddering, spasms, sweaty, as she lays on top of me with her head to the side of mine I can’t believe how wonderful life can still be. I don’t want to let go, I want to tell her I’ll go with her, that we can have a life together.. But she’s 22, beautiful, just starting her life, and I’m none of those things. We say goodbye and holding her one last time I wish her luck and a great life.

Downstairs I see him waiting for me with a big smile on his face like he can’t wait to tell me the great news. Getting into the SUV we head out and he’s telling me he was finally able to get an erection and orgasm and it was made so much better because she also orgasmed three times! Pulling over to the side of the road I looked at him, old, wrinkled, huge smile, newbie to the scene, and I didn’t want to spoil his good time but I had to bring him back to earth. I looked straight at him and said “please understand, these girls are great actresses, they get paid to make you feel great. That’s their job, do you understand me?” My heart fell, his face looked like a little kid who was just yelled at by someone they respected. “Yes, I understand”, he said and fell silent. I told him it’s important to understand that the girls job is to make you feel special and capable and create an illusion worth paying for. “Keep perspective” I said.. perspective is so important. And the moment he said “I understand” I knew I understood too. I so much wanted to believe I was different to her, special, but she’s an illusion.. Good luck to you Rin, I sincerely wish you the best..

Until next time..

the first day

Written by: julia othmer


baby i'm gonna miss you


today is the first day i'm not going to share my world with you


the bed is empty


i can feel where your body lay in the sheets just this morning


i woke up kissing you


now i'm missing you


why did god take an angel home so soon?


baby i'm gonna miss you


today is the first day i'm not going to share my world with you


all i can do it sing on


hoping singing will bring on solace for my weary head


so i will keep singing to comfort me while i'm in pain


baby i'm gonna miss you


today is the first day i'm not going to share my world with you


tomorrow the sun will rise beautiful and brilliant and i know you'll be smiling down on me from your spot in heaven


i know you'd want me happy


you would want me smiling


so i will keep singing yeah i will keep trying


cause baby i'm gonna miss you


today is the first day i'm gonna live the world in you

Stickman's thoughts:

There's a Rin, Noi, Lek or Ning out there that made most of us feel that way, once…..or maybe more than once!

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