Bruce Part 2
Part 2: Bruce: “Lecter I need your opinion”
We left off with Bruce and Derek, friends in a place down under, with Bruce in a quandary. He’s asked advice of someone he knows loosely (me) and given me a snapshot of his current world, a little history and a vision of the future. I’ve given a view and some questions that I thought would help him come to his own conclusions on the situation without being clouded by my prejudices or preconceptions of him, his situation or the recipient of his current attentions.
One might already take a view on the situation and have many cynical opinions based on experience and in country knowledge on the ground in Thailand. But what do we really know? The facts are not blurred with any emotion when read by us. Do we look at them with a “No Money No Honey” stain and discount any real intent there might be? Is this what we should be doing? Some, of course, just have a “let him learn” attitude, which is exactly what my thought processes headed towards in the beginning. But I thought about it and came to the conclusion that this was a wonderful test case for a Farang, trying to make it in the world after a personal disaster involving an ex wife, and adding to this complexity by taking on a foreign wife, with kids and expectations on how the relationship will work going forward.
I then received an answer to my email. It was very quick, considering. Bruce clearly wants to give this a lot of thought and consideration. Although the rose glasses are firmly attached to his nose, he sees they are scratched and possibly flawed. Ultimately, the rose tinting of the glasses will be the determinant of the outcome more than any comments I can give, or any advice my fellow Schoochers or stickmanites can give. After all, who would ever want to admit they are wrong. Would we? If this turns out to be the success of the century, are we going to be taking another look at our internal prejudices and preconceptions? Will we look inward and say, “There is a better world out there”? Foster has often called me Buddhist, but I am really indifferent about religion, but I have a solid feeling about fate and consequence. My gut feeling on this tells me all is not kosher in Mecca!!!!!
To the letter:-
Thank you for your letter. Yes I did ask a lot of you but I am not up on scams and Thai customs.
<Name and address deleted>
Age>35 <45 <age withheld but younger than Foster>
Trained as cook and learned English at the same time and has worked in the tourist industry. Yes there are a few gaps there that I will have to fill in. Q1
Husband left 14 years ago. She says she has divorce papers but I have not seen them and Tik, got passports for both kids so she3 must have some form of paperwork or Dad is close handy. Q2
No boyfriend was seen or heard of while I lived with her in her house. No clothes or man type things anywhere in the house and a lot of man type chores needed doing.
Have seen the deeds and titles to her land.
Other family members are all employed. School teacher, merchant seaman, own a noodle factory (small), works in computers but having baby-husband work for council as truck driver and works the family farm.
Other members of the family also look after parents. They do not have any buffalo?
I am not expected to pay any Sin Sot to parents they wish me just to look after the kids and Tik.
We have discussed where we shall live and it is my idea to stay in Thailand until the girl is in university at least. She is a very good scholar and I wish to see her get the best education that she can. I enjoyed the Thai way of life and also need to recuperate from the last year. Have a couple of ideas to make money but that is another story.
She has not insisted on going to my homeland but it has been discussed as an alternative or as a second home.
If it is a scam then it has a lot of new twists. Yes we did fuck each other senseless. But I did stay in her house with her kids and did interact with all her family. Many meals at parents house, meals at sisters house, family visited at the house many times, for meals etc. She would be the hardest woman that I know to buy something for, she would not let me spend money on her at all the whole time that I was there. I did however pay expenses like fuel and meals when we were out. Yes I have sent her money as I ran low on cash and sent her money to pay for the extra calls on her phone etc. I have also sent her enough money to organise a visa to come to my country. Not very much all told. She has not asked for more at any time.
There is one nagging thing which I need to ask her, she says that she built the house after her husband left, I don’t know where she would make that sort of money working as a cook or anything else 10 years ago other than the sex industry. Her father is a master tradesman but while raising 2 kids she builds a house?
It does not matter to me if she has worked in the sex trade I have never heard of one wearing out. As long as she continues to tell the truth about things that matter.
I hope that this fills some of the holes but answering all these questions has opened my eyes to some things that I need to check out. And I will do so at the earliest opportunity.
Many thanks for your support and may your upcoming marriage be the continuance of a great relationship. Give my regards to your lady.
Well I have not replied to this yet, apart from a quick note on staying in Thailand. Many are under the delusion that this is an easy process. Also the Schoochers thread / stickman submission on making money in Thailand is one worth reading for sure, with some excellent points of view.
After reading this with Mrs. Lecter we mulled over the implications of the answers. The fact that they got “straight into sex” and then went up to say with her and the family when it is acknowledged that they have only known each other physically for days is of deep concern. Surely one of the best ways to add honey to the trap is to make the sex free and available and have the family acceptance to be complete and utter. It is odd that the whole family didn’t blink an eyelid. Certainly if one of Mrs. Lecter's sisters turned up at one of our places with a foreigner and was sleeping with him there’d be a friggin riot!!
I agree that buying a house on a cooks wages is a little far fetched, especially when bringing up children and helping the parents. But not impossible perhaps, depending on the service industry. Certainly learning to speak English as a cook is probably not really probable, but as Bruce says, who is he to judge? For me it lends to motive more than a judgement. If she has a checkered history employment wise, then she is well versed in dealing with foreign men. I still think that her ability to joke and get on so easily with Bruce leads one to believe that there’s more than one Farang in her life, either now or in the past. I think that Bruce does need to have a good long look at this whole endeavour. But that’s a personal opinion I have.
“We have discussed where we shall live and it is my idea to stay in Thailand until the girl is in university at least.”
Jesus… I might be a little naïve, but that’s quite a quick transition. Trust me Bruce, after three weeks, Thailand is amazing. After six months it may get a little suffocating. If you’re looking for it to provide you an income it may become, to a greater degree, stifling. This is not something you just decide after three weeks of upside down moisty joint drilling!! This is a life decision that is better made with someone you “know” you can get along with in the long term. Your country may seem to have betrayed you today, that is not a reason to bail into something where you will basically have no rights and your “wife to be” will hold all the cards.
Bruce, we wait with interest to see what happens next…
Let's hope Bruce listens.