Readers' Submissions

Just A Few Questions

  • Written by Anonymous
  • October 5th, 2007
  • 12 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


Why do so many poor uneducated bar girls manage to have so many farangs over? The lies are so transparent as well. I would say Thai girls / people are the worst liars I have ever come across. Why are westerners sucked in all the time?

I was with a girl in Thailand, never paid her any money for months. Why? Why do I want to pay to make someone like me? Or am I missing the point of Thailand and really the writers in this section are just sad sex tourists who think that they were the first man their whore met? What is all this paying someone to hold your hand thing about as well? Do people really get satisfaction from this?! Also having sex with a girl who has done it 100 times and actually acts like this-going through the motions! How is this worth paying for? I won’t be crude but 90% of them are useless in the sack! Isn’t it more satisfying when you have a couple of beers and try and charm someone using your own abilities rather than your wallet? Is that not more satisfying when you do actually get a girl back to your room? Or again am I missing the point of Thailand?

Do you realise when something feels wrong, it most likely is wrong? Have you ever had a girlfriend at home that has a mobile phone with a battery life as bad as the ones in Thailand? Strange how the battery always goes just around 2 AM… Why do you not see things like this for what they are? Do they have different phones in Thailand?

Have you ever been to a country where none of the locals want you to know the language? What does this say for the honesty and integrity of the culture? I like it when they notice you speak some Thai then do the ridiculously false ‘oh you speak Thai very well’ thing while their face says it all. Is it only me that picks up on this? Seen this so many times from all different classes of Thai people as well – they hate it when a farang can speak some or so it seems. Is this just me? Did I make this up, am I generalising?

Despite knowing that Thai bar girls will play a numbers game with boyfriends, why do you think you are the only one? For example, the girl I was seeing I spoke to everyday when I came back to the West, but somehow I didn’t work for months and kept telling her I was going back. She waited and waited and now she is going to see a farang in Norway. She tells me that she has told this farang about me and when he came to Thailand for 3 weeks she called me at every opportunity to tell me that she doesn’t want to be with him and wants me to come back. She has been telling me she wants me to come back every week for the last 8 months. Judgement call but I actually believe her despite me giving her $200 during this time! Am I the same as a stupid farang for giving her $200 when she never asks for anything and never has? I actually know now that she is probably the exception to the rule with Thai girls but it's too late now…

She also tells me that she told the farang that she doesn’t really want to go with him but he has still got her a visa and now wants to buy her a plane ticket. Is he stupid? I am fine with this because I never went back and she has to do what she wants. But she speaks to me for 3 hours a day on the phone and internet. Her phone rings out with this farang, she turns it off then when she turns it on he rings! Is he stupid? Is that one of you people reading this? Why would you bother with a girl who switches her phone off for hours? Why would you want to quite literally drag her to your home country? Yes of course this could all be lies but I have heard and seen her phone ring while she is on the internet then she ignores it for hours but this guy still phones. Is he desperate? Do Thai girls normally spend 3 hours on the internet to broker farangs as well?

I asked her the other day, ‘why do you want to go to Sweden to see a farang you don’t want to be with?’

She replies ‘because you not come back.’

So I said, ‘yes but why would you want to be with someone that you don’t really like?’

She says ‘what can I do?’

Does this give you an indication of their feelings on relationships? Do you not realise that Asian relationships aren’t the same as in the West – especially in Thailand from what I have noticed? You would NEVER know deep down if a Thai lady really loved you, would you? I realise that you could say this for any woman but let’s be honest, if we’re looking at the odds for trusting any woman of any nationality and profession.. On the other hand I don’t think there is anything wrong with marrying a Thai lady as long as you realise that most likely this is an arrangement and sign a pre-nup. Don't you need to look at it the same way as they do rather than look through your Western eyes? Judging from the class system and prostitution wouldn't you say this is 100 years behind the West in some ways?

What’s wrong with testing someone out? Common sense tells me that if you stay with a woman for months and give her no money and act like you don’t have any you’ll soon see what she really wants? Is this something I invented or did I read it somewhere? Does anyone else think that money cannot buy you respect? Even in Thailand? I have had more respect for not throwing it away than handing it out.

Both times I lived in Thailand I had 2 decent girls who knew where they stood and more importantly where I stood! I told the last one I wouldn’t marry a Thai lady, she couldn’t come to the West as I’d have to baby sit her all the time and that if I come back I would stay with her. I am reasonably lonely here on my own every night but I think about what the lady will do while I am at work all day? Does anyone else think this or are they too concerned with being with a pretty girl who is useless in bed, has no hobbies, is not interested in world affairs, doesn’t read a newspaper and despite being the lowest class in her own country seems to think she is far better than the stupid farang that is paying her family every month while she fulfils and pursues this strange brain-washed upbringing of ‘look after the family’ (the one that happily turns a blind eye to prostitution)? Do you really think a Thai girl, or any girl for that matter, respects a man she can walk all over? I have been on both ends of the scale and know where I have felt the most respect.

Honestly what will you do with a Thai girl in the West? Really? How will you keep her occupied? One of the ones I was having fun with used to log on to the internet and switch the webcam on while her stupid farang was at work. Was this your girlfriend? Can you really not catch a Thai girl out on your own PC in your own house? I am not suggesting for a second laying traps but then I wouldn’t suggest for a second marrying a hooker.. Or is it ok for her to chat to random westerners while you send money for her family from your 50 hour week? What would you do if you found your Thai bar girl on the internet to a westerner in your house? Would you believe her story?

As long as you are happy with your arrangement then that’s fine but I think most people do not know all the details. I understand this, as a 2 week holiday will not tell you these things…but when was the last time you had a 2 week holiday in Spain and got proposed to by a hooker?!! Has Thailand not got a reputation in the West for ladies desperate to marry a foreigner? Why do you ignore these things? Is it the heat, the climate?

Back to ‘my’ Thai girl. She said to me the other day ‘I cannot lie to you because you know every time.’ Hmmm, not sure about every time but when I ask her a point blank question and she doesn’t answer it, I am pretty sure she is withholding evidence. Even then she has to spill the beans as she is useless at lying. I actually believe you will be treated how you want to be treated in most dealings in life, or should I say ‘allow’ yourself to be treated. If you make it clear to someone that lying is unacceptable very firmly then maybe they will think twice about this. Why not try it?

Also why go to Thailand looking for love in a bar? Unless you are really rich and can afford to stay there full time to make sure she is not working still. Are these really the lengths you have to go to anyway? I used to be very harsh in my opinions of Thai bar girls but I have since changed. Why? Because I am some of the cause of the issues myself. If you were a Thai bar girl, knowing what we know about their culture, relationships and how they appear to see sex, and you had a western boyfriend you actually liked then he went home with all good intentions of coming back then never did… what would you do? Would you put your life on hold waiting for this one guy to fly all the way back? What about if you did this one time and the guy never came back, would you put all your eggs in one basket next time? I thought in my mind that I was coming back home, getting a job then nipping back to Bangkok for a couple of months again to enjoy myself. For some reason I slipped into not working and have not been able to afford it – unforeseen circumstances.. This lady has waited and waited for me and I never went back. Now she is taking some action – how can I blame her? I don’t blame her at all, her nationality has little to do with this one!

Anyway. Then she said to me – ‘you cannot do anything for me’ which normally I would take offence at but to be fair she is right! She said ‘you tell me you come back but you never do, I not know if you ever come back’ But then I asked her what can she do for me? Am I the only farang to ask this? Why is everything a one way street! I am not slating this particular girl as over the months she has never given me a reason to but… What can a Thai girl do for me? I cannot have intelligent discussion with her, I cannot watch an English film with her, I cannot let her go out on her own really, I cannot leave her in the house too long as I’m worried she’ll be bored. WHAT DO THAI LADIES DO?!

Then we have the good old sin sot payment! Ha ha! You are marrying a low class bar girl and have to pay to do so! That’s the best one! Now when I say low class, I mean this by HER standards in her country which she is so proud to keep up tradition with. Being a farang with fair skin you are already catapulted into the next class bracket anyway and you still have to pay her a load of money for face or whatever nonsense excuse she comes out with? Why is it all about her family? Why do you disregard your own culture? You seem to bow down to her every wish and never spare a thought for yourself. She can do nothing for you! She brings nothing to the table as far as I can see in terms of future but expects EVERYTHING! She should be on the moon that a farang will take her anyway! She is probably only marrying you to have a pale baby anyway or to fulfil this weird ambition to look after the family at whatever cost! Am I being cynical? Maybe it’s the best way. Does anyone else find it ever so coincidental that there are websites such as this with hundreds of stories of Thai girl rip offs but I can hardly find even a fraction of any regarding a different country?

Maybe I am ranting but after hearing about yet another stupid farang not knowing what he is getting himself into I felt the need. I asked ‘my’ Thai girl as well ‘why do you not care about the Swedish guy as he will think you really like him when you tell me you don’t?’

Her answer was ‘because you not come back.’

Sigh. I give up.

Stickman's thoughts:

Many readers will no doubt get upset by the frankness and bluntness of this submission. But it is my belief that you speak the truth…and I cannot find fault with much of what you say.

There are plenty of good Thai women out there, about that there is no doubt. The problem is that many farangs don’t seem to choose the good ones!