Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 197
THE CIRCLE OF LOGIC
When a man gets to a certain age, the age of wisdom and experience; it is possible (devoutly to be wished for) that he would be dating an Asian woman many years (decades please God) his junior.
Example: 59 year old man; 22 year old woman.
94 year old man, 24 year old twins (no problem, adds up to 48 year old woman).
62 year old man; 23 year old woman (with 17 year old sister maybe)
79 year old man; 14 year old woman with 27 year old mother.
67 year old man; 18 year old woman (no issues brother–everybody a grownup)
82 year old man: 19 year old woman (ok, she's not young–but no stretch marks)
73 year old man; 15 year old woman (ok, that's probably not a good idea).
66 year old man; 16 year old woman (but she looks 20)
78 year old man, 14 year old woman (you had to see her-try to be open minded).
86 year old man, any woman in Cambodia with pimples.
61 year old man, 20 year old woman (ok, she's young but she reads and everything)
59 year old man, any woman on the boardwalk while high school is in session.
71 year old man, any woman in Laos over four feet tall.
63 year old man, any woman in Vietnam over 65 pounds (age is just a number).
Since all women want to get married and make babies, and since babies represent a twenty year contract; this presents a moral issue that a man of taste, and style, and breeding, and education, and high minded philosophy, and unimpeachable ethics and morals like myself has no trouble handling.
To wit: it is not responsible for a man of advanced age to spend serious time with a woman of these tender years because she wants to marry and have babies, and no man of advanced years wants to do either of these things. Actually, no real man wants to push a carriage but that is a whole 'nother essay. Anyway, if you are like me; catnip to women (CTW), even smiling at a woman can cause her to become enamored and love deranged. Anything beyond the smiling stage; say touching or rubbing, can cause them to go into hormonal overload and start flippin' and floppin' like a catfish thrown up on the bank of the Mekhong river. Of course later, when they find out that you are not going to honor contracts of marriage and babies, they get sad. Sometimes they get so sad that they want to cut off your penis and plunge a knife repeatedly into your body. I know having your penis amputated might sound unappealing, but it is their culture and you have to respect that. I can't tell you how many times my pecker has been depeckered. But I almost digress. Anyway, the man of high morals and adamantine ethics has to learn to use his powers for good rather than sad.
Making Thai women sad just to satisfy your own desires is wrong and every high minded man of taste, and style, and breeding, and sensitivity, and low hanging balls knows that fact. It is not responsible to take up a good woman's time with dating or social intercourse of any kind.
Therefore; it follows as the night follows the day, and as the Circle of Logic (CoL) closes in upon itself; that if you are a man of a certain age the only women you should be spending time with are skanks, and cruisers, and prostitutes, and whores. It is a mature and honorable man that accepts this situation and spends the rest of his life banging whores like a demented carpenter, and plowing prostitutes like a bunny on speed, and porkin' skanks like a diabetic attacking a candy counter, and slidin' his big finger down the pants of cruisers like a food inspector testing sausage casings. Mature high minded men of philosophy and morals know that their futures are in the red light districts of 3rd world countries. God bless airplanes.
So if you are a man who is no longer young, and if you are a man of high moral purpose come with me now as we mentally go to the land of Thailand where . . . oh God, look at that one. Fxxx me with a wire brush look at that one . . . and the other one . . . and; sweet Jesus on a cracker look up ahead, oh please God make her get on the same Skytrain car as me . . . and, ok forget that one: look at these two, oh God they are trannies who could melt steel with their eyes and . . . ok, tranny time is later . . . schoolgirls at two o'clock . . . and, oh god I hurt; not one over eighteen and givin' me that 'you want it' look. Smooth smooth legs and new knees and . . . ok, this is all wrong mostly. Just trouble, mostly good girls. So so close but the man of high moral purpose is not seduced by the temptations of the flesh when he knows that he can not follow through on the whole marriage and babies thing. But there is always Plan B.
B for Boardwalk in Battaya. Boardwalk time: land of skanks, and whores, and prostitutes, and cruisers. The differences? Prostitutes are pros and money is going to change hands always. Whores may do you for free. Hard to know. Worth a shot but there is no bragging here. She is going to look mentally unbalanced and may be so in the bedroom. Still, you've got to be on the field to fall on the ball and I have really scored at the bottom of the garbage pail. Skanks are lousy at everything including looks and always available. Usually a waste of time but if you want to invest in time, the skank who is picked up repeatedly can sometimes be trained to provide service and cheaply. Last are the cruisers. Walkers up and down the boardwalk with fake smiles, dead eyes, no particular fashion aspect; and absolutely no intention of building a cell phone address book of happy customers. Young girls of the sex worker criminal class who will steal at every opportunity. No good unless they are drugged up. Still, I once picked up a Burmese drug addled cruiser in Bangkok and . . .
"Boom Boom honey, if you are out there reading this please get in touch. Daddy needs you and he needs you bad. Oh god honey, Daddy needs you soooo bad . . . " But I almost digress.
Anyway, there are at least four classes of companions available to the man of high moral values and sterling behavior who has decided that because of women's desires (marriage and babies) and his advanced age that taking up their time would be improper. So he has philosophically dedicated himself to the civilized notion that for the rest of his life he should only be bonking whores and skanks and prostitutes and cruisers. Again, God bless Thailand and God bless airplanes. Oh . . . oh oh, I see Fa: gotta go. Hey, just one more thing before I feel Fa's arms around me. What do we call this philosophy and behavior? The Circle of Logic. That's right. You graduate. Now go skank hunting.
Original. The hallmark of Dana – totally original!