Stickman Readers' Submissions October 8th, 2007

Insulting A Thai Girl

It all started as a standard conversation. Hello. How are you? Where you come from? It evolved into the classic, “What you do for fun?” It went south from there.

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You see, like many American men, I do not like to dance. So when she asked me “You like dance?”, I just replied nid noi (a little bit) because of course every guy likes to watch some hot girls dance.

Well she replies “Is it because you are so fat?” and it all went downhill from there.

Now I am not a fat guy. I am no Mr. Universe, but I go to the gym regularly and try to eat healthy. It seems Thai women love to call me fat and over the years it has gotten to me. So in the nicest way possible I explained to her that calling me this was pretty rude and she should try not to say that to people. Normally after that the girl gets apologetic and then we reconcile no harm no foul.

Not this girl.

She decides instead to tell me, “That 's really so you think is rude?

“You can't accept so.”

“Because you can't accept you are fat?”

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“You can't accept the true thing?”

So I happened to have a Thai friend on the other line who I have known for a number of years and acts as my translator of Thai language and culture. I told her the situation and she told me my best thing was to tell her this:

“I try to teach you about how to be polite in English, but you just want to be ชั้นต่ำ (low class).”

Well of course I get a barrage of Thai which I have to copy paste over to my friend. She tells me it means basically I am a bad person and ashamed of being so fat and stupid. So then it becomes the battle of the angry Thai girls with my friend sending me phrases to send to her and the fireworks are going a mile a minute. Basically my message is that she is a low class factory worker and her message is I am a stupid fat farang. Well this lasts for a while and I make sure to call her dad a ladyboy a few times. She assures me any trip to Thailand will result in my death because her dad owns many factories and she will send my information to the police and have me detained at the border for execution (nice girl).

Of course I make sure to comment to her at every step of the way that she is being too serious (love to accuse Thais of being too serious). She told me at one point I have the mouth of a dog and the vision like a buffalo…I am not too sure on that one but I will keep it in the insult library for sure.

After the dust settled, this good girl decided to show her true colors. She began to tell me how she pays for handsome guys to sleep with her and how she would pay me to lick her butt and her feet (normally I have to pay for that) so I was pretty stoked to hear that. Apparently that was all talk though because she scoffed at my offer of 500 baht long time and assured me she pays handsome men 5,000 baht without even thinking about it and that I was low class to accept only 500 baht. I told her I had to feed my family up north.

Of course insulting people is a time honored tradition in my country and occasionally I take the chance to get a good girl riled up, but the obscenities and the ideas of sex that spewed from this girl’s mouth were truly eye opening. I mean she was the standard 20-something hotty from Buriram so she didn’t have to pay for it, but she seemed to think bragging to me about paying for it would somehow make me envious. Of course she got extremely upset when I called her a bargirl, but seemed to be proud of going out to find bar boys. This just goes along with this culture of high class/low class where having the ability to pay for sex from someone out of your league is something to be proud of. At least in America people who do this normally keep it a secret outside of their inner circle. At least it was pretty funny to watch a Thai lose their mind for once.

Stickman's thoughts:

On the subject of telling people that they are fat, this is quite normal in Thailand and does not nearly carry the same impolite connotations as it does in the West. That said, it would not be said to a stranger or someone you had just met.

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