So here I am again in Sin City (Pattaya) having a well earned break from my busy and often frustrating life in Dubai. I am well into the second week of my break when I start to scratch (no it's not crabs) at my hands, head and face so straight away I think ahhh, heat rash, mai bpen rai, just a trip to the pharmacy for some cream and problem solved. Liberal amounts of cream applied, back on the vodka-lipo again for another all night bender of sanuk sanuk or so I thought but I forgot to take into account the Thailand factor as you know things are not always as they seem in the LOS…
The morning after my teeruk wakes me, somewhat pissed off at being woken at the ungodly hour of 2.00 PM. I ask her what is wrong as she is staring at me wide eyed. She almost looks like a farang, her eyes are that wide, then she starts to touch my face. It is at this point I realize something is wrong. My lips feel big. I am burning up. My hands are all swollen and a horrible bright red color. I look in the mirror and I see that I have lips like Mick Jagger, only bigger. My nose is also swollen up which is really worrying as anyone will tell you who knows me it is big enough already. It's panic stations all round, what with the sleep deprivation I have been submitting myself to the last ten days or so (they really should close the bars a bit earlier in Pattaya at least 6.00 AM).
Paranoia sets in. I really thought I had contracted some South East Asian super bug that no one has seen before. At this stage I am really [email protected] myself so it’s a mad rush down to the rong payaa-baan. Now I must add at this point
that Pattaya International Hospital really looked after me and I would not hesitate to go back there if the need arose again. The doctor takes one look at me and starts to laughs. I think to myself what is so funny but it can not be serious if
she is laughing can it? ALLERGIC REACTION she says … To what says I…
It could be anything, something that you have eaten something, that you have drunk, or toiletries that you have used. I ask the doctor if she could do some test to find out what it is. We could she says but it will cost a lot of baht and we may not find out what you are allergic to anyway.
So I left it at that. I am not wasting my hard earned beer tokens on a pointless test.
They give me a couple of injections, the swelling goes down and the scratching stops. My friends stop taking the piss but I still want to know what caused the reaction in the fist place. So I start to think what I my have eaten or drunk out of the ordinary. Nothing I could think of. I have been going to the same raan aa-haan, I have eaten the same food, same bars I always go to, drinking the same beer. It was starting to do my head in but then it dawned on me, a couple of days earlier I had meet some lads from my home town, first timers in Pattaya, so I gave them the guided tour and one of the establishments we visited was Sabailand, the white-water rafting massage parlor over by soi 3. For those of you that do not know what I mean when I call it white-water rafting I recommend a visit to any of these type of parlors and find out for yourself. Anyway, back to what I was on about. As I recall, the lady that was entertaining me that night made a comment to me about the soap she was using something about it being not good. Me in a drunken haze and state of excitement did not care about the soap.
So another trip to Sabailand, another soapy massage, a small sample of soap to take away with me then back to the hospital got the soap analyzed or whatever they do with it. A skin test on me, that’s right you got it. It was the soap! I could not believe it. The only things I have ever been allergic to in my life is paying my bar bill and income taxes. So if you ever go to Sabailand in Pattaya I suggest that you take your own soap with you. My teeruk sometimes ask me how I got the yai-lips. I just smile to myself and tell her it was from white-water rafting.
In a previous submission I stated that I have been coming to Thailand 3 or 4 times a year
Check bin krap simmi
No photos to show us of your puffed up face?!