The Fishing Trip

My job takes me to some of the most volatile places on the planet. It all started with some international operations with my country's armed forces back in the mid nineties. These happened in some of the craziest places in the world back then, and
needless to say, when we got some R&R in a neighbouring country it got even crazier. A bunch of fit young men, with money in the back pocket. Needless to say we were popular among the ladies of the night.

Some ten years wiser, out of the forces now, but was never able to fit in to a normal make a career, get married, obtain a huge mortgage, Volvo and 1.2 kids. But my army experience was not wasted and good parts of the year I am off to places
like Africa, Middle East and now I am somewhere in Asia.

The people I work with are a good mix of ex-military from all over the world and very politically correct tree huggers. So when I announced that I was going to Thailand for my R&R, it was with two different versions of what I was going
to do. Both where correct…I just left some bits out for the tree huggers.

The military types took it with a smile, reminded me to take condoms and to give them a full report when I came back. The tree huggers were told I was going to some family oriented resort and that I was going fishing…I am an avid angler
and that was in fact also true. And they seemed to buy it.

Okay, two weeks later having done the fishing part…that is the sort you do with a rod, reel and lures, I arrived in Patong. Found a hotel near Bangla that was not too bad, had something to eat and a shower and out to check out the action.
I was impressed. So impressed that I was actually too shy to approach any of the beer or gogo bars at first. I was just wandering up and down Bangla Road, trying to figure out where to start.

Anyway, having spent 3 months in a country where women are not exactly easy, and they all have older brothers with big guns, I soon got over it and steered towards a gogo place. Well inside, beautiful girls looking bored and shuffling around
the pole. But to me it was paradise. I soon found myself with a beer in my hand and good looking girl in my lap. A drink for her appeared as well, but after a short time with her doing what girls like her do in my lap, I was definitely not ready
to refuse when she suggested I bar fine her and head for the nearest short time hotel.

The next day was spent on the beach, and exploring Patong. I soon found out that there was not much to explore. And tired from getting hassled by offers for “Masaaaage” and cheap suits I headed to the hotel to get some needed
sleep before hitting the beer bars.

I ended up in one of the small ones on Bangla Road. Still a bit shy for some reason, I had followed some Aussies in, but they soon left and I was alone with a bunch of pretty girls. One of them sat next to me, she had some bits and pieces
of English, so we managed to keep some sort of communication going…”Where you from”, “You have wife?”, that sort of thing.

She was pretty and had a nice smile and a good sense of humour. So after a few drinks I bar fined her and we headed for the disco across the road from the upper end of Bangla. We danced some by the table, had a few more beers and then she
told me “Go hotel- sleeeep”.

I obliged and off we went. The start of my introduction to the usual bar girl experience that so many have fallen into. I spent a week with her. And it was quite a ride. She had a kid that lived with her parents, and missed him “too
much”. So her mood was like a yo yo. Happy one minute, crying the next. And me…well I was not in love, but I am perhaps the prototype kind hearted fool. And I liked her. Liked her “so mak mak” that perhaps I overpaid her
a bit for her company…you know…for the kid.

But I also found out that she liked a beer or ten. I have no problem with drinking till I drop, when with my mates, but when together with a girl I tend to moderate myself. And by the end of the week her drinking habits started to annoy me
a bit. It came to the boiling point one night when she was more or less stone drunk. I wanted to take her back to the hotel and sleep it off. But she had other plans. After a short quarrel, she told me to leave…so I did.

To make a long story short, I cruised in anger down Bangla, intending to head straight for the hotel…but midway, I decided to get another beer and cool down. I ended up in a beer bar in a side street. And before you know it, I was buying
lady drinks, and ended up bar fining a girl.

We headed back to the hotel and completed our business deal, and fell asleep. That is, until there was a knock on the door. I stumble out of bed, open the door and it is miss drunk. I slam the door shut. I don’t want to deal with this
right know. Especially with another girl sleeping in my bed. Luckily Miss Drunk is not so persistent, no more knocks on the door. I fall asleep again and am not disturbed for the rest of the morning. I have breakfast and of goes last nights conquest…after
being paid of course.

That night it was with some trepidation I passed the bar on Bangla where miss drunk was working. But I succeeded…I thought. A tug on my arm and there she was. “I sorry” she said.

I tried getting around her, knowing this was likely to get embarrassing. And it was. Her English was not so good, but the crying and begging that followed all the way up Bangla road was. I came to my senses for a while and turned around to
just get back to the safety of my hotel. But then the skies opened up and it started to rain. So there I was, trapped under the roof of an ATM place with this girl.

Okay, I told you I am a kind hearted fool, so yup…I ended up accepting her apology, even apologizing for my behaviour…and we went straight back to her bar so that she could do the Looky-here-I-got-him-back-so-face saved routine. After
that it was back to the hotel.

Well inside the room, I wanted to have a shower. So I suggested we shower together. She started crying. “You only want boom boom, you butterfly, you go with other girl…etc…”

So I just gave her a hug, calmed her down, got her under the covers, had a shower alone.

She was still crying. So I tried to comfort her. I even gave her a massage…and that calmed her down and she fell asleep. I was totally worn out so I was soon out cold as well.

Next morning we spent the day together in bed. This would be my last day in Thailand, and I was set to leave the next morning. We actually had a good day together, and the evening was a good party too. We spent it all in the beer bar where
she worked. The manager threw in a few free drinks for me, and miss drunk stayed off the booze and was having cokes. He even told me I could bring a couple of extra girls since it was my last night…and pay for only one.

But I refused.

Next morning came…she helped me pack my bags. Neatly folding all my clothes for me. Farewell outside the hotel was not as bad as feared. A quick hug and into the waiting taxi.

A few days after returning, the first e-mail arrived in my junk mail account. She loved me, she missed me, when would I return to Phuket? I told her when, and that I liked her, and when I would return. Next email arrives. She has left Patong,
sick family member, needs 15,000 baht.

Time to evaluate the situation. And I decided to tell her who I really am. I have no regular job, and thus no regular income. I have no education worth mentioning. Large parts of the

year I don’t know when the next pay check will come from, and I will never be able to take care of her, or her kid financially. At least not regularly. In short, I am a bum that sometimes has money, but most often not.

No e-mails have arrived since then. And I am planning to have another Thailand trip. This time I’ll go to check out Pattaya. It will probably be like throwing a lamb to the wolves.

And the tree huggers, well they got one set of fishing stories, and the other got the other kind…

Stickman's thoughts:

The naughty stuff at Patong Beach is concentrated in a relatively small area, so if you wanted to avoid someone, it could actually be quite difficult.