From Patong To Patpong

When I first arrived at Bangkok airport after an 11 hour flight (and additional 2 hours of waiting because of a delay) from Zurich I was eager to find out how all the social interactions so well described in several forums on the web would present themselves to me in reality. I had great expectations from this genuine trip to the land of smiles and let me say this already, I was not to be disappointed in any of them. Not being a newbie to – lets call them pimp – trips I understand the rules of this game which is driven by sexual expectations of men and economic hopes and dreams of girls in less developed countries and they present themselves similarly whether you as financially (and hopefully sexually) potent visitor travel to parts of the world as different as Latin America, eastern Europe or now southeast Asia. I prefer Thailand over the other countries I visited due to the sheer open-hearted and friendly atmosphere which makes me want to share the plethora of experiences I gathered during my trip to Bangkok and Patong.

Having done my homework, reading sites as Stickmanbangkok.com as well as having acquired some girls phone numbers via ICQ I did not have much to do at all to get some company shortly after having arrived in my hotel room near Patpong road in the centre of Bangkok. I wrote some SMS to girls, got a call from one and was asked in which room I stay – she would show up in 30 minutes. I did not really think she would show up at all let alone so soon but I still took a shower, just in case. I lay in my bed and just as I was about to fall asleep, tired from the flight, I got a call from the reception that a girl is waiting for me. I was happy to have some company while waiting for my friend to arrive in BKK on a later flight and after she showed me around Patpong (nothing going on there at noon at all) and the shopping opportunities we went to a small restaurant to have a sandwich and something to drink. Much to my surprise she refused that I pay for the meal, which gave me a very positive first impression of my first meeting with a Thai girl outside of Switzerland. But as we anyway agreed to just being friends (her being well aware that there are about 1 million more sexy girls than her in BKK alone) there was no involvement from either side and I thanked her for showing me around.

Once my friend arrived I began to wake up from my jet-lag delirium for what would be my first nightlife experience in BKK. We headed to Patpong market where the stands were meanwhile built up. Being Swiss I have a certain fable for watches and was eager to see all those replica watches known from the internet in real life. I was positively surprised by both quality (at first glance at least) and prices so I bought some after trying to bargain a bit.

But lets focus on what makes Thailand the much sought after tourist destination it is (at least for young lads as us) – the girls! Aware of the fact that Patpong is a rip-off place when it comes to girls we headed to the beer bars near Nana Plaza. Drawn into a quiet looking bar by sweet girls filled with more sweet girls we had our first impressions of what would await us every night during the next two weeks. As I like to play a game of pool from time to time these bars are a good place to spend some time as having a go with one of those mini skirt wearing hotties certainly adds to the experience (and hell, where did they learn to play these cross-doubles so accurately!?). As there is at least one pool table in every bar you never run out of opportunities to improve your game.

That evening we met an old strongly built Aussie which was surrounded by a 20 year old especially nice looking girl. He called her his girlfriend but mentioned at the same time he has got 4 more in other places in Thailand. We were also surrounded by girls and I got some kisses from the one next to me but resisted the initial desire to barfine her and take her with me as our Aussie guide told us there would certainly be more options. We then moved to the three story horseshoe near nana hotel and had a look at the numerous gogo bars which all look so incredibly similar. Nonetheless it is an impressive sight and certainly tops everything else I have seen so far by sheer abundance of girls. As we only had 1 room for the two of us that night a sleazy tout managed to drag us into a backdoor brothel near Patpong where we could choose from a bunch of quite attractive girls, picked one, headed off for an hour or so to a room nearby and finally having a good sleep after quite an eventful first day in BKK. However things to come would prove to be even better…

Second day: after some sightseeing in the vicinity (Lumpini park, snake farm) we headed directly to Sukhumvit Road for the nightlife there. After a few beers and some fun with the girls from the day before we decided to try out whether the disco at Nana Hotel holds up to its reputation. Reluctant to pay the 400 baht at first it would prove to be worth every cent of it soon. Both my friend and myself had our lady for the night literally within seconds after entering the disco. Being the youngest 2 lads in a disco with a crowd of about 80%young girls and the rest being pitiable old tarts certainly alters your market value in a very positive way when compared to clubbing at home and the gazes you get from the dozens of pretty girls are just invaluable. I felt some sort of justice done for the incredibly arrogant and almost hostile behaviour you often get from girls in clubs back home and swore myself never to worry about such bullshit again and if I get too pissed…just take the next plane to BKK!

Dancing with the girls was fun and as the disco closed I asked if she would join me to the hotel. She said yes but only after having had this bowl of meat and vegetables in boiling water you can get near the main road. She appeared shy and calm wearing braces and as everything emerged so automatically and quickly I was hardly able to believe what happened, lying there in a hotel room in an exotic capital on the other side of the world, looking at the impressive skyline of Sukhumvit with a nice girl beneath me. Anyway I am the last to complain about it but I was happy we would leave to Phuket the next day so there would be no chance to see her again whatsoever. The next morning she joined for breakfast and would only leave me when we checked out of the hotel. I felt strange but the memory of her would soon fade once we were about to start experiencing the nightlife of Patong Beach…

Patong 1st night: After a cancelled flight we only arrived shortly before midnight at our hotel at the south end of Patong Beach but we were still anxious to see the raunchy bars at Bangla Road.

It's difficult to describe but when you walk through one of the numerous sois where there is one bar filled with girls next to the other you literally have to fight your way through as all the girls will try to drag you on their counter. There are worse things in life however. We talked to some of the girls from the bars and found out that the place to go was the tiger disco nearby. As it was already late we directly headed there, paid the entrance fee (in form of drink coupons) and were off to a once again impressive experience.

As Phuket is far more touristy than BKK there were of course more younger mongers around than in the disco at Nana but the number of girls waiting (or actively trying for that matter) to be picked up still exceeded the supply of men by about 2 – 3 fold. And in fact the sound was quite cool too, not much of that shitty hip hop but straight and actual dance sounds to get the girls in the right nasty mood for the night. I preferred the discos to the bars anytime. First of all you can wander around and look out for the really nice ladies more or less on your own without being dragged around all the time and marching through the packs of dancing cuties you don’t feel as being in a red light district at all which gives a much more natural touch to the whole thing.

I felt right at home there soon and got waved at by a very attractive Thai lady with which I chatted and kissed for a while. Her name was Rin and I guessed she was a freelancer as apparently 95% of the Thai girls in the discos in Patong are. However, being tired from the flight and already having scored the nights before I did not feel like overdoing my luck and give myself a break. Meanwhile my friend was more after the numerous Japanese and Chinese tourist chicks but found it obviously harder to get in touch with them. Anyway, with this disco around we figured we wouldn’t need to worry about are nightly entertainment in Patong for the duration of our stay.

2nd day: Heavy rain stopped us from enjoying a stay at the beach for a first time but with the numerous massage parlours around at hourly rates as low as a parking ticket in Switzerland there was always a plan “B”. As our resort hosted their own massage girls I could get an oil massage from one of them at my room which made her try to get me aroused but I was not quite in the mood yet and was just fine to flirt with her a bit. It got apparent to me that with the big oversupply of attractive girls, to stay more than say 2h with the same one is a real waste of opportunities. Who knows on how many gems you miss out by being too unselective. Back home this is not an issue because you have to invest so much to even get one to kiss you anyway but in LOS it really concerned me and was quite a mind altering experience. But it is also funny how quickly one gets used to the new situation.

Broadening our hunting territory we started our nightly fun at the banana disco which has a more farang crowd earlier on but then more and more of the nicely styled and sexy Thai girls drop onto the dance floor. As we were sitting on a couch a girl started a conversation with me and as I had nothing better to do I chatted with her a bit. Her name was Ohn and I felt she was strange in some way but funny nonetheless. She said she was on holidays for 2 days coming from Phuket city more on that later. As it got later we wanted to go to our favourite club, the Tiger Disco and we left her behind. Once at the Tiger I was usually already drunk to an extent which made me very relaxed and not asking too many questions when a girl clings to me which was soon the case. I knew I would not be taking her home as my friend and I still were sharing the room (intentionally to sort of limit our mongering) but that night I really enjoyed just kissing that girl we both being drunk and just mindlessly let our tongues play with each other while cool trance beats were stomping in the background. What a great feeling! Of course still not being fully used to this liberal style I felt strange when I finally headed home.

3rd Day: We finally decided to search for separate rooms at a guesthouse closer to Bangla Road. At 500 baht per night we found one which met our expectations: Air con, warm shower, and most importantly no joiner fee. I think we had another massage that day as it was raining again but I don’t remember. Anyway, this evening I had to spend alone as my friend was to go on a diving trip a 7 AM the next day and needed to pass on the fun. While waiting for the discos to get crowded I chatted with some bar girls for a while and found one to be very attractive. I found out however that I should be more conservative when making compliments as that women later SMSed me being a liar because she was probably disappointed I did not barfine her but being used to these sort of reactions from women it did not bother me at all. What bothered me was that I saw Ohn again that night at banana disco. She was already drunk when I met her and after 2 more B52s for such a tiny girl she was clearly not master of her conscience anymore. I did make the mistake and kissed her thoroughly and may have raised expectations in her. She made some strange game about letting me guess what her job was and finally said she was going with men. Well what a surprise I thought! As I was getting tired I tried to leave her but she said she wants to come with me. I told her it's not possible because I do not have my own room. I don’t know how it emerged but she was getting furious and ran after me saying she was testing me when telling me about her job. She drew out pictures of her in a nurse costume and said that this was her job. I don’t know what that whole thing meant but as I was tired and drunk I was just happy when she finally gave up and I could get to the hotel for a sleep.

4th Day: I checked into our new guesthouse which would finally give us the freedom to take girls home at will. As it was raining again I got a massage from one of the plenty just around the corner. This time special. It was ok and also lasted 1 hour. About the only thing I don’t like about the girls in Thailand is the negotiation part when it comes to compensate them for their time. When you ask them how much they want they would just answer: “Up to you”. Now I understand they expect more than the 20 baht you would hand the porter but how the fuck should I know what is too much and what is too low – I don’t want to upset them also. If they could just say what they want everything would be fine but maybe they are also embarrassed to ask for money. Anyway I am not the first nor the last customer and somehow this system seems to work. In the evening we went to tiger again where I basically took the first girl home I ran into just to finally have one in my room. She tried her best to make me happy, said she was uncomfortable asking for money and wanted to go to the more remote Safari Disco after we finished intimacies even though she said before she would stay for the night. Anyway I though I wasn’t keen on having this schizo girl in my bed all night so I let her go somewhat angry with myself for just picking this inferior girl when there would have been so many more nice ones.

5th day. Finally some touring which allowed me to take nice pictures for showing at home what we were doing all the time in Thailand. A visit to the almighty James Bond island. I wasn’t too impressed but the big number of mushroom-shaped islands around the national park there is surely special. Banana: I was reluctant to go there because I was afraid Ohn would show up again and in fact she did. Well, she immediately apologized for her outbreak two nights before which settled things. I just knew I did not want to get involved with her at all so again, routinely, we moved to tiger. Just standing in the corner beneath the bar watching the girls dancing I suddenly feel a girl dancing close behind me wrapping my arms around her waste allowing me to touch her bare skin. When I finally got to see her I was positively surprised, she looked cute, had short hair and a very slim body. Her name was Malee and what made her distinct from the other girls so far was the very passionate kissing which went on already in the disco. She was not watching around as we were dancing but only focusing me. I figured she was worth to try taking her home and it proved to be a good decision. As she was so tiny the noises she made were almost heartbreakingly sweet and high-pitched and she bit my neck quite intensely as if she wanted to mark me. I was glad I did not have to worry about a girlfriend at home whom to explain this as I am as single as one can be at the moment which for me doubled the fun of mongering around. My friend was equally successful that night acquiring a “girlfriend” with which he spent the following day…

6th day: As my girl left in the morning I was hanging around alone at the beach (I preferred that to the presence of a girl with which I could hardly communicate) listened to music and wrote down this text… My friend was spending the day with his girl on the motorbike and I was having a beer in a bar next to our guesthouse chatting to a nice lady called Ooy when he returned with her in the evening. They headed straight to their room and Ooy apparently realised I am bored. I told her I would take a shower and prepare for the disco later. She said ok she would join me. She came to my room and I was unsure of what her intention was as I was not planning to spend more time with her although I liked her because she was making a more mature and settled impression. She watched TV and I was taking a shower. After some hesitations she then also showered and inevitably we landed in bed together. It turned out to be the best sex I had during my trip, very sensitive and passionate. I would have been totally happy to leave it at that when we went back to the bar after that but somehow there was a misunderstanding I had to pay the barfine and she followed me to the disco which omitted me the chance to search my own “girlfriend”. But as I liked her I could not just dump her even though she always mentioned how many sexy girls there are. We finally went back to our room but the passionate action from before could not be topped anymore.

7th day: Ooy left early for the beach leaving me at the room. I went to the beach alone again after I slept some more hours as my friend was examining the island on a rented motorbike. Again I also had to spend the evening alone as he was getting some early sleep for a tour the next day. I was feeling strange that evening not as self confident as before and found it harder to get in contact with the girls. I am aware there are days like this especially after such an intense week in this exotic paradise. I was still determined to meet a real stunner that night and found her soon after entering our beloved tiger disco. She did not look Thai at all. She almost looked Latin with her long curly hair and open eyes and slightly taller body. I figured she knew about her attractivity but I wanted this girl. I got in touch easily and we soon kissed almost as intensely as with Malee. I thought I am on a good way as we were leaving the disco. Then she said that she wants money and thinks I would not pay her: Again this agonizing situation. But I was too committed already and said she would get what she wants. She seemed somewhat off the whole night already because she had apparently seen a guy she knew with another girl and I felt already she would not be the funniest of companies. But if I have put something in my mind I have to go through until the end and so she drove us to the guest house on her motorbike. I cannot complain about the sex though. It was very sensual and she moved her butt equivalently to her gorgeous dance moves. But then she said she would leave. I would have liked to spend the following day with her but she said its not possible to stay for the night. Ok then. At least I got what I wanted…

8th day: With my friend spending the day on a trip to Phi Phi island I faced another day alone at the beach but I learned to celebrate these silent moments laying in the deckchair watching at the ocean while listening to cool trance streams and trying to realize what's happening to me here. That is finally what holiday is all about. Relaxing and getting your mind free. The girls are just chaperones in this process, yet essential ones. Before going to the beach I went to the girl who gave me a special massage a few days ago. I always passed her when going out of the guest house so we always chatted a bit when walking by. I told her I only want a normal oil massage to pass some time and chat with her. She said ok and I undressed. The massage took its normal way but at some point she said she needs to go to the toilet. She came back after a few minutes with a condom in her hand. I thought ok she is going to give me a blowjob but then she undressed and asked me to do her. I think this was the strangest moment during these holidays as I really did not mean to go for anything erotic and then ending up doing the massage girl. I felt pretty odd afterwards because I liked that woman, she was also a bit more mature, similar to Ooy.

But as I am pretty sure she did not feel very exploited by me I thought I might as well enjoy it as much as possible. I tipped her a bit extra afterward but made clear that this was basically not what I ordered…

The last night I ran into Malee again in the Tiger Disco. It proved to be a wrong decision to take her home a second time as she was drunk and tired but I was not feeling too adventurous anymore anyway. I think for a first trip I have pretty much seen the lot. I was almost glad I could leave with the promise of coming back again soon as a permanent teaser in my head. I got a few SMSs from some girls already since I am back home which allows me to make a more subtle switch to the reality of the life of work again always being aware of the presence of this beautiful place with its beautiful girls which have made that holiday the best of my life by far…

Stickman's thoughts:

The fun of the first trip is so hard to re-capture.