My Submission, My Duty
After reading your site and especially your readers’ submissions for the last 2 years I feel it is my "duty" to report in on my Thai experience in regards to a relationship with a Thai girl. I hope it may help others contemplating a mixed race relationship, here goes.
It started in 1999, although I'd been to Thailand once before on a fleeting visit, this trip was the beginning for me, I met up with a friend of a friend, an expat from my homeland, he had lived in Bangkok for 6 or 7 years working as a private investigator, most of his work revolved around the same old story, farang goes to bangers, meets bargirl, falls in love, goes back to Farangland, misses his teeruk so bad that it starts to eat away at him (sound familiar), he then hires said P.I. to find out if his teeruk really is telling the truth, that she needs money to pay for her English lessons, or to pay for her families buffalo who is need of a new school uniform, or some other bullshit such as, mama sick need to see doctor, sister up the duff need abortion, or brother have motorbike accident need operation.
And guess what? In over 95% of cases, no probably 98%, it’s all a charade in one way or another to con the poor love struck farang out of some of his hard earned cash.
At the risk of sounding cynical I do want to emphasise the chances of having a long healthy relationship with one of these girls, is about the same as the old needle in a haystack story, sorry in that story at least there is a needle, which does give you a chance.
You would think that a reasonably well educated, company director in his forties, knowing the above, having seen this deception time and again would be immune from getting caught up in such a relationship, read on.
After about 3 years and 8 trips to Bangkok, my private investigator mate introduced me to a girl, she was what I'd term a "fringe dweller", she had never worked in a bar as such but for a few months before we met she "hung out" at some of the spots in Bangkok where farangs would go to get serviced, she wasn’t battle scared or hardened in any way, like so many other girls that spend too long in this environment, had I met her 6-9 months later it would of been too late, the fire would have by then been extinguished from her eyes, and she like the thousands before her would of been destined to a miserable life of drugs and prostitution.
I spent a month with her in Bangkok, then I returned to Farangland promising to bring her out for a holiday, and see if we had what it took to have a serious relationship, after 6 months of trying, my P.I. friend finally managed to help me get her a visa.
She arrived in April 2003, it hasn’t been all bad, hey there are some real positives, its nice at my age (43) to wake up each morning next to a 40 kg tanned hard body, the sex has been terrific, we get on 90% of the time, and she does her bit around the house etc.
Before I mention the negatives, I'd like to say that anyone who has met this lady would think that butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, she's late 20s, attractive, great smile, hey from the outside it must appear that I've really cracked it. How deceptive can looks be? Well here goes.
Firstly, to all you gentlemen out there contemplating getting a Thai takeaway from one of Bangkok’s bar areas and bringing her to your homeland in the hope of playing happy families, here’s what to expect.
1. You will always be #2, her family is #1.
2.to calculate her maturity level, in relation to a farang female, times her age by 60%, so in my case I’ve got a 16 year old, to get someone of similar maturity id have to get a 72 y.o. (yuk)
3. Her intellect, whilst at first not seeming a problem will one day get to you, there will be no discussions regarding, the share market, world peace, the theory of Pythagoras, local elections, apartheid, the g.e.c., inflation, the fave in the next at Caulfield, or anything for that matter of importance.
4. Lies, yes lies, you see the beast in question, will lie through her front teeth, (or any teeth that are available for that matter) in order to save face, you will not believe that something that looks so sweet and innocent can be so cold and calculating.
I’ve had many discussions with others who have gone down the same road as me and the above 4 things seem to be the most common problems we face. So what you may ask is the answer? Here goes.
If you want to participate in the shenanigans of Bangkok, (and why not? I’ve had some of the best nights in my life in Bangkok), here are 4 simple rules.
1. Go out and enjoy, don’t get attached.
2. New day = new girl, don’t get attached.
3. Remember Bangkok is a city of sin, not a dating / marriage agency! Don’t get attached.
4. This is the most important rule to remember "you can take the girl out ofthe bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl", don't get attached. And if you do really want a Thai takeaway, here are my suggestions:
1. You need to meet her in a supermarket, train station, shoe shop, market, department store, sports club, lift, elevator, doctors office, bus stop, (except the one in soi 4), dentists reception, bank, cafe, dry cleaning store, restroom, park, anywhere really except the areas in Bangkok that are nothing more than giant whorehouses.
2. Take time to get to know her and her family, really check out her pedigree, anything good in this world is worth waiting for, if you require "instant" you know where to go.
3. If there are any ???? whatsoever regarding your future teeruk, then be warned, the old saying "where there’s smoke there’s fire" really does apply when one is vetting a prospective mate in Bangkok.
So guys, go to Bangkok, have some of the most fun you will ever have, but beware "it’s a very small needle in one hell of a sized haystack".
Lots of good advice.