Readers' Submissions

Thoughts On My First Trip To Thailand



So I'm off to my first trip to Thailand at the beginning of April. I've always taken a hard look at my reasons for going, and in light of the recent posts on the subject of low-class hookers and the "losers" that frequent them I thought I would check them again and post publicly on the matter. I also thought it might be interesting to write down my initial thoughts and compare them when I get back.

First, a little background. I'm 34 years old, good looking, make a six-figure salary, live in a million dollar home, drive a seventy thousand dollar sports car, and share my bed (and solid friendships) with three different lovely women — occasionally two a time. Am I proud of the above? You bet I am. Is it the first, second, third, or fifteenth thing you'll hear out of my mouth upon meeting me? Definitely not. Why mention it here so quickly? Because several people, most recently Calibra, have intimated that it is only the losers and emotionally stunted that would go sex-touring.

Before we move into analyzing my reasons and expectations I think it is important to mention that I battled cancer for two years when I was 31. It was more fear, pain, and trauma than I had previously imagined possible, and I worked through it, like an idiot. It did leave a stain on my psyche that I don't know will ever wash away. So before you think to envy me too much, know that it's not all sunshine and giggles. I think that's true for everyone.

I have seriously wanted to go to Thailand for about 6 years, which is also about the length of time I have known of/been reading the Stick. My initial reasons for wanting to go were that I found Asian women attractive, and the sex and sundry would be cheap. However, for the first 3 years I wanted to go, it was always work work work that was in the way. There was also a good bit of trepidation at visiting such a foreign country that made it easy to avoid planning the trip and work instead. I did well, but my plans never came to fruition. Once I got sick it was simply a battle for survival and sanity that didn't offer any vacations. Now I am on the other side and I'm finally going. No more excuses! So why (and why not) am I going now?

I'm not going to Thailand to be a big shot. I could be a big shot here if it pleased me. It does not. The people interested in acting like big shots are usually those with the least means of doing so, either fiscally or personally. I have chosen to act like a big shot in the past, and am lesser for it. I am no longer interested in doing so. Why do I need to when I've already got so much? I much prefer to simply sit quietly, enjoy my beer and conversation, and observe the whirlwind rather than create it.

I am going to Thailand for the sex. Less so than I was before, but this is still a major reason. I tend to have a pretty high sex drive that has drooped (oooh, bad choice of terms there) a little bit in my old age and infirmity, but it is still above average I would say. Also, none of my regular partners is Asian, and though I do see an Asian girl on occasion, the draw is still there. From the pictures I've seen there is a variance, as anyone would expect there to be. I am definitely a fan of brown skin — I just am, though I know some aren't. I am definitely a fan of small breasts — I can't look at huge knockers and not wonder where they will be in twenty years. I am definitely a fan of petite women — even though I am 5'11", a 5'2" pixie still feels so deliciously delicate. Finally, I'm 34 and all my regular partners are in their early to mid thirties. Attractive women though they are, time is never as kind to our bodies as our minds, and it will be fun to bag a girl 10-15 years younger than me. I wouldn't put the effort into that here. Too many issues at that age. Am I a pedophile? No, I don't need to go younger than 20 to get everything I need. I wouldn't want to go younger than 18. On the question of whether I would want my daughter in the profession? No. But I wouldn't want her to be a lawyer or politician either, though I don't mind using the services of one.

I am not going for the deep conversation. There are very few people that can really blow my mind in a conversation anymore. Most of my friends, myself included, are so set in their ways that politics and religion are a pointless topic… there is just regurgitation of previous positions and the ever-so-slight shift of a granite belief system. If I really want fresh meat on those issues, I read. And while I have plenty of interesting conversations on other topics… well, exactly: I have plenty of interesting conversations on other topics. I don't need that in Thailand. If it comes up, great. I also find that most people everywhere are based in the majority of their mental activity, sixth-grade education notwithstanding. It seems like most people in Farangland at the moment are broken records about appreciating home prices allowing them to buy their next SUV or Plasma TV home theater system. Ugh. It doesn't matter if they are chasing an Escort or an Escalade, acquisition seems to be on the mind of most people on this planet. I'm off that treadmill, thank god.

I am going for the light conversation. I'm going for sanuk (as an aside I probably know more common Thai words than any initial visitor — just not how to actually pronounce them — that would be a good page to whip up). I will talk about the sun and stars, the wind and the water, and how funny that guy looks in his Speedo over there. I'm there to laugh and smile. To go dancing and drinking and sleep on the beach. I will enjoy hearing other's thoughts and beliefs… but I'm not there to espouse or champion mine. Probably do a bit of shopping too.

I am not going for a girlfriend. Dear god no. I will probably enjoy the "girlfriend experience" at some point though.

I am going for the culture — kind of. While I am definitely interested in seeing a temple or two, I consider the neon-laden club to be fascinating in and of itself. Is each any less indicative of the human experience than the other? I don't think so, and I am equally intrigued by both. Yes, I have touched the wailing wall in Jerusalem and found it — simply exhilarating — but this mortal coil consists of the high and the low, and each is within our psyche somewhere. When I am in each place, I find and experience that place… and then move on when it is time.

I am not going for the amenities. If I want amenities, I know where to find them. I will not complain if I find some filthy holes that require a little effort to get around.

I am going for the relaxation. Eighteen days with nothing to do. Oh glory! I am going to turn off for awhile. Work is a no-brainer reason for leaving, but I am also going to be "by myself", which I think is the nice way people have of saying "there will be no one around that it bothers me to ignore." No one that I can really hurt through inaction, and honestly no one that I care deeply about… and conversely no one that cares deeply about me. I think we all have varying need of this from time to time, but of course it is a recipe for true loneliness and disaster in the long-term. This doesn't mean I'll be an ass, but I will be just another farang on vacation, which is all I want to be.

So that's it. I think I can stop there and be in near full disclosure to myself and this audience of strangers. I think eighteen days in Pattaya with a variety of paid-for farmer's daughters can provide most of the above. So you be the judge. Am I a loser? Am I going to find things I couldn't in the states because I'm just not up to snuff? I don't think so, but go ahead and let me know if I am. And Calibra, before you suggest that I am in the minority, or I am "not who you were talking about"… I am going to the same places these other "losers" are. If someone chooses to play the loser (*cough* Soi Dog *cough*) that is on them, but grouping the entire lot of visitors in with them makes you look just as clueless and shortsighted. On a specific note? While I wouldn't choose either life, I pity Donald Trump far more than Cent.

Also, if anyone is going to be in Pattaya around the 3rd of April and wouldn't mind a newbie buying him a beer I would love to hook up and maybe do a bar run. Though I have read everything on the site, it would still be good to get some hotel recommendations and to go out with another "worthless guy" until I get my legs.

Stickman's thoughts:

With your outlook, I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. Looking forward to reading your trip report.