Letter From USA
I wandered into my trip to Thailand by meeting a stewardess for Singapore Airlines online and chatting with her on the internet for over a year, then deciding I wanted to meet her in person, then deciding if I was going to go all the way to Singapore I might as well see some other places, too. I am not sure how Bangkok popped up, but before I knew it, I was more interested in going to Bangkok than anywhere else, stewardess or no. I had about eight or nine months to read everything I could get my hands on, including your standard trip guides, language books, culture books, and travel agency guides I found online. I am single, so finding the time to do all this meshed nicely with saving the money to actually take the trip. I was as informed as any tourist could be about a place he had never been.
Of course, Bangkok being what it is, I also did lots of reading on some non-typical websites that included VAST amounts of information about the sex industry that caters to foreigners in Thailand. I knew where to go, where to bring my girls without hassle, how much a Penthouse model would cost, what a soapy massage was, etc., including maps of the action, costs, risks, numbers of girls, gifts to bring, etc. And, base as it may seem, these kinds of things are what I came to Thailand to experience, like thousands of other farangs have done and will keep doing. Reading all this stuff had me extremely intrigued; actually experiencing it is something I will never, ever forget.
My experience is mostly with bargirls (about 20 or so of them) in Bangkok and Pattaya, mostly, and with one exception all of them came from Isaan province, most came from families that farmed rice. Many of them spoke enough English that we could converse together. Several had friends that tagged along with us and so much of what I did in Bangkok involved small groups of people. I like happy people enormously, and without exception, the bargirls that hung out with me were very happy people. Some spoke fabulously good English. Yes, they came from incredibly poor families. Yes, the weight of family financial matters pressed down upon them, in some cases heavily. Yes, they were making lots more money in the bars than they could otherwise. But not in one case did I ever think that I was being taken advantage of. I was never set up or cajoled into shelling out more money than I wanted to. They did not sling guilt my way and in every single case, when it was time to part ways, they thanked me profusely. Several of these girls write emails to me, in their very charming pidgin English, describing their lives and happiness or lack thereof as best they can. I imagine it gets expensive for them sitting in an internet shop paying by the minute composing an email to me. And in not one single case have they ever asked me for money. In fact, I have received very warm and kind Christmas and New Year’s wishes, and even a Valentine’s Day set of kisses and hugs in an email.
I say this to those thinking of coming to Thailand like I did: These are beautiful women, who will show you the world if you operate from a point of view that treats them like people. Be generous and watch what happens. I took little, inexpensive trinkets to these bars and the red carpets rolled out for me. I bought bar managers a drink, mamasans dinner, and quite a few lady drinks. On the trip I am about to take, I have loaded up on these same gifts, by now adding up to several hundred dollars worth, but I operate on the theory that you have to be willing to give a little in order to get a little. Those bargirls were my tour guides through Bangkok. They taught me how to ride subways and trams, how to order my food, my water, how much to pay for all kinds of things (your prices will be higher by virtue of being a farang, but if you give the bargirls the money, they will get much better prices for you), which taxis to take and why. They knew where the American Express office was, how to get to Lumpini Stadium, how much to pay for a shirt, etc. In short, those girls quickly became my friends, and I had a FABULOUS time running around with them. [And as an aside, only one of them was really any good at sex.] It was all on my tab, but I would (and am going to!) do it all again in a heartbeat.
I have read numerous times on Stick’s site and other places that all these bargirls are after is money. True, money and some negotiation was at the basis of my meeting these girls and taking them with me, but my experience was that once that negotiation was out of the way, money never again came up. We never spoke of it again. We went and roamed far and wide and had a great time, going whichever way the wind blew. They had numerous opportunities to steal from me if they desired to and they did not. They always gave me all the change when they used my money, and in instance after instance, they tried to keep me from paying too much money for some product or service. Perhaps I am insanely naive, but my experience did not bear that money-grubbing out.
Allow me to illustrate. In Pattaya, after a night of very playful tearing-up-the-sheets-all-night-long action, I felt some movement next to me. The girl thought I was asleep. Next to me in the bed she was on her knees, naked, bowing down onto her hands, a prayer-like position. I asked her what she was doing and she did not want to tell me. I pressed her gently and she said that she was talking to Buddha. I asked her what she was talking to Buddha about. She replied that she was giving thanks to Buddha for bringing such a kind and generous man to be with her. I had just finished screwing this beautiful young woman in every position imaginable, having her cater to my every erotic whim for the equivalent of about a half-hour’s pay at my job back in the States, and here she was thanking Buddha, on behalf of her whole family, for bringing me to her. Even the most cynical person, the hardest-hearted among us, had he been there, could not have avoided being moved by that scene. I will never forget it.
I have hundreds more illustrations, too.
I definitely am headed back. There is something very special about Thailand. A pulse, a breath, a connection to something I have not ever experienced in many travels the world over. I had a very limited slice of experience and I also had one of the very best vacations ever. And ran into some of the finest people I have ever found in the world. Naive? Probably. But my heart was in it, as it is in everything I do. And Thailand gave me the most genuine sanuk I have ever known.
Nice to hear a positive story.