Stickman Readers' Submissions January 12th, 2004

Just A Story About A Bargirl

Anonymous Submission

I have a feeling that it is easy to write about being ripped off, felling used by bar girls hardened by their work in the bar. I have my experience which I would like to share. Just to make it less black and white.

He Clinic Bangkok

I am a Scandinavian writer. My work have brought to many places on this globe, and on to many places where sex has been for sale.

Two years ago, I arrived to Pattaya. A married man in my home country, but not more moralistic than knowing I was not just going to Pattaya to do some work. I ended up in a guesthouse. Picked up a girl from a go-go bar. A girl cold like a piece of ice. But she had her reasons… I did not know her life…so….After the short time, I relaxed before going down to the bar. I started to joke and have fun with a girl. Did not have any interest in taking her with me to bed, as I wanted to out of bed the next morning at 5 to go fishing.

But there was something with his girl I needed to find out. She was a widow, she said. One small child. Another girl tried to massage my shoulders to get the attention. Even if the girl giving me massage was a lot nicer looking, I was caught by something unexplainable with this strong built (not fat) typical Isaan girl.

CBD Bangkok

I will try to make it short. But the next couple of days I heard a story about a girl marrying a British man 13 years old. Of course in traditional marriage…not in a legal way. But still with the consent from the local monks. The "husband" disappeared, and in my eyes the sin sod was money paid to deflower a virgin. She then in a less serious ceremony, entered in to a relationship with a drug dealer. He was shot when she was laying in the hospital giving birth.

A year later she had to go to Pattaya, like numerous girls from her village. Because of her look, she worked as a cashier, but still taking a few customers. During 13 months she had 11 customers (me included). The first one, a French man had sex with her one time. But she was crying, and mother's milk was still coming out of her breasts.

Many people will think she was conning me with a story, trying to touch my heart, so she could rip me off…. in a nice way.

I was going with her to her little flat. I saw the picture of her little boy. The things she had in her flat told me a girl longing to go back. A girl worried every time her little boy was sick. She had just come back after being home a couple of weeks because of a sick child. She was sending home 3000 bath a month….the rest she earned she needed for the flat, house and food. She did not come up with a story telling me about need of money. She did not use all the sweet words they learn so fast. But she needed someone to give her attention, to hug her.

After I left, I promised to help her. Firstly I liked to have verified the story about the "husband". And yes, I got one photo from her wedding. With assistance of people in UK I located the man. And to make the history short, she agreed to leave Pattaya. He agreed to pay her a lump sum so she could buy a motorbike. He is know paying her 100 pound a month. If he stops,… I will use whatever power I have as a journalist….

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She has gone to school for a year. She stopped going to school after marrying the British man. I have been to her village and seen her four times. During the same time have my marriage gone the way which often happen. And she and me have decided to have a future together. I have a problem with her age 22 and me 42. But I have decided that this is nothing I can change.

So to the many being conned and tricked by bar girls….. remember they are all different. My girl, and future wife, was told by her mother it was may better to go back to Pattaya than staying home….. To ask the daughters to sell their body is not difficult. They do it without using the word…. and this way by local culture makes things more easy. The hearts of many many parents in Isaan is corrupted by the lust for showing of gold and new TVs. In the middle of this tragedy I med this girl, who is clever, thinking, reflected…. and far away from cold.

For those believing she still tricks me. How I know were she is? If you hear her drunken father once, her child and the chucks…… you know. I bought her a mobile phone not to control her, but to be able to keep contact quick if needed.

My short message is: If the bar girls rips you off, have a hard heart……it is very easy to understand if you studied the life in a small Isaan village for a while. Yes, Thai man are not all bad,…. but in fact they drink with no control…. and five percent of the population are using ya baa. Include the fact that a normal Isaan farmer only can have one rice crop a year. This gives work to the family for a total of less than 30 days a year! It is tough to be a young girl in this environment.

Saying all this about Isaan…. behind this there is nice and good people like all other places in the world. I am not ashamed of planning to marry an ex prostitute… in fact I see she did the only thing she could to take care of here child. But her father who sold her to the English man….. he will never have my respect.

Just one story…. about a bar girl….

Stickman says:

Forgive my ignorance, but have you split up with Miss Scandinavia over this? I'm just curious…

nana plaza