Stickman Readers' Submissions August 7th, 2001

A Phuket Surprise

By Warlord

On our first night in Bangkok we went to Patpong, we had a great night and decided to go for four in a bed. We visited a lot of the gogo bars and were quite drunk. Then we met two stunners with beautiful bodies to die for, who agreed to come back to our room for a session. The sex was good with one of the girls, but the other one wouldn't take her pants off. We thought she was just a little shy, but after they left everything clicked into place and reality dawned. Husky voices, silicone implants… yep, they were ladyboys! We laughed for days. Be warned!

He Clinic Bangkok

We flew south to the beautiful Phuket where we could combine days on the beach with nights in and around the sexual playground of Soi Bangla, in Patong beach. I was aware that these girls can be very convincing fibbers and that it’s easy to get sucked into believing that they like you or even love you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure sometimes it can, and does work, but in general it’s all bullshit.

It was my friends first time in the Land of Smiles and he was like a kid in a sweet shop. Its always fun to go to Thailand with someone when its there first time, to see there face when you take them to Patpong. For me, if I’m with a first timer its almost like its my first time again as well.

After a couple of nights in Patong, Phuket, bar hopping and bar fining some beauties, my friend met a particularly beautiful girl. I didn’t care for the bar too much and left him to it and went off to play on my own in Soi Bangla. The next day on the beach, he was raving about this girl and telling me that her best friend was nice and wanted to meet me, and that we were invited to their house that lunchtime for a home cooked meal! I said no. I didn’t really want to be going on lunchtime dates with bargirls, let alone ones I’d never met. That night however, I went with my friend to meet his girl and was introduced to a sweet girl called Kat. I didn’t necessarily want to hang about all night but my friend encouraged me to go with Kat so we paid the B200 bar fines and off we went to party. This is where the problem for me started. My friend was falling for his girl and wanted to see her again almost every night, and in a way I kind of felt obligated to see Kat. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I didn’t want her to feel offended and loose face if I wanted to butterfly, maybe I wanted to spend some time with my friend, maybe I just plain liked her and thought what the hell, surely another week with this girl couldn't hurt. I should have known better, but soon we were inseparable and me and teeruk would eat sleep and fart together. I didn’t realise at the time, but I had fallen for the bar girl patter. I was hooked. I felt that this girl was different. She told me that she hardly ever goes with customers and just talks to them at the bar. She told me about how she wanted to work in a restaurant cooking but just couldn't find a job. She told me how she loved me. My heart was heavy and sad when it was time for the taxi to the airport, and it was hard to hold the tears back. I thrust a few thousand baht into her pocket and waved goodbye. She didn’t ask for the money, I just gave it to her. Surely this girl couldn't be a hooker. I felt so sorry for this girl. Before the taxi even arrived at Phuket airport me and my friend were making plans to return in two months.

CBD bangkok

Back in England I busted my balls doing all the overtime I was offered and booked the tickets back to Bangkok, where we had a night of debauchery this time without accidentally pulling some lady boys, before heading down to Phuket. The girls were at the bar waiting for us. The knew we were coming as Kat would call me (and of course get me to call her back).

We had a good two weeks and it seemed our relationship strengthened. Oh My God! What on earth was I thinking of. It’s so easy looking back with hindsight, but at the time I was blinded to reality, like so many men are every day in Thailand.

My friends relationship with his girl fizzled out after she laid the “I have a family and I need several thousand baht as my mother is sick” trip on him. But, Kat was different. Wasn’t she?

Well, I returned twice more to Thailand that year to see Kat, and I was still under the belief that she was different. She was kind and she would make me laugh. Okay, she was by no stretch of the imagination intelligent, or a stimulating conversationalist, but at the time that didn’t seem to matter. To save on phone bills and letter writing I told her to set up an email account. She didn’t know how to so I helped her. She couldn't read or write English but she said a friend could do it for her. At one point we talked about the long term and marriage and it seemed we had a rosy future.

wonderland clinic

Then I had a call from her and she told me she was pregnant with my child. I hadn't been for about 5 months as there was no way I could sustain the life of an international playboy on my wages.

“My baby? Are you sure?” I asked her thinking it a little odd that she had only just decided to tell me. “Yes teeruk, I was frightened you'd be angry and wouldn't come back, so I didn’t tell you”, she replied.

I booked a flight for about a month later to go and see her. I did care about this girl and I wanted to look after this girl and our baby.

I arrived in Phuket and was gob smacked when I saw Kat walking towards me, waddling with her huge belly and her hand supporting her back. (Don’t you thing pregnant Thai girls look a lot more uncomfortable than pregnant western girls?) It felt strange walking around Patong with Kat. We visited the bar where I met her and saw her friends, who all congratulated me and gave me the old “good luck to you, you look after baby” speech. The other farangs seemed to look, and some would stare with looks of “shit, that could happen to me!” written all over their faces.

We went to the hospital so she could have a scan and other tests. The doctor confirmed that the unborn baby was approximately six months developed and that Kat was HIV negative! That would have been a shock if it was the other way round.

I spent the next few days with Kat, rubbing her belly and feeling our baby kick and move while we slept. Wow, I was going to be a father! Not exactly what I’d planned but maybe this could work. I still had lingering doubts about the whole thing. I know it’s far from impossible to get pregnant using a condom, but I couldn't remember one splitting or having any accidents.

I returned to England and confided in a girl at work. She told me that I should be careful, and somehow make sure the baby was indeed mine. In fact, that was pretty much everyone’s reaction. But I believed her. My little Kat wouldn't lie to me! Money had also come into the equation now. I had obviously paid for all the hospital fees, and when she asked me to send her some money each month how could I refuse, what with her carrying my child and all. B10,000 left my account and entered hers once a month.

I had a call from Kat when the baby had been born, she told me the birth date, and that she was now back in Bangkok with her mother and siblings, so they could help her cope with the baby. I was glad she had left Phuket.

I flew out again (this was seriously starting to put my finances in the red) and was met at Don Muang Bangkok by Kat and her family. Her older sister drove us to the rundown suburb in Bangkok where they lived and the wee baby boy was placed in my arms. Whilst I was holding the baby, the entire family seemed to study me intently. The baby did not look half western, but I put this down to him being so small, and maybe his features hadn't developed properly yet.

I asked Kat what his birthday was and she told me a different date to when I first asked her on the phone. She hadn't just forgotten, when I looked at her she looked embarrassed and changed the subject. I let it go. I didn’t want to push it when I was in her families apartment, but I had a growing anxiety that something wasn’t right here.

An older family member who spoke good English (married to a farang) kind of cornered me and started talking about money and insurance policies for the baby. I was very uncomfortable now. I had a niggling feeling that something wasn’t right, but I couldn't prove it. The older family member managed to cajole B12,000 out of me for various insurance policies for the baby. All the while Kat was sitting quietly looking embarrassed. Then I was informed that I should also be looking after the family. Shit man! What was going on here? I tried to feign that I didn’t understand and left the room. I wasn’t a rich bloke (and am still not) I simply could not afford all this layout. Due to all the flights to Thailand my bank account was in the red big style.

No one had actually asked me how long I was staying, so I told Kat I was only staying for four days, and four days later I boarded a flight to London.

Back at home I realised that I no longer loved Kat. Our relationship had changed. I guess the honeymoon excitement period had gone long ago. I was also unsure that the baby was mine. How I wished that I’d taken a lock of hair so I could have it DNA tested or something. I continued to send money each month. If the baby was mine I WOULD look after him.

I was checking my emails one day, when suddenly I remembered that I’d helped Kat set up her hotmail account. I logged in and tried the password we'd selected together and guess what… It worked. Why oh why hadn't I thought of this earlier?

What I found shocked me. There were several other men, some from Europe, and one from the USA all emailing her. And guess what? The three other men had also just had a baby with her, and were also sending her money! The very same baby I’d just had with her!

I called Kat and told her what I’d found out. I wasn’t angry, I just felt stupid. So many lies. Lie after lie after lie. I received a letter a week later confessing that the baby was not mine. It was in fact a Thai boyfriends from Phuket.

I have been back to Thailand, but not to see Kat. I'll have some fun in Bangkok before moving south for some scuba diving, or to a neighbouring country for a change. I won't ever get in another “relationship” with another bargirl. I understand now that they are just there to make money any way that they can. They are very convincing and it’s a way of life for them.

I was in Phuket last Xmas and I bumped into Kat. Yes, she has left the baby in Bangkok and returned to the bars. I just walked away and that was the last time I saw her. Now if I bar fine a lady, I make certain its for just one night. I'm sure if I took the same girl for more than one night I wouldn't get suckered again, but I'm not even going to take the risk.

Stickman says:

Oh dear…this is a really nasty scam as not only do you get suckered for cash, you get told that baby is yours, when it is not – and that is really playing games with someone's emotions. I feel that you showed great restraint by not going berserk when you found out the truth. I don't know that I could have restrained myself and the idea of jai yen would have gone out of the window. Sure, perhaps one could argue that saying someone was pregnant when they had always used a condom and never had a problem is perhaps a little unusual but still, you played the responsible role. How common is this?

nana plaza