Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who Is The Greatest Of Them All?
Let me start by giving you my background. I'm western, born in the 50's, extremely well educated, let's just say my education costs more than most earn in a life time. I'm very attractive, so attractive that when I walk down Sukhumvit Soi 23 girls scream from across the road how handsome I am. I'm so good looking I have had girls chasing me down the street. I can walk in to any massage place and get phone numbers, emails, Facebook pages – and all for free! I go to gogo bars and girls just want to sleep with me. I've joined a few online websites and all I have to do is post my picture and I get 20 – 30 emails a day from little princesses in South-East Asia telling me how amazing I am. Now I'm a modest guy so I'm not going to say I'm rich, but lets just say I live an international lifestyle. My business partners say I am a lucky guy, every Asian girl I have slept with has told me I must be pretty big down below and I am the greatest lover they have ever had. I don't know what it is but South-East Asian girls just seem to fall in love with me and I never pay them, even the gogo girls. Like I said, my business partners say I am a lucky guy.
Recently I was online (I'm very rich and good looking so I spend a lot of time online looking for girls on the other side of the world, preferably in poorer countries). I met this girl, she was different, she was half my age, tall, amazing body and she had a professional job, she worked in an office, photocopying documents and making coffee. Like I said she is not a bar girl. Did I mention she has a professional job? So after months of talking to her I decided to fuel up my private jet and go and meet her. She has never asked me for money, so I know she is really in to me. I think she actually loves me. How do I know? Well she paid for my street food once and even paid for a tuktuk ride! She is so caring she even got the tuktuk driver to take me to a jewelry shop to buy some jewelry for my mother. Women in the west would never do that!
I do have a few rules though that I think the readers should know about if they want to learn more about South-East Asian girls, since you can see I have a talent in attracting them so I thought I would pass on some advice the readers, as some here seem to be a bit less lucky in love than me. I never understand why guys go for bar girls. Admittedly most readers will not be as attractive or as rich as me but you too can have a girl who is half your age who really loves you and works in an office as well if you follow my rules.
Now some readers my think I am delusional and ask why would this girl who is so attractive, has a great career, is young, but also mature (hence she prefers older men) wants to go online to look for a guy who lives on the other side of the planet and is twice or more her age? Why can't she find someone in her own country? Some have said she probably has 4 or 5 guys on the go at once and just has to marry one of us and she gets to move to a nice country with a nice passport and live a good life. They are jealous. My girl is always on WhatsApp with me or Skype video, in fact when I don't reply she gets angry. I told you she loves me!
So here are my rules:
1) She must be a lot younger, that way you know she will be around when you die.
2) Meet her on the internet, most bar girls cant afford internet access, but a little South East Asian princess can.
3) Make sure she has a professional job. Secretary, admin assistant, customer service – that way you know she is not after your money or passport.
4) Meet the parents. I mean what parent wouldn't be happy with their daughter bringing home a responsible guy? I think most readers would be happy having their daughter date someone twice her age.
5) Intimacy. How to tell the difference between a non bar girl and bar girl in bed? Easy, let them wash you. A bar girl will bring out an inflatable bed and some nuru gel while a non bar girl will wash you down and be happy just using shower gel (this one works all the time).
I have written enough for now. I am getting on a little bit so my fingers are starting to hurt. I will being writing part 2 soon and will let you in on more secrets /rules and let you know how it goes with my South East Asian princess next time I fuel up the GulfStream IV to see her.
Good luck guys! I hope this submission gives you hope that you can meet a good girl out there and trust me if you take my advice you to can be like me.
Stickman's thoughts:
Hehe, too funny! For any readers who did not realise, this is a piss take on A Vietnamese Adventure Part 1 published
earlier this week.