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Bangkok Hellcats

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 15th, 2014
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



I need to write this while it is fresh in my mind. Even with a hang over smashing into my skull now would be the best time to remember the most details I think.

First a few pieces of background information. I have been to Thailand eight times. Almost all of those times I made stops in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. I have a smallish but still statistically significant sample its fair to say. In my last post that wrapped up my adventures in Pattaya for this year I was basically saying that sex and maybe even Thailand in general was starting to bore me. That was certainly true 24 hours ago before I arrived in Bangkok.

My impressions of Bangkok the last trip were basically favorable. I had some good women, made some friends and had an OK time. However my impression of Bangkok was that it was little more expensive and the options were less. My general feeling about Pattaya this year has been that there are more women, more bars and in general better value.

With that in my mind our story of my first night in Bangkok begins…

The morning of January 8th begins in Pattaya. I'm reflective and wrote a final submission to Stick. I get a final proper massage, spread the final tips around to the Hotel staff, check out and enter the car I had reserved. The car makes great time and I arrive at the hotel around 3 PM with the journey having only taken 1 hour and 45 minutes. The Sukhumvit traffic was 20 minutes of this.

I have the 7th floor suite at the Dawin which has a huge deck that overlooks the city and the pool area. I love the Dawin and love this room. The wireless is no drama and the staff is delightful. After getting things settled I make my usual pit stop to New York Pizza across the street. It's great pizza (if you like NYC-style pizza) for 50 baht a slice. I then head down to Lucky Luke's to see if any of my old friends are there. Nope. The place is empty and I recognize no one.

I perch myself at Big Dogs and have a beer. I can't but over hear a fresh off the boat sex tourist from Manchester asking his hostess where he can see a ping pong show. She tells him Patong. I really wanted to interject and give him some advice about the upstairs establishments in that area but realized it wasn't any of my business and my interjection may not be appreciated.

I stop by Stumble Inn thinking I might play some pool but all the tables are full. I peek inside Morning-Night and they have tables. I get my ass handed to me in a best of 3 series with one of the ladies working there. I won at least one game but in the end I racked up a defeat.

There really isn't much to Soi 4 at this time of day. Just drink and talk to old or heaver girls is all there really is. So I head back to my room to shower, relax and prepare for the evening. I fleetingly dabble in my mind about the possibility of changing my flight and leaving early. I had to pre-pay half of the room and if I cancel I will have to still pay the total most likely…the airlines are going to screw me if I do…ok I need to just enjoy my time and stop being a pussy.

Refreshed I head to Annie's bar..not the massage place, the bar across the parking lot. I go here every year, plays some pool and make some friends who disappear by the next year. I rang the bell since the place was empty which gets me off pretty easy. It's late enough now that the plaza should be heating up, so I head over.

I stop by Lucky Luke's again. Now the place is packed. I recognize the cashier lady who is the same. I end up chatting using her phone with some of the friends I had made last year. One girl was married, one had a baby with her boyfriend. It was really nice to talk with them and just say hello. With Lucky Luke's confirmed to be a complete turn over I move on to find new friends.

I take my first step out into the plaza. Normally I start at the ground level and work myself upstairs systematically. Then in my mind I remembered Stickman's review of Mandarin somewhere. I head up the escalator. This I think was a fateful decision that probably avoided me having my first night feel unwelcome because I am not Japanese. As I am heading up the escalator I see some girls in their gogo uniforms and a few other staff types hanging around outside and prepare to walk past them.

I am bombarded by staff from Mandarin and I think the gogo next door with "Hallo", "Welcome". My intent is to get a beer at Mandarin so I try to politely push through to the curtains. But…Yoyo and Ning were not having it! One girl grabbed each arm..it almost felt like I was being arrested lol. They said come with us we go upstairs. Wait upstairs for short time?, 10,000 baht ping show?…wait what? I want to go and have a beer in Mandarin.

Yes yes they say Mandarin is upstairs also. Oh..ok and I am led upstairs by my gogo enforcement women. They have beautiful faces and voluptuous bodies. They are not the wafer skinny girls I had been going for the last few weeks. These girls had a little meat on them and it looked damn good.

We grab a table by the back far wall. These girls are all over me in such a way that I was a bit embarrassed at first. I fix that with tequila all around. Multiple times. They were already buzzed and close to drunk I think when they first assaulted me but now they are raging. We are all dancing in the bar like its a dance club. I have the strength of will to repeatedly but politely tell the waitress no I will not buy you a drink. I did get the Mamasan two.

This is really over the top crazy but I just go with it. Ning's English is good and I find out she loves House and Trance. Rare I think. Well you girls want to go dancing? Yeah lets do it. It's only 10 PM but the barfine is only 600 baht each. What, really? WTF. Pattaya barfines were total bullshit the entire time I was there. Even in the dirty sois I often heard 700 baht for barfines. This is starting off well.

When I ask them if they want to go dancing there is confusion. They think I want to take them for free or something. The Mamasan comes over to explain. lol. I try and tell them no I understand I am not looking for a free ride. I say 4k baht long time ok? They say well how about 5k. That would be a good discount they say. Now I am confused. Eventually I realize they mean 5k for the pair! Oh! I want them happy and I say, "Look 4k each for long time , all night ok"? OH!!!! Finally everyone understands what is going on. I could have gotten a nice discount if I had gone with it. I guess everyone was so drunk that things were just harder to understand.

The girls head off to change and I finally focus on the girls dancing on stage. Woah! They are all some kind of hot. There wasn't a girl on that stage I would not have barfined. I was underwhelmed with the quality of the ladies looks in Pattaya but if you want to judge Bangkok by Mandarin well there is no comparison. Bangkok women are another level.

The girls come back and are just raging! At this point I email Stick to tell him, "Holy shit, I have some Bangkok Hellcats"! Almost like Stick is the Mayor of Bangkok and I want to thank him for running his city so well!

It's really too early for a dance club so we head to Hillary 2 just as the band is starting. They know the band, we make requests. We make drunken dance filled spectacles of ourselves. I can barely control the situation. They are slamming drinks like mad and all of us are dancing like crazy people. We get supportive smiles from punters, working girls, staff and the band a like. We were not negative or aggressive we were just going drunken bonkers. After maybe 45 minutes we head out.

I stuff them full of Thai food and insist they drink water. We get back to the hotel and they spend 30 minutes showering. I have to cut off the play by play here as those are the rules but at a high level I can say this.

* 2.5 hours
* 8 condoms

They wanted more and more and more. They totally destroyed me by the end. 2 a.m. and I for some reasons didn't want to go do more dancing. It was like trying to have wild animals in your bar and in your room. I have never seen a pair of women with that much energy, sex drive and I guess raging alcoholism as I saw this night.

They had a fire and a zest for life that I don't see from working girls really. Not like that. It was almost scary….no actually it was scary. It felt like every second was a second away from some sort of disaster. Luckily there wasn't a disaster. There was just me unable to move and happy to usher them out before they killed me.

These are the kind of women that you dream exist but they really don't anymore do they? Yes they do exist and they are in Bangkok. Sure I was their ATM machine but these women wanted to rage and burn the city down and they certainly did.

I have three more nights…I don't know if I can or even want to top that experience. It nice to completely lose control sometimes and give yourself to beautiful crazy maniacs like I did last night. They represented the city in a way that no one else I have met has. Great job ladies! See you in the next life.

Cheers,

American Ling