The Price Of Our Thailand Freedom Is Guilt And Shame Back Home

Dear Stickman readers,

In this article I would like to talk about the price we pay for our freedom from monogamous relationships in the West and the impact that our independent travels to Thailand has on those who make up our work and social groups.

Let’s start by discussing the lot of the average married man. What does this man have to endure day after day due to his decision to follow the life script that society has told him that he must follow? What do you see when you look in the eyes of the average married man? Are his eyes beaming with happiness or do you see blankness – a kind of dead look staring back at you?

The average miserably married man doesn’t get respect at work and he certainly doesn’t get it at home. He works an average job for an average wage. Wherever he turns he is put down, criticised and condemned – perhaps not overtly but certainly under the surface. He has a wife at home who’s job it is to control him lest he have dangerous thoughts of being a free man and doing what comes naturally to him and to all men – fxxxing as many beautiful women as possible. His wife nags him, criticises him, controls him, reminds him that nothing he ever does is right and that he needs to earn more money so she can spend it on useless nick knacks for the house. He needs to ‘man up’ and give her more money, more stuff so she can lead the life of the women she looks up to – the ones in her peer group and those on television and in the media who are beautiful and have married men who are taller, better looking, more muscular, higher status, higher earning men than her husband will ever be. It’s all about her – her wants, her needs, her desires and it’s always for more – never less – and it never ends. This is the woman who long ago stopped looking after herself and has gained considerable weight since the happiest day of her life – the day her man signed his life away – her wedding day. He has to deal with her negativity and constant demands for more every day – for the rest of his life.

You see – a man in his situation is between a rock and a hard place. If he doesn’t please his wife then he doesn’t get sex – and sex is something he is desperate for – after all – that’s why he got married in the first place. A man like you Mr Thailand adventurer – and your sex tourist buddies are a threat to her because you lot represent that which her husband has long since given up – his freedom. Her husband comes home and tells his wife about you and your crazy Thailand adventures. She listens to the stories her husband tells her about you going off having sex with beautiful people in exotic locations and alarm bells start going off in her head because you are close to her husband and are giving him dangerous ideas, which are a direct threat to her and her family. She knows only too well the true nature of men and what they really want because when she was younger and beautiful she was constantly viewed as a sex object by horny young men who would say and do anything to get into her pants. She knows that her husband is no different and if he were like the alpha males that she used to have sex with then she would never have married him – he would have had far too many options – he wouldn’t have been the “marrying type”. She can’t have you Mr Thailand adventurer giving her husband dangerous ideas that threaten her control. So YOU need to be controlled – through guilt and shame.

Guilt and shame. Powerful weapons they are. So powerful that the average man has no defence against them. Guilt and shame are the female of the species primary weapons of control. She knows how effective they are in controlling men. All she has to do is to make her husband feel guilty about some behaviour that she doesn’t like and cut off giving him sex and he will quickly stop that behaviour. If he doesn’t stop his behaviour then a strong dosage of shame is required – that will get him firmly under her control. She knows guilt and shame work brilliantly in controlling men as she witnessed mother using these weapons on her father when she was growing up. All her married friends sing the praises of guilt and shame when they get together to bitch, moan and complain about how their husbands are not living up to their standards and how jealous they all are of their beautiful model friend Erin who’s husband is a captain of industry and a leader of men who just earned another multi million dollar quarterly bonus.

So you go into work or you catch up with your married buddy and you can’t understand why he doesn’t treat you the same as he used to. He just seems different for some reason – like he doesn’t want to hear your stories of freedom anymore. Your male co-workers also seem a bit off. Word has gotten around – hushed tones prevail in the workplace “he is off to Pattaya again…what a filthy sex tourist…word is he also has sex with ladyboys…what a pervert” – a black cloud hangs over your head Mr Thailand adventurer – a cloud formed by the female borg collective who have you marked as a dangerous man who brings forth words of freedom to the men they are so desperate to control.

What happened?

Guilt and shame is what happened. Your buddy’s wife has used guilt and shame to ensure that he doesn’t follow your lead. He is instructed not to listen to you and to disregard your stories of having sex with those poor, uneducated Thai prostitutes who are “only interested in your money” – unlike her who of course is interested in her husbands personhood as a man and only wants what is best for him. How dare you inspire him with tall tales that there is a way to escape from the toxic western environment – that western women like your buddy’s wife and her “strong, independent female friends” has created lest you create followers – more western men who might also become refugees and escape from the West – to the land of smiles.

So remember Mr Thailand adventurer – there is a price to pay for your freedom. That price is guilt and shame. You are now the subject of it and it will be heaped upon you constantly by those around you who claim to be your friends, who claim to care for you and want what’s best for you. Guilt and shame gentlemen – pay the price – and pay it willingly for you have something that your married friends and co-workers do not have. You have something rare and valuable and worth holding on to. You are a free man. Don’t give up your freedom lightly – hell – don’t give it up for anyone or anything! Freedom and autonomy are the most valuable commodities on offer in this – the only life we know for sure we will ever live. You are choosing a path that brings you into close physical contact with beautiful people who don’t complain, don’t nag, don’t criticize you or condemn you and give you great pleasure in an exotic country free from the negative influences of western feminism. Doesn’t matter if you are not tall, good looking, own your own home in a fashionable suburb, have high status or <insert western women’s laundry list of requirements here>. You are now an ‘international dater’. Western women prefer to use the term ‘sex tourist’ to describe you. Notice that sex tourist sounds so shameful? Interesting…

You want to live the life of an international dater in places like Pattaya Thailand? The price is guilt and shame. Throw in lack of respect as well from your fellow country men (though you didn’t really have much of that anyway did you?). The price is hatred from western women. The price is losing your married male “friends”. There is a price attached to everything in life and people do judge you on your actions. Your actions are a reminder – a powerful jolt and a wake up call to the mass of men you know who are slaves to fat, moody, irritable, aging wives and screaming and yelling children.

Gentlemen – the Pretender – that filthy sex tourist / international dater will escape from the West shortly and will be in Pattaya, Thailand from the 23rd November – 16th December 2013. Should you want to catch up and exchange tales of freedom – the Pattaya Beer Garden is my favourite dinner destination prior to a motorcycle ride to Soi 6 or Soi Buakhao.

All the best!

The Pretender

Stickman says:

Interesting perspective which strikes me as kind of provocative but hey, perhaps that is how things are where you come from. I find that my married friends back in Farangland are happier than my married friends in Thailand, although it should be pointed out that my married friends in Farangland are married to women of various nationalities including an Aussie, a Brit, an American, a South African, a few Thais and only one is married to a Kiwi bird.

I am called naive when I say this but if I was ever in a relationship with someone who was as controlling as you describe, that relationship would end. Perhaps easy to say without being in that situation, I know, but there is no way I’d be prepared to live like that.