Stickman Readers' Submissions July 26th, 2013

My Thailand Story

I used to own my own cleaning company here in the UK, and I would always opt for Thai woman that applied for my jobs because the first one I employed (I will call her P’Dek) was just the best cleaner and loveliest person I ever met. I employed several more because I fancied them, but none of them were ever as good as P’Dek.

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P’Dek saw me in and out of love with an English woman over a 7 year period, and countless others ever since, and along with her 13-year old daughter whom I have known since 3 and her farang husband, they have always been my friends. P’Dek has been asking me for many years to come to Thailand, and frankly I knew nothing of Thailand and took little interest.

One wet, boring and lonely Sunday in April 2011 I joined ThaiLoveLinks, for no particular reason, and there she was ‘Tanida’. She was 30 years old with one daughter and more beauty than any Miss World or movie star. I was not a member, so I sent her an email that was pre-written by TLL and it read ‘Love at first sight’. Tanida answered my message much to my surprise, I soon joined, and soon left again to spend every possible minute on Skype talking with Tanida (I noticed she never left, even to this day).

Tanida worked at a hotel in Hua Hin. She confessed to 2 daughters (what did I care) and her family are in Thapsakea. She wanted love. Before long I fell in love over the internet and booked my flight for 16th August despite being a complete plane’aphobic.

I told P’Dek whom immediately insisted to come with me to meet Tanida and protect me. She booked her flight and we planned our journey. Tanida and P’Dek talked on my Skype and directly on the phone and P’dek approved.

Ok flight day, we drove to Heathrow, we shopped in duty free where P’dek encouraged me to buy Tanida perfume and a Harrods handbag. Waiting for the flight a Thai woman asked P’Dek if we were an item, and upon hearing we were not, our fellow Thai passenger started showing me endless photos of her daughter whom was 26 (I was 46 at the time), asking me to meet her. No chance, I was hook, line and sinker for Tanida.

Every time I went to the toilet on that flight, the Thai lady would wave a photo of her genuinely beautiful daughter at me. Then the air steward on the Thai Airways flight told me I smelt too good, and on landing and going through Customs, the customs lady who checked me wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and put it inside my passport. Welcome to a different world, the world of Thailand.

Tanida was waiting for me with two friends (a couple) and made a fuss of P’Dek and was shy with me. Tanida’s friend insisted we went in his car, and we drove to the Amari Atrium Hotel where I had booked 3 nights. Our rooms where not ready, but as soon as a room was available, P'dek told us love birds to take it. Once in our room it was like we had been in love for months. We had spoken everyday for many hours on Skype. Tanida asked me to take a shower, I did, and then she took one too. She came back in with a towel around her and sat by the window. I then asked her to lie with me (I was expected no more than kissing 55+), but she dropped her towel revealing an amazing body and she was completely shaven to my surprise… well fxxxing hell, and I mean fxxxing hell, this you ex-pats might forget does not happen in old Blighty.

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And we had (or I had) the best time, and then went for food in Bangkok and I saw my first ladyboy. It was great, P’dek got grumpy with me because I was shagging or eating. We took her friends to dinner and all was good. We had naively planned to get a six-month visa for Tanida, whom I had already fallen in love with over the internet (obviously). I shunned the lesbian touts thinking I was clever and we applied for the visa thinking it was a sure thing (at least I did). We went to Anantara Hotel in Hua Hin and had the best time – Thai food and endless sex with Tanida (thank god for Viagra).

Being that we were in love even before we met, off we trundled in a hire car to meet the family. Driving in Thailand, OMB that is an eye opener. Anyway, we found a nice hotel close to her family home. We picked her daughters up, one by one very far apart (in hindsight different fathers maybe?). They were sweet and liked the presents I brought from the UK. Back to the hotel, and off to meet the family. The family was very kind and lived in a big gated house (mmm) and off to beach restaurant with sooooooo many relations for dinner. I soon realised I was paying for this amazing dinner and it was amazing on the beach in the middle of nowhere, despite the large number of us, the large amount of food and all the soft drinks they drank, it was about £9 (lucky because while purchasing perfume and handbags in duty free at Heathrow, my bank account got robbed of £1400 which I still have never got back).

Anyway, without boring you too much, it was all strawberries and cream in love city. Her family cooked for me every day and revelled in my pink cheeks from the spicy food (addicted to chili now). Then I tasted durian and fell in love all over again. Their neighbours would gather at the gate to their house to see me, and they cheered when we went to the market to say goodbye to Tanida's mum (laughing, cheering, I just do not know). Back to Marriot Hua Hin, then off with a mental bus driver to Bangkok.

Whenever I read about the fatal bus crashes in Thailand I am not remotely surprised. We were packed (I mean packed) in to a mini bus, the driver drove flat out smoking and talking on the phone and at each stop, he talked for ages to other drivers and smoked again before putting our lives at risk again. Mental. Back to Bangkok and a dirty little hotel close to Nana that P’dek insisted on. Out in Bangkok for 2 nights I was staggered… really. I cried a lot at the airport, could not even talk even, I was in love.

Back in the the UK, I was wondering if it had all been real? Ok now I started spending real money, visa turned down, Tanida needs money, visa turned down again, more money. Until it all sank in. Was love not real.

Ok I learned the hard way, but did I? I had the best time of my life, with the most beautiful woman I ever had. £4k for the holiday, maybe £2k after, my ex-wife cost me to date around £431,000.68 ish(settlement) and I never had sex like that with her, or loved her like that.

Last year, 2012, I met a nice little teacher I had met on TLL (went to EZ massage 8 times while she was at work (thanks Stick I love EZ). I ran away from her with my Ayuthaya guide whom I went away with (to Hua Hin) after she showed me around the temples and she was lovely.

I am still in touch with my Ayutthaya guide who wants me to marry her. This year (next week even) I’m shunning all the girls I met on line and am coming to Thailand with a mate. We have 2 nights in Bangkok, and then off to Pattaya to stay close to LK Metro. We planned meticulously and we will be mongers I guess. I’m still using the power of the internet to set girls up in Pattaya (ThaiFriendly), but I hastened to add, I am still in contact with Tanida, despite all the writing on the wall, and I am not certain I will be able to help myself trundling after her!

The Power of the Thai woman over us Farangs (well me anyway). I just read Private Dancer and can see many similarities despite the different circumstance, but my addiction to Tanida hovers under the surface.


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