Busted in Bangkok

The best thing about Thai women is how easy they are. The worst thing about Thai women is how easy they are.

Where else in the world but Bangkok can you reliably have sex with a hot girl on the night you first meet her? And if you fail with her, there’s always ten more lined up around the corner. What a city!

Apologies for the long delay between posts. I’ve been busy.

Here’s a scenario which plays itself out a thousand times a day here. A man meets a sexy girl. She’s everything he’s ever dreamed of: fun, beautiful, easy-going and best of all she seems to really like him. They have a mad, hot affair and before he knows it he’s sleeping with her regularly. He can’t believe his luck. Then he starts to notice the messages from other guys. She tells him stories that don’t quite add up. He soon realises she’s done this kind of thing many times before. In fact, there’s a good chance that she’s got something similar going with another man at the same time as she has with him.

Sound familiar?

How about this? The relationships starts quickly and she seems crazy about you. She does everything she can think of to make you happy, going well beyond the call of duty. It’s so over the top that it starts to make you uncomfortable. You can see that her plan is to make you physically and emotionally dependent on her. She wants to paint you into a corner.

Meanwhile, she has no intention of allowing you to do the same to her. She’ll be keeping her options well open. There’s a good chance she’s actually sleeping with other guys behind your back, but even if she’s not she’s certainly flirting with them and keeping their contact details. Meanwhile, the slightest sniff of another girl makes her crazy with jealousy. Even if she's a prostitute having sex with multiple men a day, she’ll still throw the emotional book at you if you even glance at another girl.

Never more than a few days go by when I don’t hear an astonishing story about what Thai girls get up to in this fine metropolis.

Case in point. There’s a nurse I know. She almost exactly meets most Asian guys criteria of a dream girl. She’s cute, skinny, white and has a good job in a luxury clinic. If she was dancing in Baccara, the Japanese guys would be all over her. She’s had a long line of rich boyfriends. Her last guy drove a new Porsche.

A few weeks back, I was at a bar with this girl and my girlfriend. Newly single, she seemed very interested in meeting a fresh man. At the end of the night, we caught a taxi back to my condo and the nurse continued in the taxi back to her home. A few days later, I found out the taxi driver is now her boyfriend. Apparently he’d chatted her up on the way home and they’d had sex that very night.

Does this kind of thing happen in the West? Maybe sometimes, but not often. I hear stories like this here all the time.

It also amazes me what Thai women will put up with in relationships. I often hear of them getting physical and emotional abuse from men they love, and accepting it as simply part of life. A Thai girl’s body controls her behaviour in this order: first her heart, then her vagina, then her brain.

Many months back when I wrote my last post, I had two girlfriends: T and X. Both are really hot girls with good jobs and friendly personalities. Trust me, if you met them you’d be interested in being more than just friends. I was gradually easing T out of my life, but I couldn’t resist keeping her around at least some of the time. Hiding the two girls from one another was becoming more and more difficult and stressful. Eventually, the inevitable happened and I got busted.

It turns out they both knew a lot more than I thought. X had even copied T’s number from my phone. Eventually, she called T up and they arranged to meet and discuss their relationship with me. They chatted for weeks on the phone about their respective situations with me. They found out that I’d been lying to them constantly, had been on holiday with them both, had told both of them I loved them, and introduced them to my friends as my girlfriend.

This was a very dangerous situation!

How do you think popular girls with plenty of options would react to their boyfriend so blatantly two-timing them? Particularly when that boyfriend is a new immigrant to their country?

Once again, Thai girls never cease to amaze.

T called me up and told me she was upset, but forgave me. She complimented me on being a “genius” for being able to keep up the facade for so long. She said she was willing to continue with me if only I’d get rid of X. If possible, she would like to come and see me tonight.

X was actually at my condo when I first found out she’d be talking on the phone to T. Realising I was busted, I panicked and decided I had to get her out as quickly as possible. It was a volatile situation and I didn’t want things escalating, especially in my home. I told her I was angry she’d contacted T and she had to leave immediately.

Her reaction astounded me. She fell on her knees, grabbed me around the legs, burst into tears and begged me not to leave her. She told me she’d do anything to keep me.

Amazingly, months later, X and I are still together. T has moved out of my life, but this was my choice not hers. I’m pretty confident I could get her back if I wanted to.

These are popular girls with plenty of suitors better than me. I never give them money or expensive gifts. They have good jobs and are university educated.

Why would they accept this situation? It beats me. Amazing Thailand!

Of course, the problem with popular girls is that they get approached so much. Both of these girls have men hitting on them all the time, and sometimes they respond a little more positively than I’d like.

I was, and still am caught in a vicious relationship cycle with X. She keeps her options open with other men more than I’d like, I don’t offer her a chance for the serious future that she craves. My attitude is a reaction to her behaviour, and hers to mine. Because of this, our relationship seems doomed. But somehow we seem unable to live without one another. It’s crazy, but I must admit there are plenty of benefits to having her around.

Of course doomed relationships don’t only exist in Thailand. Men and women are so different, and so fundamentally designed to exploit one another that it amazes me people manage to stay together long-term anywhere. The modern world being what it is, no matter where you are, the chances seem slim of landing the type of successful lifetime relationship that was common 50 years ago. At least in Thailand you’ll have more fun and probably sustain less financial damage along the way.

The seductive nature of Thai women was once again demonstrated to me when a friend visited from home. This particular friend is no stranger to success with women. At home he is miles ahead of me. In the few years I’ve known him, he’s slept with the secretary at our work, waitresses at restaurants we frequent and a hot Brazilian girl he met at his theatre group, among other exploits. He’s also quite ruthless at dumping girls when he’s tired of them, and couldn’t care less about tears or guilt-trips. Bottom line, he’s no lonely inexperienced sap.

While out on a pub crawl with him, we stepped into a grubby go-go on Soi Cowboy just in time for the show. A lone girl came out and did an amazing pole-dance to a PJ Harvey song that put the regular Bangkok shuffle crew to shame. Think Salma Hayek doing the snake dance in From Dusk till Dawn. Here’s a YouTube link
in case you don’t know what I’m talking about.

She was beautiful, tall, sexy and covered in tattoos. She reeked of attitude. We ended up naming her “The Devil Woman” and my friend was completely mesmerised. For the next few nights he went back to her bar begging to take her out, but she was always busy with other customers. Eventually, he caught her on an off night and she took him out with a crew of her friends where he spent 10,000 baht on drinks and food. At the end of the night, she left him with a kiss and an excuse that she couldn’t sleep with him because she was on her period.

Over the next few days, he paid her 1,000 baht barfine on as many occassions as she’d allow, often taking her out for lunch and letting her go back to work afterwards, despite the barfine. Over this trip and the next he routinely spent thousands of baht a night on her. One night, he came home to find his expensive phone had disappeared during the course of the evening.

She never answered his emails while he was back home and often ignored his calls and made excuses for not meeting him while he was here. In total, over two visits, he must have spent upwards of 30,000 baht on her. He knows that she’s playing him and also knows that he’s acting like an idiot, but he can’t stop himself. Where she’s involved, he displays all the symptoms of a serious drug addict.

Despite all of this money and effort, he has never had sex with her.

The petty complaints I read online and hear from expats about Bangkok amaze me sometimes. This city isn’t perfect, but it’s really cheap and often you can get products and services of a quality comparable to the West at a fraction of the price. Getting ripped-off here still often means paying far less than you would back at home.

And for all the talk of scams, here is nothing compared to what goes on in Europe and America. Indeed, scams back home are institutionalised. Who hasn’t been stung by bank charges, real estate agents, cable TV contracts, excessive utility bills or unexpected tax demands? The Thais are lightweights compared to this kind of gouging.

Bangkok taxi drivers are a case in point. I hear complaints about them all the time, but people really need to get some perspective. Yes, sometimes you’ll have to ask a few before you find one who’s going where you want to go. And sometimes they drive dangerously and won’t use the meter. <And very occasionally they pull out a 12-ince blade and kill their passenger! – Stick>

But more often than not, you can get a taxi without too much hassle and the ride itself will be fine. If the guy uses the meter, which he generally will, you’ll pay 1/10th the price you would in a Western country. So even if he outrageously overcharges and you pay double, you’re still only paying 1/5th of what you would back home. Really, at such prices it seems petty to complain too loudly. These guys are not getting rich doing this stuff. And, let’s be frank, taxi drivers in Western countries are no angels either. Even with the refusals to take you, I’m generally in a taxi and on my way much faster here than I would be in London, New York or Sydney.

So here’s my put-up-or-shut-up challenge to those whose favourite topic of conversation is complaining about Bangkok taxi drivers. Increase your budget to what you’d pay at home and see what happens. Hell, take that budget and divide it in half. You can probably hire your own limo for that price here. Then, if you’re still not happy, feel free to complain away.

It seems my worry that moving here would nuke my career was unfounded. I recently accepted a job with a well-known multinational that’s the biggest promotion I’ve had in years. My new job title will be worth a lot of money if I ever decide to move home. The pay is high by Thai standards and easily enough to cover my living expenses, even though it’s less than half what I was earning in Australia. Low pay seems to be a fact of life here, and I'll have to get used to not saving as much money as I used to. I didn’t put in too much effort into landing this position, and the period between applying and being offered it was mere days. There are definitely opportunities to be had here if you look for them.

I’ve also had a good year investment-wise. I made a few big bets over the past few years that the Australian dollar was over-valued and world stockmarkets were undervalued. Despite all the problems in Europe, America and Japan, I had a feeling the world’s economy would muddle through, what with all the new consumers coming online in Asia and the constant march of technology. It looks like these bets are paying off and I’ve had returns of over 20% in the past 12 months. The pressure to secure a long-term income is now off and it looks like I’ll be able to stay here within my current lifestyle for as long as I want and not have to jeapordise my retirement.

As you can see, life is sweet for me at the moment, and moving to Bangkok was a good decision. My focus has moved completely away from chasing girls and into securing an income. I guess you want what you don’t already have. It’s been months since I’ve slept with a girl other than X, and to be honest I’m happy that way.

I’ll finish off on another of the naughty Thai girl stories I’ve heard recently. An office girl I know is engaged to a nice Asian guy living in another country. Despite this, she’s been having regular sex with a Thai man. The Thai man also has a long-term girlfriend, who’s currently studying overseas.

For reasons that you can only guess at the girl I know decided to stir up some drama. While in a hotel room with her lover, the lover’s girlfriend called and she discretely answered and left the phone off the hook so the girlfriend could hear everything. The ten-year relationship of the Thai man is now at an end, and all sorts of shit is flying around. Oh the webs they weave.

That’s it for another report. I hope you enjoyed it.

Napster

Stickman
's thoughts:

If you're seeking fun and adventure as a single men then it's hard to imagine anywhere that would beat Bangkok. The fact that most stuff is so much cheaper than home is the icing on the cake.