The Once And Future Paradise
We saw a personal Stickman in his latest post, "People With Problems". A man who has heard all of us so many times…and too many of us sound the same. For those of us that do not live in Bangkok…and live in the west…it is easy to create a fantasy of what it would be if you were there. But most likely we would all just be one of the paragraphs Stickman just stipulated.
The dream of being there is much more valuable than actually doing it. I don't want to make baht when I get a paycheck or if I do it will be from a US based multi-national. But some people are there and they have much larger balls than I do. They are living the dream long enough to make it a nightmare. They are doing it for us. I am not retiring yet. Certainly Thailand is very appealing when I do. How much do I have in my head that the people that gave me this knowledge did not have when they arrived. How much is that worth and how much do I owe?
I literally almost feel a spiritual admiration for the men that are there now and have given me what I have. Thank you huge balled men of Bangkok. I'm sorry some of you are doing half of the negativity that I would do if I was there. I would be in the sex maniac paragraph I guess. I would never lie about what I did but certainly I move there only to bang as many Thai pussies as I could. I mean there are plenty of beaches so why Pattaya?
What Stickman and all of you who are experts contribute is a few university degrees in not getting screwed by beautiful women whose soul is less attractive than their appearance in some cases. Seeing the last two posts sucked because I saw a loser trick a bunch of people and it reinforced the conventional wisdom not to talk to Farangs when I am in Thailand. Wouldn't it be great if that was not the case and the rule was people could basically be trusted?
That is not the way it is. When I am in Thailand I pretty much only deal with Thais. There is enough of the rest of you bastards in the US. So another wedge is driven into our larger community by a charlatan. That is extremely unfortunate. But whatever the day to day brings when I am away from Thailand the same thoughts go by my consciousness. A memory and a feeling that transcends what I would feel if I actually lived there. But nonetheless, thank you men of Bangkok for making sure I am as prepared as I can be when I arrive.
And then we remember…
A hazy memory still swirls in your mind when you open a beer at any bar anywhere. That song which invokes a memory of a feeling. There are feelings that become memories and visions that pull on you from somewhere deep inside your subconscious. Or maybe at this moment or a future moment you are lucky enough to actually be there…surrounded by rented smiles and raised bottles of Singha.
Once you have been there even once you are really always there. A normal life can't feel like that. Something that feels so nostalgic can not always be present. It has to arrive and depart at some interval to make sure you never forget it will go away and you have to treasure it. The years will pass by and too much exposure may dull you to how unique and precious the experience is. The environment may degrade and the smiles strain more and more every year but you are there for a reason. You're there because for a short time you can weave your own reality. And then as fast as your vision is starting to fully form you return to where you came from.
Freedom, Thailand is freedom. I'll go every year. In future years I will grumble that it is changing and comment on the days that are now gone. But I'll keeping going. As long as I return something inside me can get emotional about silly things that shouldn't matter. I can smile and know there is something to look forward to.
Be kind to each other. Buy a round for your comrades in dreams that sit around you. We all, where ever we come from, share something that is universal. We may be lonely, chained in a loveless prison or just insatiable. We are not the same men but we share a desire to enjoy life and have some fun. Most of us will find some fun. Some may find love or just pain. But as you sit there…enjoy the music, the women and the fact that for a moment you have a carefree life and can just be yourself. Smile because soon it will melt away and you will have to return home and be left with memories that remind you what you don't have in life most of the time.
Voices on Stickman will continue to provide the narrative to what is possible, advisable and self destructive. A faceless group of people who will take the time to paint what Thailand is and what it will make you in to. Thank you to all the writers, the next round is on me.
"They are living the dream long enough to make it a nightmare" – classic quote!
It probably sounds strange coming from someone who lives here, but I still believe for those who enjoy the naughty stuff that living (and earning) in the West, and frequently visiting Thailand as opposed to uprooting your life and living here is the way to go. Living in Thailand is great, sure, but you don't have the same intensity and euphoria that you do on a 1- or 2-week vacation!