Stickman Readers' Submissions May 13th, 2013

Thai Ladies Step Up

Step Up

I have been a visitor to Thailand for ten years and during this time I must have spent a good one and a half years on Thai soil. Now step up is a phrase that I first came across last year 2012 mainly because I was involved in step up myself. Please see my contribution by Papa My Thai wife with Money Back Guarantee.
I can I imagine a lot of readers are already aware of step up but I had never heard of it.

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The first time I heard of (step up) was in England 2012 when I had the opportunity to accompany a Thai lady friend to have her finger nails manicured and styled. The shop was owned by a Thai lady whom I got into a conversation with as I explained about my divorce to a Thai lady and she came out with the phrase (step up). Your ex-wife has stepped up. So now I am curious and want to know more about step up. I listened as she gave me her unbiased opinion that amongst her Thai lady friends a good 80% are looking to step up.

The explanation she gave was that a Thai lady will see her first meeting with a farang as the start of a career, her first job so to speak. Her first farang may well send her money each month and never take her to his country but it’s a step up. The next step is the farang who takes her to his country pays for the visas, gets married, the driving lessons, and generally supports her and her children. During this time she will have found out about your country’s laws regarding divorce and settlement.

Now this may well be over a long period – 4, 5, 6, 7 years – and the husband will be oblivious to all this going on. He has a beautiful wife and children, all is well and he may have mortgaged the house and sent money to Thailand to build a home because in the future he will live there with his wife and her family. All is great, he has a good Thai woman and she tells him she loves him. He has a good heart. Perfect, what a great life. Why do people talk badly of Thai ladies?

The dutiful Thai wife having extracted what she can financially from this relationship will think about an advancement in her marital career, a step up. She will seek another man to look after her. He will be wealthier than you and that’s it, the one important factor! The second factor is that he has minimal experience of Thai ladies! When she finds him she will groom him as only a Thai girl can. All the hours in the bar sweet talking to farangs are not forgotten. He promises to support her if she leaves her husband. Any financial commitment the new step makes is his commitment to her. He will go deeper into the financial abyss and he may well have given her money to send to Thailand as her mother needs an operation, a new toilet, the roof leaks. We are talking new tractors, not buffalo now! She has done this a hundred times in the bar, only now it’s just more noughts on the figures.

Ok, now the next step up is in place so the problem is to get there. Well, a divorce to the happy husband should do it, but it is a happy marriage so things have to be engineered to go wrong. It could be anything to cause an argument from constantly going out with the girls, no sex, family issues, money, anything to rock the boat. So you guys who had a perfect marriage that suddenly went wrong and you had no control over events and wondered what the f**k happened, this could be the answer.

The second time I heard of step up was in Thailand in March and it came from a hi-so Thai female lawyer who I had the pleasure to have an acquaintance with. (Thank you, TLL,
but that’s another story). Being involved with a divorce case she mentioned that her hi-so lady client was stepping up so it’s not just (please excuse the phrase) bar girls.

I have mentioned the phrase step up to a few Thai ladies. It is something that they know about and they would never do it but they have friends with bad hearts who do it LOL.

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This is just an observation taken in a light-hearted serious way. Take care, step up can be in small steps or if the lady is lucky, giant leaps. Also she will tell her last step she loves him. It’s the situation that caused the break-up. She is doing it for the family or children. She has no choice but to leave. You of course are being groomed as plan B in case the step up crumbles.


Having a late breakfast, my friend David and I were people watching in Pattaya on Second Road when an attractive European lady walked past. We both looked at her appreciating what we saw. She of course knew this stopped in her tracks, turned around and looked at us as if we were dog dirt on her shoes.

We of course noted this and continued people watching. Every time a Thai lady walked past and knew that we were looking at her we either got a coy smile or a wonderful full beaming smile as she knew that we appreciated the time and trouble she took to look good. I think it’s called femininity and that’s a lot more powerful than the equality European woman seek. The truth is they have the power they seek but society and equality have stopped them using it.

Stickman's thoughts:

I think this highlights the dangers of a woman who is in it specifically for the money. Sure, security is important to many, but I think this sort of thing is more prevalent with a certain subset of women. A woman who is willing to work and contribute to the marriage is less likely to want to "step up".

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