Stickman Readers' Submissions April 24th, 2013

1 Of 3 Reasons

Author Background:

Hello, I'm J.C. Stick and "Dave the Rave" may or may not remember me for my submissions to while I was in the LOS about 7 years ago? (Dave, remember that beer I got you from Laos for your birthday? Sorry about the three-piece, wool and cashmere suit and tie. I had just finished doing “a favor” for one of my ex-pat/military friends. I’m sure I looked like one of those embassy pukes or someone’s local bodyguard. And then you introduced me to "the Hoover"? By the way, thanks, it was a great experience!).

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But here's a quick rundown for Stick readers who don’t know me:

I'm Asian, raised and served in the U.S military until retirement, did a stint in Thailand for a few years as an "English teacher" (translated: love the fine women and used my education and background to prolong my stay in Thailand), then decided to feed my wanderlust, and ended up in the Philippines.

And I warn you, many tangents to follow – as I am writing this article under the influence of the ubiquitous Tanduay Rum – The preferred drink to imbibe during communal "one-glass drinking sessions" in the Philippines.

Okay, here we go.

“Why I don't Fu@k My young, sexy, beautiful Filipina Girlfriend Reason #1”

1. Anger

Some people love "angry sex". Especially, if it’s a “faux angry, violent” role play (i.e., a rape scene or a spanking). But I'm not one of them. Granted, when I’m reasonably sure that my current partner doesn’t comprehend “higher English,” I’ll slip in a, “Yeah, you like that don’t you, bitch!” Or maybe a, “That’s a good girl, take a little more now!” Or something else that’s purely ineffectual….)

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But when I argue with my GF, the last thing I want to do is have sex with her. They say that the Aquarius' (zodiac sign) best weapon is his hat. He puts it on and leaves! That would be me to a tee… I don't know if it's the fact that I abhor domestic confrontations or if I am just a lazy bastard that would rather get drunk and find another woman to fu@k; but it's a chore for me to stick around my own flat and endure the immature tirade that’s sure to follow any misunderstanding.

Of course it's half my fault. My GF is less than half my age. And I'm sure she hasn't dealt with someone who is a "veteran" of Asia."

What is a veteran of Asia, you ask? Among my ex-pat friends here in the PI, it is this:

a. You've fallen in love with a "bar/street girl" (at least once).

b. You've had your heart broken double that time.

c. You’ve been swindled at least half a dozen times.

d. You've been robbed at least a dozen times because you don't speak the local lingo (whether in a restaurant/store, traveling, or in your own house!).

(Tangent #1: I speak good Thai. Not great Thai, but GOOD Thai. And for those who are having trouble with the tones of the language, let me offer you a tip: just speak the whole phrase as fast as you can… because almost every Thai will understand the lack of proper tonal inflection when you speak hurriedly!

And although I’ve been in the PI for double the time than Thailand, sadly, my tagalog and visayan language skills are still rudimentary. Why? I haven’t invested the time and effort in learning the language as I did in Thailand.

Again, why? Because English is taught as a second language in all PI public schools! But don’t get me wrong, when need be, I use my Asian appearance and sparse local language skills to get over/by – usually resulting in some cute Filipina pu$$y, a “local bar tab” vs. a “foreigner bar tab”, or just a quick getaway before the PNP – Philippine National Police – arrive.)

And finally…

e. Most of your "expensive gifts" to your GF are living in a pawnshop – at ¼ it’s price – as we speak…

Granted "make-up sex" is awesome, but when I'm pissed off (for you Brits, "pissed" is totally different than "pissed off”), sex is the last thing on my mind.

(Tangent #2/Disclaimer: I have a lot of Brit friends here in the PI. They drink, they shout at each other, and many times; they fight amongst themselves. But if a non-Brit disses or speaks unhighly of any person or part of Britain, the same folks who were bashing each others’ head with a beer bottle quickly join up in arms and proceed to teach the "uncivilized savage" some realistic life lessons! God bless all of my Brit friends! I guess I’ll always be the token American among any Brit gathering here….and it’s ok.)

Now back to the topic at hand. Yes, I avoid sex with my young, petite, sexy, browned-skinned, doe-eyed, slim-waisted, well-endowed (top and bottom), nympho-maniacal Filipina when I’m angry at her!

I guess it’s all about expectations. What I expect for “my labors” (translated: I’m the cash cow. I am the reason everyone in my “circle of concern” eats and has a good life); and what she “expects” can be at opposite ends of the satisfaction spectrum.

For example, for me it’s simple. I take care of the kids (mine and hers), we take care of each other, then we have as much fun as possible!

Here is where the disconnect frequently occurs. Human beings are so adaptive that, when used to a certain situation, we always crave/strive for more…

Case in point, how many of us (Stick readers) thought of ourselves as “semi-Messiahs.” That is, we found a girl in horrible life conditions and “lifted” her out of her poverty and problems (e.g., debt, drugs, familial obligations, abusive local relationships, etc…); only to find out that she couldn’t care less about your kindness and gleefully went back to the life you considered “intolerable”?

And what about the “newbies” to Asia. After years of empathizing with them, I’ve decided that most people just simply need to make their own mistakes and learn the hard way.

In fact, I have long stopped trying to tell “cherry boys” how Asia works. I just sit back, watch the show/drama unfold and decide whether that individual is worth expending the resources to rescue and re-educate.

So there it is. Reason #1 is Anger. I am just one of those people who cannot fu@k someone I’m angry with. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t channel that energy into someone else (at some pretty good pressure/velocities/duration).

And for those with Asian partners, you will surely understand this: if you don’t “service” your Asian partner regularly (meaning: at least 2-6 times a day), they think you have another woman!

Well, this is the end of Part 1. The other reasons why I don't Fu@k My young, sexy, beautiful Filipina Girlfriend and the one reason why she thinks I don't will follow – after my next Tanduay “Philippine drinking session” (probably tomorrow!).

Take care,

J.C. Pantejo

Stickman's thoughts:

Don't put up with this sort of nonsense. Just move on to the next one.

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