Stickman Readers' Submissions January 31st, 2013

My Thai Wife with Money Back Guarantee

Really, money back read my story to see why! Some places and names are changed. I would just like to say as a humoured observation that an ex-bar Thai girlfriend or wife is similar to a second-hand, well-used red Ferrari. They can be expensive to run, look great, perform brilliantly and your friends want to jump in and have a go : ).

My name is Paul and as I write this it is January, 2013. I am a 65-year old Englishman living in Kent, England. It is an usual story. I met my wife who I will call Ning in Pattaya as a bargirl in August, 2005 on my first trip to Thailand. I have been divorced twice, both of which were farang ladies. I consider myself to have a lot of experience with the opposite sex but be warned, I still left my brain at Bangkok airport as they say to be collected on the way home. I went on a 3-week holiday to Pattaya with a good friend and work colleague. During the first week we toured the bars, met different girls experiencing the fantastic girlfriend experience that only a Thai lady can give you as they look into your eyes and pull on your heart strings and you are lost. How do they do that? It was great and the exchange rate was 72 baht to the UK pound…fantastic!

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I started to feel the need to have a regular girlfriend then after one night on my own I met Ning. She was tall for a Thai, 38 years old and was wearing a pair of well fitting jeans and a T shirt. Her hair was long, black and curly and she looked mixed race, more Latin but she was 100% Thai, an Isaan girl. I lost it when I saw the view from behind as she walked away to get my beer. I had seen her for less than a minute and I bar fined her immediately. Wwhy you want old lady like me? was the first thing she said, smiling. We stayed together for two weeks until the very last goodbye at the old Bangkok airport. I was 57 years old and I cried. It was heart-wrenching for me, a man of two divorces and many girlfriends.

Four long months later I returned to Thailand at Christmas, 2005. I had paid Ning a monthly allowance of 8,000 baht as she had left the bar. I really believe that she did leave. To cut a long story short, we got a 6-month tourist visa to the UK. Ning arrived in the UK in the spring of 2006. I remember meeting her at Heathrow. I arrived five hours before the flight arrival time just to make sure I did not miss her. On the drive home she slept in the car and I remember looking at her thinking Ning was the most precious person I had ever known, my three kids excepted.

I will point out that Ning has a son, then two years old. She was divorced from a Japanese man having worked and lived in Japan. Her son stayed in Buriram with her family. My three children from the two failed farang marriages loved her. Ning was a delight to be seen out and about with perfect manners and respect for me and I respected her. She was as only an Asian lady can be. I am sorry farang ladies, but it's true.

Later we were successful with a 2-year visa allowing her to work in the UK. Ning got a job in a well-known mini supermarket franchise about a mile from my house allowing her to send a large proportion of her money home to her family to support her son and I presume top up the family coffers. I never complained about this. Her reasonable English improved leaps and bounds. I was impressed. She was a devout Buddhist, praying for one hour most days. I got involved with Buddhism and I still practice it.

I am lucky. I retired early and am financially sound. We made plans to live in Thailand so Ning could be with her son. We rented a shop house in Cha Am. Her older sister and husband ran it when we were in the UK and later we decided as it was for sale to buy it. I put £15,000 down as a 50% deposit as the business was a going concern and Ning got a mortgage for the rest. She passed the right to remain in England test so she could come and go from the UK as she wanted. No more visas, brilliant, life was good!

As an avid reader of Stickman I remember reading about the problems that us farangs have with Thai ladies and thinking to myself with a bit of a big head that I had cracked it. I had got it right, me with my lovely Thai wife. I remember reading about the surprise sting in the tail ending. No not me. Please read on…

It is now January 2013 and we have been divorced for a year and a half. I will explain how that happened…

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We were in Thailand in May 2011 and Ning seemed to have a bee in her bonnet about bringing her son to England to live full time. I fully understand this as she is a mother but it was against the plan of moving to Cha Am. The plan was in one year we would move to Cha Am and live in the shop. Her son would go to a good private school. I explained if she wanted she could stay in Thailand and I would finance her. It was a resounding NO so Cha Am shop plan finished, she wanted her son to go to England.

I was happy with the idea of living in Thailand but not in the UK all year. I was 63 years old and I wanted to have the freedom to live in Thailand or the UK. Don't forget, we are still on holiday in Thailand. During a heated discussion she came out saying that if her son can't live with us in England for his education, we will get divorced. There were a few days apart, phone calls, lots of crying and my wife also cried : ) We decided to have an uncontested divorce so we went to the local amphur in Bangkok, both agreed to get divorced, had two family members as witnesses and in two hours were divorced. The cost was less than 100 baht and 300 baht for an English translation.

We came back to England in April, 2011 and we were still living together. It was just the same as when we were married. Ning still had her job and I took her to work every day as usual. I talked about the shop still run by her family in our absence, thinking that our plan may get back on track. It was a definite NO, a line in the sand you do not cross! Her son must come to England. With this absolute NO, a little warning bell tinkled in my head.

In September, 2011 she said she wanted to live with her niece 110 miles away in Bristol. Ning explained she had a job waiting to go to and the plan was her son was coming to live with her in her niece’s house in the UK. I agreed and I took her and her belongings to her niece, which was a sad day for me. It lasted 3 days again with tearful phone calls, I collected her and she returned home to our house and things settled down.

After the divorce came the problem of the name change back to her original Thai surname with various documents, one of which being the passport which was sent away to have her right to remain visa changed to the new passport. It was sent at the end of May, 2012. In August I started to see something was up. She was very quiet and kept asking about her passport (can I phone to see where it is) waiting and checking the mail. In early August her new passport arrived with the right to remain visa.

I remember the day well. It was a Saturday in late August and I could see she was troubled. I asked Ning if she thought about her son. Of course, she said yes and she wanted to leave the next Tuesday. I took her again to stay with her niece and this time it was final. Three weeks later she arrived back in Thailand, in early September 2012.

During the 3-week period she stayed with her niece, she called me and offered me £10,000, a part payment for the £15,000 I had invested in the shop. I was staggered. I had not mentioned money. She said her sister would lend it to her in advance of selling the shop in Cha Am. 3 days later she had transferred £10,000 into my bank account. This also meant to me that it was over and there was no going back for her.

Now my very good friend with whom I had first visited Thailand in 2005 suggested we both go back to Thailand in November 2012, which we did. We went to Pattaya and it was seven years since I had been a single man. I had had seven years of Thai experience and culture under my belt and I know how these women think WRONG, they still pull your heart strings and it's lovely. While I was in Pattaya it was my 65th birthday and we were in the Bodega Bar about Soi 12 on 2nd Road. There was a band on. I used to play in bands and I had not been on stage in 25 years. On my 65th birthday I played a couple of numbers, and it was fantastic to do that again so thank you, Bodega. I also met a lovely woman in the bar named Pha. This may sound shallow but on my 65th birthday I had played in a band and awoke in bed with a beautiful 32-year old woman. Now that for me was a good 65th birthday. She had a short name for me – Papa LOL. She stayed and travelled with me for 9 days visiting Bangkok, Korat and Buriram. She was fantastic company and we laughed a lot, She said she loved me (over my head that went). I said I had no money and she said she still loved Papa. In the western world if you read this you may class me as a shallow, dirty, old man and that's up to you. Or am I a 65-year old man with all my bits working if you know what I mean!

I had a fantastic time. I felt 10 years younger. I am going back again in May 2013 for 3 months to find a good Thai lady. How do you define good?

If you are still with me and my money back story, on the last day of my holiday in November, 2012 I arranged to meet Ning, my ex-wife. She looked great and she returned some of my clothes and a motorbike crash hat, items I had left at the shop in Cha Am. We talked and she cried. Ning said she still loved me asked me if I had a new girlfriend. I said nothing too serious. I showed her some photos of Pha and she said she felt jealous. Then she asked if I would be angry if she had another man. I said that was up to her as after all, we were divorced. In the vague conversation that followed it turned out for over a year her boss from the supermarket, a man two years older than me and a smoker with whom she used to question his hygiene said he would help her with the visa for her son and I presume be a guarantor for her son. In fact the £10,000 was from him not her sister. Also he was supporting her while she is in Thailand and paying all her son's visa and agency fees and if needed, flight expenses. I asked her if she was going to marry him and she replied that he had not asked her yet.

So that was why the line in the sand, no discussion about her son coming to England. It had been worked out over a year ago probably before the talk of divorce she had a choice me or him. At the moment her son's visa has been refused and is going through an agent for appeal. I really hope she does get it.

I still have e-mail contact with her and mentioned I am travelling to Thailand in May 2013; I am applying for a Thai driving licence and could do with a Thai for support so she said she would help. Perhaps she is now hatching a plan B in case her re application for her son’s visa is turned down and sees the Cha Am shop as a good alternative. Ning has offered to meet me at the airport and book a hotel for me in Bangkok. That is good as a friend but nothing more. That part of my life is finished. In fact I have a date already arranged with a very nice young lady, nothing serious though : ) Famous last words…

To Sum Up

We were living in England married and then going to live in Hua Hin with Ning's son at our shop.

Ning decided that she wanted to bring her son full time to England for an education. I did not agree. What about the plan to live in Cha Am? We get divorced.

Ning talks to her divorced supermarket boss about this, he gets his heart strings pulled and loses it and says he will help her.

Boss says he will fund Ning's flights, son’s visa, and living expenses while she is in Thai and suggests giving me £10,000 to make me happy.

So far her son's visa has been rejected and is going to appeal. It can take up to six months. I could be cynical and suggest she just used her son to get out of the situation she was in with me and move on.

Shaky ground for her boss if no visa is issued. What happens? He could lose all the money so far invested and she has a shop house in Cha Am.

He really is a good man. I know him and I told Ning not to hurt him.

He owns a supermarket and is fairly wealthy and a pillar of the community.

I am sure Ning has a plan to keep him happy as she is a good Thai lady. Aren’t they all?

And you know I don’t regret a moment of it! I had a fantastic life experience and I would do it all again. I hope I do it all again! Thank you and hello Thai ladies! You can't beat them so join them, as a customer I mean.

Remember, unless you are physically robbed a Thai lady doesn't steal your money. You give it to them so don't complain when it’s gone! How do they do that?

Stickman's thoughts:

I am sure you had your reasons but I wonder why you didn't want Ning's son the chance to get an education in England? That would have given him so many more options in life and very well could be the difference between him fulfilling his potential or being a waster!

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