Chronicles of a Farang with Good Thai Ladies and Bargirls, Take 5
First, I want to thank all the Stick readers who sent me positive comments on this series of submissions. I will continue to report it as the story develops.
Second, I need to back track a bit to clarify a few things that may not have been understood from the last submission.
In the last few weeks A spent with me, she and I were 100% exclusive to each other. We spent time together 24/7 and we were both falling into a very caring relationship. The sex was out of this world. She kept telling me how much she loved me and that she never felt this way since her first and only Thai BF, she claims she never felt love with Farangs but of course she did go out with them. I would listen to her and I would tell her I cared about her "too much", and I did, but I kept telling my self to be extra careful and not to fall for her.
Before I left to my home country, we both agreed not to see anyone else, that included her not seeing the two Asian guys (by the way, she had not yet met these two men, there were promises of meeting them in Bangkok after my departure). As far as I can tell, she had not met them while I was in Bangkok. She was with me all the time and one of them was supposed to arrive a month after my departure back to the US. The other one was to arrive early 2013…I know, A showed me all the SMSs…
At home, I would be working my ass off to pay my bills and to save enough money to go back to Thailand. I was not the least interested in dating any one here, even though I had a lady friend with benefits that I am able to see once in while. But as of yet, I am not interested in seeing her.
On the other hand, A has a lot of options in Bangkok being a very pretty girl with many Farangs and Thai men after her, So I was not under any illusions that in the weeks ahead, she will not see some one or some ones for some comfort. Although she is still working at her job so her time is limited, but that never stops a Thai lady from anything…
It is now over a month since we separated and we contact each other for hours every day, even during her work hours. My work office is in my home so my time is very flexible. For about 4 weeks she and I made sure we stayed single and I believe it to be true on her side. I certainly did. I was too busy with work and no time to date nor there were that many easy options anyway in my home town, unlike Bangkok. You guys know how much work is needed to find, court, date and sleep with a Beautiful girl in the US.
Then one day, about 4 weeks since my Bangkok departure, A told me she had to go with her girl friends somewhere, to the mall I think, and I did not make much of it since she had been 100% reliable in communicating with me and sending SMSs and pictures of her whereabouts.
Then she made a fatal mistake, she sent me a pictures of the mall where she was supposed to be at with her friends. There was something wrong with the details in the pictures. She was not in it nor her friends were and the time of the pictures was not correct. It was 4 AM my time, 7 PM Bangkok time, so I was half asleep when she sent it. I had talked to her only a couple of hours ago. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep but the brain gears were working. I jumped up and studied the pictures carefully. I noticed a few things that were wrong and I decided to video call her. She did not answer right away as she had done every day for weeks. She would send an SMS every now and then and she would not answer my questions directly, a clear sign of being guilty as charged. I knew she was with another man, not with her friends any more. I think she had left them in the mall to meet a guy.
I sent her a message: "You are done lying to me, we are finished, up to you" and I went quiet. After about 45 minutes, enough time to get out of her date's hotel or finish dinner (she later told me she was with him in a restaurant, yeah right!) she started to send me lie after lie of where she had been. I can see she is panicking and she is making it worse by more lying, very typical of guilty Thai woman. I kept being silent on the texts and the video calling for a couple of hours. She must have sent me 30 – 40 messages. I was pissed she lied to me and she tried to cover a lie with layers of lies.
She sent a picture of her face with her eyes red from crying and she looked really scared or better yet disappointed at her self for messing up. I did not respond, then the classic "you don't love me", "I am so sad" and "I love you too much" messages kept coming in. In my mind I was done with this shit. It was actually the lies upon lies that pissed me off, not the actual going out with another man. At this point, it did not matter if she slept with him or she just had dinner with him. I did not care. It was just too much work to figure out the truth.
I have noticed that some of the online girls actually do not sleep with the guy on the first date or two. They go to dinner with him to "gauge him out", to see if they like him enough to sleep with him AND, most importantly, to see how much money they can ask for. I think A did just that.
That day for me, and night for her, we talked on video for over four hours. I can write another two submissions about what went on, but I do not want to waste your time more than I may have. She told me this guy she met for dinner was one of the Asian guys who came into Bangkok early and he called her last minute to see if they could go out for dinner now and then go out the next night. I told her I did not believe it. She then took pictures of her SMSs with him and emailed them to me. It was actually true. He came in earlier than expected and was going to take her out for dinner the first night (which he did) and the next day they were to go to the movies at 10 PM. Perfect for a return to his hotel later! She actually told him in the SMSs she might not be able to go the next night. It was too soon for her to fabricate how she would not say good night to me from her room and slip out to meet him. She swore on her mother's life, her daughter's life and on Buddha that she only went for dinner with him. She changed her mind after our long video chat and would not meet with him ever again. She promised me on her daughter's life! I not believe…Thainglish!
At this point, I was asking myself (as I had a few times while we were together) what do I need from this encounter. Notice I said encounter, not "relationship". I am being very frank here about how I felt. I initially wanted a regular GF, from these online dating sites, who I can trust and have fun with and who does not want a walking ATM. Now after all this hassle and emotional ups and down and the efforts being made into trying to figure out the truths from the lies (a daunting task for me at this time), it was just too much work and emotionally taxing so I decided to relax a bit. Let A be herself. I would enjoy her as a great companion and as a beautiful lady. Remember, I do not live in Bangkok so when I go back to my home I am to expect her to seek some comfort with another man.
A had gone out of her ways to make me happy and to prove herself that she was committed to me, as much as a Thai lady could, and I was not under any denial. She is still a Thai lady.
My only requirement was for both of us NOT to sleep with anyone else while we are together. I discussed that in great details with A, and she spoke good English so she understood well and agreed. She said she would wait for me and she would not have sex with another man while I was gone. Now I am not fooling myself. I will NEVER know for sure if she would keep her promise, and This Is Thailand so I will assume she WILL break her promises. But I have to admit that while she had lied to me quite a bit, she had made huge strides to be straight with me later on and she kept me happy and satisfied in many ways.
Another thing is, I have gone almost cold on bargirls. I normally keep in touch with them while I am away. I would call them and email them, some of them email me and of course I politely would email them back. But I am not at this point interested in taking them out when I go back to see A. If A and I do not click again, I have a few back up "regular working girls" to meet and start this crazy process all over again. I bet A has a similar plan as she is very very smart for her young age.
As a side note, my cost of living and having fun in Bangkok had dropped to about a 1/4 what it used to be with bar girls…and the GFE is far better.
A and I still talk / video on daily basis a lot! We talk for hours on Skype, we send each other many text messages, emails and pictures. We are enjoying each other even at over 20,000 km apart. When I see A again in a few weeks, we both are hoping to pick up where we left off and enjoy each other's company even more.
The worst part about my experience with the supposedly "regular working Thai lady" is the constant worry that she has one man or more on the side just waiting for their turn. How many submissions on this site tell the same story again and again? Too many to mention. I thought I did my home work, but I was still facing the same issues that these submissions talk about. Even with the few so called hi-so people I know, the cheating is almost a daily routine in their sexual life. For us Farangs, this cheating/lying is not easy to understand let alone accept. For Thais, it seems the normal thing to do.
The best thing about my experience with the non bar girl, is having the best GFE in my life, the feel that the times we were together we actually felt like a real couple, There was no money for sex, she even paid a few times for us and now we are still in touch and having fun chatting and getting to know each other even more. The cost if going out was far less then with bar girls!
Amazing Thailand…So true!
I hope to do another submission in a few more weeks when I meet her again…If I do not write anything, it means we got married…
I'm amazed that after all the crap you have been through with her and the complete lack of any trust that you continue to see her, especially as it seems to be emotional for you, and not purely physical.
As far as being faithful goes, remember the results of a recent international sex survey by Durex showed that around 60% of Thai women and roughly the same percentage of Thai men are NOT faithful in long-term relationships. What that means is that you have to take more time and extra care when searching for Miss Right.