Stickman Readers' Submissions September 11th, 2012

Hate Mail: An Invitation to a Venomous Australian Woman

As everyone knows who has posted essays or stories or comments on websites, at one time or another it’s almost certain that you’re going to get some hate mail. This is particularly true if you post on a site with a lot of traffic, as with
StickmanBangkok, and the site consistently and relentlessly focuses on matters related to sex, and very often prostitution. The stakes are raised even further if there are numerous postings and exchanges dealing with western women and most particularly
feminists. I would image that Stick has received enough hate mail over the years to meet his Sunday essay needs for several months running. I’ve received several dozen in the last seven years, some quite vicious and seething with hatred
and envy, and even highly personal.

This morning, a Saturday, I got two hate emails within a half hour from a person who is apparently an Australian woman. She had some genuinely choice words and damning accusations to throw at me, some of them clearly libelous. Exactly which
of my many submissions got her so angry I have no idea. Whatever, I thought it would be worth sharing what she sent me, and the response that I sent her.

He Clinic Bangkok

The hate emails came from someone who goes by the name of Emma Denty, and who is—one can infer from what she has written—Australian. It’s not possible to put a number on her age, or whether she’s a feminist, or
exactly what her agenda is. It’s even possible, of course, that the note was not from a woman at all; there are more than a few men who read and post to StickmanBangkok who have squirrel balls. Whatever, here is her first note that arrived
a few minutes after nine in the morning, followed by the second one that came in about a half hour later, sent apparently because she (?) realized, I would guess, that she just hadn’t let it all out, and hadn’t also gone after Stick,
who she thought deserved nearly as much venom as she wanted to shower on me.

Emma’s First Missive:

does it ever end …..your dribbling mouth, your a pedo thru n thru, u love young girls n boys, that for sure.

CBD bangkok

sick motherfxxxer

Emma’s Second Missive:

nt even be bothered reading your dribble…..and that stickman kiwi, living there in a third world coutry, he wont make shit in NZ, any kiwi with a brain is here in oz…..but not old stick…why….no qualifications, he will just be a $20 an hour labourer here and not a good one…….that cxxt is iin thailand becoz thats his best option………you write on his website becoz thats your best option for people to read you…..both of you are on a pimping asian whore site…..that is a fact………

we dont need you….your just free entertainment, and not that good at it…….

wonderland clinic

i would neverspill my gut to a website for attention

29 years in asia

i never seen you, and dont wanna


Dear Emma:

I’m sorry to see that I have written one or more pieces that have appeared on StickmanBangkok that have caused you to be so obviously venomous with me, and even with Stick. I do wish, in my case, that you had been honest and straightforward
enough to identify which piece or pieces got your back up, and even better the quite specific things I said that drove you around the bend with wild and utterly untrue accusations. Whatever the issues that are eating at you, it has long been my
belief that when a woman goes over the edge, and particularly at a man, she is in need of a very good shag. Or perhaps several of them. To bring reason to her noisy and irrational mouth and mind, and simply to relax and enjoy the very best that
a man can give a woman.

Now’s here the deal. I will be happy to provide this service to you and free of charge (normally I charge for this, and at rates much higher than the priciest hookers in Soi Cowboy). But in order for you to receive my well recommended
services, you’ll have to meet several requirements.

You must be between the ages of 18 and 26. Occasionally I’ll consider someone as old as 28 or 29, but you’ll have to plead your case if this old.

You must be at least five-five inches tall and not weigh more than 110 pounds. If you happen to be as tall as five-nine or five-ten this is even better, for reasons that will become apparent once you find yourself the lucky recipient of my
renowned services.

My third requirement is that you not have obvious stretch marks. I don’t in fact care if you have had a child or two. But if you evidently show the cellulite and belly sags from childbirth—sorry, no go. I am quite choosy and
can afford to be.

You must have nice full lips and good white teeth, and morning breath that smells like spring dew. This will be no problem if you don’t smoke, consistently use a toothbrush and dental floss, and are in the habit of brushing your teeth
after giving a blowjob.
You must not have saggy breasts. This should not be a problem if within my acceptable age range and you have not breast fed for more than a month or two.

My sixth requirement is that you be uninhibited. What I mean is that once we are in the room I expect you to quickly disrobe and move about the room as if you have never worn anything since the day you came out of your mother’s birth
canal. Incidentally, if you are in the habit of closing the bathroom door when you have something personal to do, as is the practice among women in countries like Australia and the U.S., I’m afraid you will not qualify to receive my services.

Another requirements is that you must be impeccably clean. Again, as with being tall, the reasons for this will be obvious once you are with me.

Now we get to other essentials. I guess the best way to get through these next requirements is to tell you how I treat all women. When I am with someone for the first time, I take her to a nice restaurant (four- or five-star) and we share
one and sometimes two bottles of wine, one of my choosing, one of the woman’s choosing. I almost always get a table with a tablecloth that reaches to the floor, because before we leave, and usually about halfway through the second bottle
of wine, I will expect the woman to get beneath the table and give me a slow and satisfying blowjob. Desert, if you like. (For as long as I can remember I have had what among traveled men is known as the Warren Beatty virus. You will know what
I mean if you have a sense of history.)

After dinner, I will take you to an entertainment venue: live music, dancing, a comedy act, a play—but never to anything like a rude and crude Patpong show where bargirls are dropping gold fish into jam jars from their vaginas. I am
a man with taste, this foremost.

Once we find ourselves in the room, there are various possibilities, all pretty much dependent on my mood. Maybe I’ll take you half clothed against a bedroom wall, or in a plush armchair, or on the floor and against a side of the bed.
(Incidentally, you need not worry about getting floor burns on your ass; I have large and caring hands.) There are other possibilities: the shower beneath the showering water, or perhaps you leaning over the balcony if there is a good moonlit
view that I can enjoy while giving you pleasure.

If we get home rather late, we’ll probably go for a slow cowgirl ride so I can relax and enjoy some cognac while you’re giving me pleasure. Then I’ll let you sleep until about three in the morning. That is my normal time—has
been for many years—to get up and have a glass of Merlot and compose another essay or story to send to Stick before lunch. When I return to the bed, usually by four or thereabouts, we’ll get down to some serious shagging. Maybe too
a little Russian and quite possibly some Greek, and then if you’re as clean as I demand I’ll spend a little time at the Y and treat you as you have never been treated before.

Yet another requirement, and this is a sine qua non, is that along about ten in the morning, some days on toward noon depending on how long it took to write the Stick essay or story, I expect a warm and loving wakeup call—a blowjob.
Tender, with lots of tongue and generous lips, and using your fingers, properly trimmed, to proper effect. And of course…

Well, I think this pretty much covers my list of requirements. Just about the last thing to note is that the only cash that will pass between us is what you will be required to pay me on leaving if you do not live up to expectations and meet
my needs as broadly outlined in this letter. Finally, the sooner you contact me the sooner I will be able to send you some acceptable dates for getting together and where to send my first-class air ticket and the name of the five-star hotel and
type of suite to pay for in advance of my arrival.



Stickman's thoughts:

I reckon Emma's a man and probably someone who reads everything on the site but is bitter about something. Sent in a submission once and it was turned down? Sent a moronic email to Korski who gave it the sort of reply it deserved? Or perhaps drools over women in Asia but is impotent and even Viagra doesn't help. Who knows? But more importantly, who cares? Emma is a nobody.

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