Thai Bargirl in the USA

I am 44 in Los Angeles, Ca, USA. I am single with a long term girlfriend but we aren't very close… she is one of my best friends but sex has never been a priority at least not sex with each other.

I saw a couple xxx videos of Thai girls and holy shit, they are beautiful! I determined to get myself one. I found a couple hostess bars in Los Angeles and lo and behold there were some really hot girls dancing in bikinis and talking to you in exchange for drinks.

Aom (I don't want to give her real name) is a real beauty… I want to say she is the prettiest girl I have ever seen, but there are a lot of pretty girls out there. Regardless of that objective measure, I have never been in love like this before. She is perfect – 25 years old, 5 feet tall 90 pounds, and a really sexy dancer, and special in a way that went right to my heart like few girls ever have. Strong. Kind. Smart. Hard worker, hardest worker I might have ever met, dancing for strange men for not a whole lot of money.

I fell in love immediately. I went back a couple times, spent a little too much on tips and drinks, and got her number.

The thing is, she isn't a hooker… When I flashed her a bunch of hundreds early on, she explained that not all girls in those places do that. She really appears, after knowing her for almost a year now, to be just a dancer, basically a normal girl with a sexy job. She dances, she has drinks bought for her, but she doesn't like being touched like some of her colleagues and everything about her when she is offstage is kind of… chaste. It's very confusing because my God, when she dances it she really sells it.

She is honest with me, as far as these things go. No thii rak, no bullshit, no real teasing except when she is onstage, no dates… we are friends, I like to think.

I profess my love all the time and she tolerates it but while I do believe she is mildly positively disposed towards me personally, she has made it clear in her words and manner that I am never going to get that. When I offer to buy her a house, she says I shouldn't do that. When FINALLY I ran into her on the street, she accepted my offer of coffee, but it was plain she would have preferred to be alone. Greng jai… it was a big disappointment that she was so unenthusiastic, but always polite.

So, my intellect is good with the whole situation, she is a beautiful young girl who is friendly, a lot friendlier than any other beautiful young girls I know, and a sexy dancer. I never expected her to even talk to me when we met, and the fact that I plainly love her has made it so all the other girls in the bar treat me great. The services she offers, dancing and a little backrub, are great adult entertainment value. Her colleagues touch my junk, I am thinking of taking one of them up on the offer.

But my heart is fxxxed! I can't think about anyone else for almost a year now, all my thoughts are bent towards this girl, morning, noon and night. Sometimes I joke with her that I know she is a kind person, because if she wasn't I would have missed my rent months ago.

I KNOW that if she fell in love with me the same way I would be the happiest man in the world… I know I am right to think she is just plain superior. I love that she has a sexy job, I don't want a prudish girl.

How in the world do I stop thinking about this girl? I have mild crushes on other girls, and I am chatting with several girls in Thailand who I expect to visit someday, I still have my girlfriend, but when I am honest with myself I know that Aom is all I want, the only girl I love, and I hate myself for not being younger, cooler, richer, prettier, whatever reason it is that she doesn't love me.

I already know the classic remedy… get another girl… but it is hard to imagine loving a girl like I love her, and I feel like I should hold out for that special feeling… and someone who feels the same about me. But if not her…? I can't wait another 44 years.