Readers' Submissions

Why I Love Bargirls

  • Written by Anonymous
  • December 15th, 2011
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

After reading through Korski's very good submission, I just wanted to add my thoughts. One thing I generally dislike about Stickman submissions is the amount of generalization and stereotyping; i.e. all middle age men marry girls from Isaan, they are losers at home, etc. Korski seems to avoid this and many "facts" really made sense to me. For myself, I am fairly well off, speak decent Thai and continuing Thai classes and married to a non-bargirl close to my own age. Having said that, I love the bargirl-farang interaction and I am not really looking for a mia-noi or a long term bargirl relationship outside of my 5-year marriage.

Korski mentioned how many farang are exploited by their desire for affection and love, while I would argue just the opposite occurs in many instances. The fact that a bargirl is looking for more than just sex and may prefer to leave the industry is exploited by many farang, including myself. By portraying yourself as an understanding, well-mannered, fun loving, clean cut and successful, younger guy, the girls will latch onto you in hopes of a better life or maybe just a good time. Although you might be married and have no intent of a long term relationship, the bar girls don't seem to go into detail and are with you for the night or nights together. Some might argue this is in fact lying where you are offering false hopes but I don't see it a whole lot different than bar hopping in the west where girls go home with whatever guy tells them what they are hoping to hear (and of course the girl doesn't even get paid afterwards in the west). One fact bargirls I've spent time with are completely astounded by is when they ask me about hooking up with girls in the west and they are amazed that western girls will sleep you for free and just for the fulfillment of a great night of sex. I tell them that its different at home as normally girls have decent jobs and don't need the extra money. Some Thai bar girls have told me that they don't really need the money but if it's offered, they'll take it and I always offer at least 1000 baht simply because I don't like the feeling of taking something for nothing.

This money for sex makes me feel somewhat demeaning at times. I want a girl to sleep with me because she is attracted to me and enjoys sex. The thought that she could just be acting for the sake of money would really turn me off. About half the time I look for a girl with a normal job and take her on traditional dates up to a point where we connect and want to sleep together. The problem with this method is that these kind of Thai girls aren't normally up for just a 1 night stand and are looking for a little more, even though they aren't expecting to be paid. I generally prefer some of each…the dancer stripper who might be a great actress but still makes me feel like she wants to be with me and then the normal girl that isn't just going to screw because you ask her to but you will be expected to put some effort out before you sleep together.

I guess the number 1 thing I love about Thai bar girls is the feeling of power that I have in Thailand. This feeling would be lost on people like Stickman that live full time in Thailand as they start to forget what its like in normal society. For example, in my hometown it is normal to visit the local nightclub and have 30 GUYS FOR EVERY GIRL! Mind you this is a small town but just the same, even in larger cities it is a huge imbalance of fit, young guys for every even half decent girl. As well, many girls in the west go clubbing in groups and are already involved in relationships and are simply going out to boost their ego with no intent of picking up anyone (but of course will accept any drinks bought for them). When I enter a club like Hollywood, Insomnia, etc. and see the stunning girls that are not only truly single but are looking to hook up with me, and they are so far beyond anyone I could ever dream of scoring in the west, it just affirms in my mind why I love Thailand. It must be the exact reason why girls in the west go out to clubs predominated by guys as the feeling is of power. Its probably the closest I will ever feel of becoming a rock star. Girls actually want you and you are more desirable than some other club patrons unlike the west where you must be tall, muscular, tanned and very attractive even to get a phone number.

The best part of clubbing in Thailand is the confidence you get when speaking to other farang girls, No matter how hot they might be, I can smile and say hello without any worry as they have to now play their game just to get me to focus on them. Whenever I am at a club in the west and see a girl being played by 5 different guys, I just smile and think that I am one of the only ones who knows the secret…Thai girls are waiting for farang and you are guaranteed to score adm its all just an airplane and cab ride away.

One thing I have found about countless Thai bar girls and normal Thai girls is how easy it is to have them fall in love with you. It seems to be as simple as being considerate, respectful and a sense of humour and laughing. One you are in bed, making them feel like they are the only girl in the world by giving them multiple orgasms through oral stimulation and light kissing all over their body is all it seems to take to get them to sleep tight against you and make no plans to leave in the morning. It makes perfect sense to me as if I ever met a girl in the west who had money and gave me great sex, why would I dream of leaving? You might consider me deceitful for not telling them the truth about my wife but I just look at it as 2 can play at the same game. For every guy that is misled about love and feelings from the heart, there are an equal number of Thai girls who are also misled. I don't behave like this to hurt anyone; its simply that the sex is much better when the girl is aroused and makes love with feelings….just the way you feel it in the way she kisses you, her breathing and her moans. There is only so much that can be acted and beyond that is real.

I am not an anomaly. I have met countless guys the same as myself in Pattaya…guys who have money, are young, fit and simply love sex with beautiful women in Pattaya. I see Pattaya changing into a more affluent city over time and I know no where else in the world where someone can play the same as in Pattaya. Las Vegas is nothing is comparison as you know from the start its all contrived and make believe. Sure, the girls might be playing you in Pattaya but so what….have you never shed a tear at the movies when its still just a bunch of paid actors? When I drive around Pattaya now and see million dollar homes, a Lamborghini and Ferrari dealership as well as gentleman clubs opening, I feel it's a step in the right direction. As much as I love Pattaya, what I wish most is the sleaze would disappear and that can only happen by rising prices. I would much rather pay 150 baht for a drink at a nice club surrounded by beautiful girls and not have to see any scum or smell the street sewers. Some of the human garbage on the sidewalk at Beach Road is simply disgusting and the sooner they move to the Philippine or Cambodia, the better. I want a city of high end homes, hotels, shopping centres and go-go bars / beer bars staffed by beautiful whores.



Stickman's thoughts:

Pattaya is moving upmarket, but as that happens I think the naughty nightlife industry will get squeezed. It won't necessarily go away, but I think it will get eased into more confined areas.

If you want up-market, in Thailand that really means Bangkok, or possibly Phuket.

I find a creepy undertone to this sub – but then maybe that is just me.