Readers' Submissions

Thailand: Why I’m Not Going There



Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

These are just my random thoughts on why – for me at least – a trip to Thailand would be a very bad idea at the moment. Your thoughts may differ.

I’m going through a divorce from a Filipina I met and married while living as an ex-pat in Cyprus. After a great deal of effort, time, money and emotional turmoil I managed to bring her to the UK. The story is documented in the ongoing ‘Told You So’ series of submissions. It is not going well, and won’t end well I suspect.

A week or so ago, I had some thoughts of going to Thailand for a holiday to get all this stuff out of my system. I’ve been there once before – for five days – when I went to join my Thai ‘fiancée’ I’d met in Cyprus. We had some issues when I got there concerning finance and intelligence (she thought I was wealthier than I was and she thought I was more stupid than I am) and her immediate and unsuccessful request for me to ‘build a house for Momma’ led to a sharp exit from LOS. Had I found the ‘Stick’ site before I went I could have at least spent a few quid and come home with a smile.

With my much increased knowledge of SEA ladies through personal experience and a (highly recommended) thorough reading of everything ‘Stick’ has to offer (I can’t help but wonder if the authorities here in the UK offered degree courses in ‘Stickmanism’ adult literacy would leap forward) I would like to think that I’m a bit older and a bit wiser.

Well, the ‘older’ bit is certainly true but anyone who’s read the ‘Told You So’ stories will realise that wisdom (or even common sense) can be elusive. ‘Too soon we get old, too late we get smart’ as Garrison Keillor put it so aptly.

To put it bluntly, although my life back here in the UK is pretty good and I’m generally happy, there was a feeling that it would be good to go and ‘let off some steam’. I’m (luckily) in a position where I could do so. I have the cash (maybe without dipping into the credit card but I’d even do that if I needed to). I have the time, no commitments, and I have nobody that I’m answerable to.

I confess that I am attracted to SEA women, the appearance, etc. I found some good deals on the internet for flights and packages, most of which I could have paid for in my ‘spare’ budget for the month. I almost ‘clicked’ the button.

‘Almost’ – but I didn’t. And here’s why.

I knew that within a week or two I could have been in Bangkok or Pattaya or Phuket. Within a few hours of getting off the plane I could have been ensconced in the ‘loving’ arms of a young and nubile beautiful girl who wanted to love ‘only me’ for long time. I would have been entranced by her beauty, her ‘innocent’ ways, her soft and silky skin. And the sex, it goes without saying, could have been mind-blowing. Within two days we’d have been planning a long-term future, without doubt.

That’s why I’m not going to Thailand. I consider myself to be a ‘gentleman’ – that’s not to be self-complimentary, just to distinguish myself from others with different traits such as the accomplished monger. For me the ‘FFF’ scheme doesn’t do much and even in very ST P4P situations in different countries I would at least like to buy the lady a drink afterwards and say ‘thank you’ and hope she’d enjoyed the (brief) experience as much as I had. Respect and politeness costs nothing and can bring big rewards.

There’s a common theme in submissions to Stick in the ‘girl done me wrong’ stories. Guys who have gone through or are just going through difficult divorces or break-ups, guys who’ve had some bad experiences and need to work it through. Guys who need to rebuild their self-respect and self-esteem. Vulnerable guys, in other words.

Where better to go than Thailand – or a neighbouring SEA country – where any number of attractive women will build you up and convince you that you are, after all, a real man and an attractive man at that. They can (or at least they’ll give the appearance that they can) heal the wounds and you’ll forget the pain. There’s a cost to all this, of course, but unless you’ve experienced it and learnt your lesson or you’ve read about it all on Stickman and learnt your lesson, you won’t come to your senses until it’s too late.

Sadly, too many of us find it hard to learn the lessons, however much teaching we receive.

So I won’t be going to Thailand anytime soon. I’ve learned one lesson (perhaps the most important one). Right now, I’m just too vulnerable, I’d be too ‘easy pickings’. I know how I’d react when presented with the opportunities TL has to offer.

But maybe in the future …



Stickman's thoughts:

A wise decision I think. Chiang Mai, the north or anywhere well away from available ladies would be fun…but then are you ever that far away from it all anywhere in Thailand?!