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Stupid is as Stupid Does

  • Written by Yards
  • November 9th, 2011
  • 38 min read


I got the phone call around 10 30 am in the morning whilst I was in my office near Silom area in Bangkok and it was from my good Greek friend Kostas from Sydney. I could tell from the short rushed hello and “how you going mate” and from the tone in his voice that something was not right. He asked me if I was in Bangkok and after I said yes, he started with “could I help him and the family please”. I asked him what he wanted and he told me in a long rushed sentence without drawing a breath. “you know my cousin Arthur, you met him a few times at BBQ’s at our place, he’s the one we joke about as Stupidopoulis, well he is in Bangkok and he is talking about killing himself, he has rang a number of people to say good bye and we cannot get up there quickly so I thought I would ring you and see if you can help us, please skip, anything you can do would be great”

Kostas is a great mate, a good long time friend who I have known from my teenage years and was in the wedding party for Kostas when he took the plunge and met the seemingly endless number of cousins and relatives that Greek people seem to have. I had many great times and bbq’s and booze and meals at his own house at the parties that he and his wife threw as they started their lives together. I did meet the cousin Arthur from his wife’s side at his wedding and then on a number of other times mainly at bbq’s at Kostas’ place.

Arthur was a tall guy around 6 feet tall, well built, handsome and seemed to enjoy a good laugh especially after he had a few beers which he seemed to do often. The family had a myriad of stories I had heard about him, not many of them being complimentary about his judgement in life. He was one of those people who always seemed to have bad luck but after the stories were related you realised that the bad luck was usually of his own making or his lack of smarts. The Greek guys liked to give everybody nick names and as an Australian I was naturally a Skippy or just skip. Their name for the cousin Arthur was Stupidopoulis. This told you what they really thought about him.

I asked Kostas where Arthur was in Bangkok and why hadn’t they told me he was coming. He told me that none of them knew he was going to Bangkok as he had told the family that he was going to Singapore for 12 days and they knew he went there as his brother had taken him to the airport and helped him check in and saw him off to the immigration door and knew he was going to Singapore but he did not know he was also going to Bangkok. All they knew was that he was in a Bangkok hotel, he was saying that he was going to finish it all and that he told his brothers what to do with his possessions in life and any inheritance that may have come his way. The only thing they had was a telephone number that came up on the screen when he rang his brothers which Kostas read out to me. He said they had rung it but the person who answered did not speak English or if she did, they could not understand her.

I asked him to tell me what Arthur had been doing in the past 10 years or so since I had last seen him and he told me that he had got married against the families wishes as the woman was not Greek but a Lebanese and the parents were dead against that. After having 2 girls the marriage had broken up and she had got everything, the house, car and most of the furnishings. He said that Arthur and his parents blamed her as she was from a different culture but he had heard from others that Arthurs lack of judgement in investments, friends, the things that he said and the behaviour and way that he acted were probably the real cause behind it. I said ok; let me see what I can do and I will call you back.

I picked up the telephone and started to call the number that he had given me and got an adrenaline rush as this was my first time to play detective, now I was being a real life Dick Tracey. A woman answered with Sawadee Kha, Hotel something or another. I asked her if she spoke English and got a grunt which I took for yes so I started to ask questions. She obviously did not speak English so I got a “wait moment kha”. After a few moments another woman came on and she spoke some English so I asked for a guest Mr Arthur. I could hear her asking the other woman in Thai this question and came back and said ‘no have him here”. I said did she have any men there at hotel and I got an embarrassed type answer of “have some ka”. I then asked them to wait a minute and called my secretary in and got her to ask them in Thai did they have a Mr Arthur staying with them; he would have an Australian passport. They gave her a proper Thai answer: it was “maybe”. I got her to get the name of the hotel which was the Inn of Happiness and the address. I just hang up then. The name told me all that I needed to know.

I rang Kostas back and asked him to e mail me up a photo of Arthur and he said he would and about 1 hour later it came through and I printed it out. I e mailed back that I was going to track him down and would let them know as soon as I found him.

The hotel Inn of Happiness was way up the top of Sukhumvit some great distance up. I rang the wife and said I had to go to appointment and maybe late home and off I set, taking the BTS to On Nut and then I got a taxi and told him to go to Soi 189. The driver was chatty and obviously wanted to practise his English so asked me where I came from, what I do, did I want girl as he knew some good places for good girls, very clean etc. After he realised there was not going to be any extra earnings he kept quiet till we got into the Soi and we drove down it looking for the hotel name. As we pulled up in front of it and it was obvious what kind of hotel it was, after getting his money and small tip, he smiled at me and said, now he know why I no want his girl and laughed.

I walked up the stairs and pushed the door open; I noticed the glass in the door had a black tint in it so you could not see into the hotel. As I entered I could see a lounge set and table in the centre of a small room. It looked 1960’s style but maybe that was just the last time it had been cleaned. There was a long counter on the right hand side wall and there was a girl there behind it hunched over a desk sleeping. I knew she was sleeping and not dead because I saw a slight movement of her left shoulder. I softly said Sawadee Khup and she looked, yawned and stood up and came to the counter and looked around obviously expecting to see a girl with me. She was looking sleepy and her hair was dishevelled and I did notice that her left boob was hanging about 2 inches lower than her right one but a quick shrug of her shoulders and tug down of handful of shirt and bra and she looked level again.

I stood up straight to my full height, smiled and looked her right in the eye and I asked her to give me the room number. She looked at me with furrowed brow. “What you mean?” I said I want room number for Khun Arthur. Again she just looked and said nothing. I said in slightly raised voice, “I want you to tell me the room number for Khun Arthur”. She looked at me again with blank look and said we don’t have Khun Artur here. I just looked at her again right into her eyes with my best Dick Tracy look and said to her, “he is here, he ring from here”. I took the photo of Arthur I had printed out and showed it to her and the body language and look immediately told me that she knew him. I said to her that I wanted his room number and a key to the room to go in and see him. She just stood there and looked. I took my wallet out and put 1000 baht under the photo and as her hand went to take the photo up with the note I put my hand on top of hers and said the “key and the number” She looked at me and said”no can do key not allowed”. I moved her hand away and took my wallet out again and put another 1000 baht note under the photo. I looked at her again and said, “I must have key”. She looked at me and she shook her head and said “no, cannot”. I started to pick the photo and money up when her hand reached out and stopped me and she said, “Wait moment kha”. She went to a cupboard, pulled out and opened up a locked small tin box with a key she pulled from her pocket, searched around in there and then she came across and put a key on the bench. I put the paper and baht notes back on the bench and as I took the key, she quickly put the money and paper in her pocket. She looked at me and smiled and then put her finger vertically over her mouth in the universal sign for quiet, do not tell. I just smiled back and nodded my head. I looked at the number on the key, 207 and went across to the stairs to walk up to second floor.

I knocked at the door twice before hearing something which sounded like a go away. I used the key and opened the door and just stood there. It was dark in the room as all the blinds and curtains were closed but the thing that hit me was the smell or unpleasant odour, it was a human smell of body odour, of flatulence, of what I thought decay would smell like. The guy on the bed said “who is it”. I replied back “Arthur it is me, it is Tom, I am Kostas’s mate from Sydney we have met before at his house”. I walked across and pulled the curtains open and saw him just lying there on the bed in a foetal type position. He looked up at me and I could saw his hollow cheeks, his eyes seemed to be shrunken back in his face and I could see red circles around his eyes. It was obvious he had not shaved for a while as he was starting to grow a short modern fashion length beard and his longish hair was matted up on the sides from where he had been laying on it for a long time. He asked me what I was doing so I told him I was there to visit him and we needed the curtains open to see each other. He told me he didn’t want to see anybody and actually told me to f—k off, get out of his life. I told him I was there because Kostas asked me to go and see him and that brought him to life. He sat up and said, “how did you know I was here at this hotel”? I just looked back at him and said the first smart thing that came to my mind, “Arthur, the lord moves in mysterious ways”.

He leaned back against the head board and just looked at me. We were both silent for about 30 seconds and then I broke the silence by asking him “how are you, what have you been up to in Bangkok”. The reply sounded like a cross between a snort and a stab of pain. I guessed it was not a positive noise.

I started up in my most pleasant matey voice. “How long have you been in Bangkok, what have you been doing with yourself since you got here”? Arthur pulled himself up to sit up against the back board of the bed and pulled a sheet up over himself. I could see that he had no top on. He just sat there and stared at me and this probably went on for 20 seconds and I deliberately did not speak. He turned away and started to look out the window and then said, without looking at me, “What do you really want, did she tell you I was here”. The fact he used the word she was interesting and set my mind off wandering. I looked at him and said “no she did not send me”. Thinking quickly I said “you mean Nook do you.” He jerked his head around and said who is Nook. I said back quickly if it is not Nook, then who do you mean. He just looked at me again and said “I thought it must have been her, Sandy that she had sent you.” I thought Sandy, well this is getting interesting, that is not a common Thai woman’s name.

I looked at him and said, “Arthur you look like you need some food and a drink”. He said he didn’t want any food so I picked up the phone and heard Ms Dynamic at the front counter answer with a grunt noise and I asked her to send up 4 bottles of Heineken. We sat there in silence for about 3 minutes with Arthur just staring at me. He seemed awake enough so I guessed he was not on drugs. A knock on the door announced the maid bringing the beer bottles up. I opened two up, gave one to Arthur who still just looked at me. I took a swig and watched him. He put the bottle to his mouth and started to drink it down and I could see the vein on the side of his temple getting bigger and bluer as he drank or should I say gulp it. He was like a camel; he just kept it there until he had finished it all. He put the bottle down on the bedside table, looked at me and gave a loud belch and then looked at the other bottles. I handed him another and this time he only got about half of it down before stopping and put the bottle on the bedside table and pulled himself up straight again and continued looking at me. I took a few mouthfuls and just sat there. He looked like he was starting to pick up a bit, so I asked him if he was sure he didn’t want any food. He shook his head for no and just sat there. After about another minute he said to me, “have you been with her yourself.” I looked at him and said, “do you mean Sandy?" He nodded his head for yes and I answered back “no, I don’t know Sandy.” He seemed to look happier and then sad at this reply.

I said to him, “Arthur why don’t you tell me your story; come on it will just be between us two girls”. He looked at me and said, “are you telling me the truth that you don’t know Sandy?” (I felt like saying that I only personally knew about 40% of the 29,000 working girls in Bangkok but refrained from this.) I just shook my head and said “yes, I am telling you the truth.” This seemed to make him happy and he sat back upright, picked up his beer and finished it in one go. Definitely a camel style of drinker. I handed him the third bottle, he said thanks and started to demolish it. Now he was definitely looking better. He asked me “how did I know to find him there at this hotel.” I told him the truth this time. He smiled at that, especially when I said I was so proud to be playing Dick Tracey. I asked him “why don’t you tell me your story about being here in Bangkok” and he nodded and said “maybe”, but said he wanted to take a dump and shower first and could I get some more beers for when he came out of the bathroom. I rang downstairs and thought to myself that Ms Dynamic must be starting to like me now as the grunt she gave when answering the phone sounded more friendly this time. I just sat there and sms a text to Kostas in Sydney, saying I had found Arthur and he was ok and we were having some beers together and I would ring and give him more news later. I opened the window up thinking I might as well let in some typical Bangkok smoggy air full of car fumes, dust and humidity as it would still be fresher than what was in the room. Then I just sat there and finished my beer waiting for Arthur and the beers to arrive and thinking what am I going to hear here?

This time he sat in the chair and looked more human as his hair was wet and slicked back off his face and he was clean shaven and I was now sitting on the end of the bed. He took another beer and chugged about half of it down. He looked at me and said “I can never go back to Sydney now so I have two choices that I can do.” I just looked at him and furrowed my brow in that quizzical expression. He said “either I go and hide in some village in Greece or I finish it here in Bangkok.” Then he started sucking on the beer again but I noticed that now he was drinking it slower, like a load had been lifted from him and he could actually try to taste it and enjoy it. I said to him, “Arthur, please tell me the story of why you come to Thailand and what has happened since you got here.”

He looked at me, then looked at the window and said he knew that Kostas thought I was a straight Skippy and thought that he could trust me. He looked directly at me as he asked, “if I tell you the entire story, do you promise to keep it to yourself, that you will not tell anybody, no matter what happens to me”? I nodded and said “yes, you have my word on that”. He smiled sat back in the chair and said, “Thanks Skip, I do believe you and maybe you can help me” and then started to speak to tell his story. He seemed animated, so different than the guy who was lying in the bed in the dark when I first went in the room about 1 hour ago. He started by asking me whether I knew that he was divorced, did Kostas tell you that. I just nodded. He said that his life in Sydney was horrible, he was so unhappy. He still had the same job and he was earning good money and even after giving his ex wife big monthly alimony payments he still had enough money to enjoy himself and save some, but that he was living with his parents and had no privacy there and his mother was always trying to get him go to places with them where there were some unmarried or widowed woman, all Greek people of course and most of them were ugly and he was not interested in them, whilst his father still used the example of him marrying against his advice and what happened then to try to control him in everything he did. When he went to parties or pubs he could not find a woman who was interested in him or if they were, he was not interested in them. He looked at me and said, “You know I was like a priest for about 2 years, no woman at all.” He said that mates took him to some massage parlours and he enjoyed them and some of the best times were with Thai women so he decided to go to Bangkok and see what the city was like. He had heard some stories about the night life there and thought he would try it but he couldn’t tell his parents about it as they would not approve and he did not tell his brothers because they would have told their wife’s and one of them, her name was Risa, well her real name should have been The News of the World as she had to tell everything to everybody and she would have told his mother.

I looked at him and asked, “Arthur how old are you?” He looked at me and put his head in his hands and lowered them looking at the floor and said “I am 39 years old and still living at home with my parents and have no bloody life at all, except when I have my kids over and even then my parents want to hog all their time so they can teach them Greek ways.” He looked up at me again and said, “Bloody pathetic isn’t it.”

He stayed silent for about a minute and I could see him taking deep breaths to try to compose himself and he started to tell me the story. It started out with him telling everybody he was going to Singapore which he did but only stayed one night and there he bought a ticket to Bangkok a city he had never been to before. He had no plans so after he arrived and changed some money, he got into a cab and the guy spoke some English so he asked him if he knew a good hotel and so he ended up in the Inn of Happiness.

Some friend of a friend had told him some things about Bangkok and so about one hour after checking in at the IOH (Inn of Happiness) he went out and got a cab to go to Nana 4 to the complex which he had been told about that was the best place in Bangkok. I interrupted him there and asked him what he thought of the hotel that the taxi driver brought him to. He said it was a bit dumpy and seemed to be noisy with people coming and going at all hours but it was cheap. I asked him how much and he said “only 3600 baht per day”. I said “is that cheap” and he said “yes, back home this would cost me a lot more.”

At Nana complex he went into the bar on the corner called Big Dogs and got a beer and started watching the crowd as he had been told that this was the best place to people watch in Bangkok. After about 2 minutes she caught his eye. She was standing there at the entrance of Nana, all dressed up in short skirt, with big hair and she was beautiful and also she was tall, just the way that he liked them. She came up the stairs to him and said her name was Sandy. Arthur loved that name as it reminded him of Olivia Newton-John in the movie Grease. Sandy had a drink with him and they were talking although he could not hear her or understand her properly, he thought that this was probably because it was so noisy there. After she asked him how many times he had been in Bangkok and how long he was going to stay, she suggested they go back to his hotel and they could talk better there. She suggested they walk down to Sukhumvit and get taxi there as it would be easier. As they walked along Arthur said he felt great, with a stunning woman on his arm and he could see people looking at them and smiling and he just knew they made a handsome couple together. After they got into the cab, Sandi snuggled up to him and squeezed him down there and said I hope you are a really strong man and Arthur felt so happy.

As they lay in the bed in the dark about 2 hours later, Arthur was so happy and exhilarated with everything that had happened. He started giving me a blow by blow account of all the action but I stopped him short and told him that after he had mentioned how they came in and ordered some beers up to the room, (Ms Dynamic would love his room bill) and how they kissed and made out until the beers came, then drank some beers and Sandi undressed him and put the lights out and undressed and got into bed with him and then the mention of usage of hands, mouth, boobs, feet, toes (WTF?) different positions and anything else known to mankind, I said I could imagine the scene. He said he was happy and tired. He wanted Sandy to stay the night with him but she said she couldn’t’ as she didn’t have any other clothes with her and besides if she did not go home her mother would be worried about her. These last bits about worrying about clothes and her mother made Arthur just know he had a good girl here. She asked Arthur to help her with some taxi money and he thought she must live a long distance away as she took 2000 baht from him as he had it in his hand. The kiss and the feel up she gave him was worth it all

They made a date for the next night and agreed to go out for a meal to a Thai Restaurant so Sandy could choose the food for him. Arthur was tired from all the energy spent so he rang down for a few beers and then had a great sleep. He slept until around 11.am and then much to his surprise Sandy called him on the hotel phone and said she missed him and why didn’t she come over and they could go out and look around Chatuchak market. Arthur readily agreed although he had no idea what it was, he was ready about 30 minutes later when Sandy arrived. She looked really gorgeous and sexy in tight jeans, great top that showed her ample boobs and cleavage off. They got a taxi there and as they walked around Arthur again could see and feel people looking at them and this convinced him even more that they made a handsome couple together as Sandy was only a little bit shorter then him and so he thought that all the Thais would not be used to seeing such a tall handsome couple together. People did seem to stare at them a lot. They bought lots of clothes for Sandy including some sexy lingerie and then they went back to the hotel. Arthur wanted some action there and then but Sandy said “no you must wait till tonight” but then she laid him back on the bed and used her mouth in a way that Arthur had only ever dreamed off.

Sandy took him to a Thai restaurant where she had some friends waiting to eat and drink with them. There were 8 of them there waiting for Sandy and Arthur to arrive. The six ladies all looked great from what he could see of them but the two guys seemed effeminate to Arthur. Some of them spoke some English but he had trouble understanding them. They did not eat much but they all could drink a lot and kept clinking glasses with Arthur. He said that later he was probably drinking down about 4 glasses of god knows what to Sandy’s one and they told him how lucky he was finding Sandy as she was a good girl and never went out with men normally. Arthur felt good with the world at this time. At some later time she got him into a taxi and he fell asleep before they got to the IOH hotel. She undressed him in the room and again put all the lights off and went to the bathroom to change and then woke him up by arousing him and getting on top of him under the bedclothes. He said he could not remember what happened then as he was so drunk and went back to sleep. Sandy woke him and said she had to go home so her mother would not worry and could Arthur help with the taxi money. Next morning when Arthur awoke with the mother of all hangovers he realized that he only had a few hundred baht left in his wallet. He was sure he had started out last night with about 11,000. He just could not remember what he paid for the restaurant and could not see a bill anywhere.

This time Sandy rang him around lunchtime and said she would be there around 5.00 pm to go to the mall and the shops as they had agreed with the friends last night. She said she was so happy that they had met and she would do everything that she had promised last night and said in a husky sexy voice, that she really did miss him and would be there soon. After he put the phone down, Arthur sat there trying to remember all that had been said the night before but it was all just a drunken haze.

As he sat in the taxi with Sandy snuggled up close to him, he could see the taxi driver looking at them in the rear view mirror all the time and it started to grate on him so he asked Sandy why he kept looking. She spoke to the driver who answered her back quickly and then Sandy seemed to raise her voice at him and he stayed silent the rest of the way. When they got to the shopping mall there were three of the women there from the restaurant that he could remember. They all gave Arthur a big hug and kissed him on the cheeks and said how happy they were. Arthur started to wonder about what they meant. He wanted a coffee so they went to a Starbucks and they all got coffee (he paid) and they all sat on a big sofa with Arthur in the middle of 4 women with Sandy holding him tightly. He noticed that people were looking at them as they went past and he thought to himself, what I would give for this to be in Sydney so friends and especially his ex wife could see him sitting at a coffee place with 4 stunning women all around him. He just knew his friends would not believe him so he had one of the Starbucks staff take a photo of them all together: he would make all of his mates so jealous.

He had to go to an ATM and he said he was smart, he kept his hands over the key board as he punched his pin code in. He said that he knew enough of the world not to let anybody see this. Then they took him upstairs on the escalators to the fourth floor and they went into what seemed a large jewellery market. Sandy was holding his arm so tight and said she was so happy and she just knew he would keep all his promises and talk from the night before. Arthur thought what the hell did I promise and what did I say. All five of them walked across to the area where the diamond rings were and after Sandy spoke to the guy behind the counter, he smiled and waied to Arthur and shook his hand and said he was very happy for both of them. He asked Arthur would he prefer a white gold ring with the diamond or yellow gold. All the other girls were smiling and cooing around him and he did not know what to say. Then a tray of rings came out and the shop guy started putting them on Sandy’s fingers and after a minute she turned around to him and said she liked this one, did he agree. Arthur said he just stood there and did not know what to say. He asked her, “What did I say last night?” She replied that he said that he loved her and wanted her to come and stay with him and maybe she would go home back to Australia with him. She had told him that if she was to come and stay at the hotel with him then how could she explain this to her mother and he had suggested that we get her a ring and tell her mother that it was ok now as we would be getting married one day.

Arthur sat there on the chair just staring into space and then slowly shook his head. He reached over for another beer and I could see the start of tears welling up in his eyes. I asked him how much did you pay for the ring and he stayed silent for a few seconds and then said that it was a bloody lot of money but he paid on his credit card so he was ok with that. He sat there drinking the beer and then said “you know I really felt good after we put the ring on her and we walked out of there. We all went back to Starbucks and got more coffee and some of the girls were asking me if they could come and stay with me and Sandy in Sydney. He said it was sort of euphoric sitting there with 4 women including one who he had just put an expensive diamond ring onto her finger. He was starting to pick up from his hangover and said he wanted food so they all said they would come too and they went to a Pizza restaurant in the mall and he managed to get three beers down with lots of pizza and chicken wings and was starting to feel much better and was beginning to feel the hormones kicking in. He thought to himself, well if I have put a ring on her finger, I know what else I am going to give her tonight.

They got a taxi and they all squeezed in with Sandy on one side and two of the others squeezed up against him on the back seat and he could feel and smell the one on his left and it was a delicious thought and he was getting very turned on and excited. They dropped the 3 others off somewhere and then he and Sandy went to the IOH hotel reaching there around 9 o’clock. As they walked through the lobby to the elevators he could see the woman behind the counter staring at them and he wondered whether this was because he was so excited and maybe it was showing down there in his jeans. As they pressed the button for the lift, Sandy peeled back to the desk and spoke to the woman and then told him that she had ordered some drinks up to the room. Arthur said he really did not want to drink as he was still a bit worn from the night before and really had other areas of delights on his mind.

Sandy poured the beers and seemed to be taking her time in drinking tonight, in fact he drank 2 ½ beers to her unfinished one and then he began to feel tired and sleepy again. He pulled her over to the bed and she struggled a bit and got away from him. She waited a minute or two and then started to undress him and as he lay naked she started to do what women do to naked men in hotel rooms. He said he could remember most of it and then was sort of drifting in and out of sleep. He remembered Sandy going to the bathroom and coming out again with towel around her and then turned all the lights out and again got on top of him. Sometime later he woke up feeling groggy and could not feel Sandy there but could see a light under the bathroom door.

He said he got up from the bed and stumbled across to the room and opened the door and there she was getting dressed. As soon as she realised he was there at the door she quickly swung around to the opposite way. He stayed silent for about 20 seconds with his head looking down and then he looked up and looked right me right in the eye and asked me, “Do you know what I saw in the mirror as she swung around”?

A hundred things come to mind but I just looked back at him in silence and shook my head side to side to indicate no. He looked down at the floor again and softly said, she had a cock. There was silence again and I was not sure what to say, so I said, “you mean he had a big cock”? He looked up at me and quickly said as he was shaking his head, “no it was a small one, like a shrivelled up one, but it was a dick and it was taped up to her stomach, but it was a cock, I saw it”. He said he grabbed her from behind and turned her around and yelled at her, “you bitch, you have a cock, and you are a man”. She grabbed him around the neck and had surprising strength and with a real scary look on her face hissed at him, “no I am a woman, I am not a man”.

She pushed him out of the bathroom and onto the bed and then went back to the bathroom. Arthur must have fell asleep again as next thing she was shaking his shoulders and said you owe me money; you give me taxi money too. He said he remembered that he had put his wallet under the mattress when they first got in the room and Sandy was in the bathroom where he could hear her taking a twinkle. He tried to get up off the bed but he was slightly dizzy and she pushed him back on the bed and then smiled at him. She said to him with a leery smile, “we are getting married, all my friends heard you say it, the man in the jewellery shop heard you say it, he saw you put the ring on my fingers so now you are going to marry me and take me to Australia with you”. After he got the wallet out to give her money she snatched most of the notes away from him and pushed him back on the bed and he found it hard to get up. The last thing that Sandy said as went out the door was, if he told anyone about all this, she would go to the police and tell them that Arthur said he was going to marry her and had bought her a ring and all her friends would say the same thing and the man at the shop would also say the same thing and she would get him into big trouble with the Thai police and he would go to jail and the whole world would know.

Arthur was a mixture of animation, looking sad, looking angry, drinking fast, starting to sob and then said to me, “my life is f—-ked now”. I asked “why do you say that, we can get your ring back and the money as well. She was just lying, trying it on, she can’t and won’t do any of that. She will have been down the pawn shop already and have got the money for the ring. We can go down to Nana and pay some people I know to get some help from some locals and maybe get some of your money back”. He just looked at me and shook his head again and said, “Skip you don’t understand, I can’t do that, if I did that everybody would know”. I looked at him and said “know what, know that you got ripped off and screwed over properly in Bangkok, probably got drugged, that’s not a big deal, it has happened to many punters”. He looked back and said loudly “no it is not that, I don’t care about that part, but they will find out that I did it with a man, I did IT with a guy and was kissing a guy with French kisses and everything”. With that he came over, pushed me off the bed and lay back down in the foetal position and started rocking himself back and forward.

I walked across to the chair and just sat there watching Arthur curled up in the bed, sobbing loudly, tear’s coming from his eyes, he looked at me and said, “what would I tell my daughters, what do I tell my brothers, how can I face my mother and father again. They will all know I did it, I did it a couple of times with a man”. He then completely lost it and started a wailing type sound interspersed with sobs and tears.

After watching him there for a few minutes I said to him, “Arthur I gave you my word I would not tell anybody about this, so what are you worried about, I will not tell so no one will ever know about what happened if you do not tell them”. He laid still for about 20 seconds then sat up and stared hard at me and then said, “you just do not get it do you?” I looked back at him and said “get what”. He stared again and then said in a pained voice, “I know don’t I, I will always know”.

I just sat there thinking what in the hell can I say, what can I do here? I was thinking do I ring Kostas and tell him what has happened but decided not to do that after giving Arthur my word and would keep mum on everything he told me. The phone rang and it was little Ms Dynamic from the reception. She asked, “it everything ok, we heal roud noise, ok or no”. I said back, “yes everything is ok, just send up 6 bottles of Heineken quickly please”. She said chi kha and hung up. I looked at Arthur on the bed and thought to myself, now I am the one who needs a drink.