Readers' Submissions

What’s Love Got To Do With It?



Sometimes the truth might be amusing here as we so don't often get it and are so self deluded on occasion that such revelations can stun us. Here I am nearing the 10th year in monger towns, first Patong Beach for a couple of years and a Tsunami, and now Pattaya for 7. "If you want real love, go home and look for a 60-year old" is one of my fondest quotes from a pretty bright guy named Steve I know. He also said, "You can't own pussy." Those two nuggets have helped me save a lot of dough and pain the last few years.

In Patong, I had to have the hottest girl in the Rock Hard A Gogo and did for a few years, until sweet Oy's loss of income inspired rages of jealousy that became unbearable. In response, I fled to Pattaya where she found me a few months later. Finally we ended things and she found a wealthy guy to buy her a house and car. I really wonder where so many of these guys get their big money to just hand it over to hookers in such abundance.

The next one, A, was a school teacher in one of these small storefront Thai schools. She was around 30 and claimed to have never worked bars. Man, she was beautiful and had many material things like two houses and two cars and lots of motorbikes. I went for that deal right away and she never taught me any Thai, but many things about the game. Turns out she had a high ranking politician from Europe (who I ended up having a fantastic phone conversation with that caused her to lose her hundred thousand baht per month allowance. I saw her bank book and know that was true, and she could take more for "emergencies"). While in the hospital for knee replacement surgery, she kept pouring on the sex, and hit me up for a million baht to help her buy a condo. I told her she was richer than me and that I was not an idiot. Quickly and politely, she backed off. But, during the lengthy recovery confined to my bed most of the time she tried again and again and then started screaming and waving my big kitchen knife. I threatened to call her Euro ATM if she didn't stop screaming. She kept it up till too tired, and I called him after she left. It was a horrible ordeal and he really helped me get rid of her and then he paid her off. Very honestly I have never known such a gorgeous woman who seemed incredibly sweet and yet was a ruthless money grubber to an extent I have never witnessed. The beast hailed from Chiang Rai where I am told many such critters are born.

Finally getting through that period of time and having hallucinations while half awake through the first months of recovery and after she was gone, I started back out to the bars thinking bargirls were superior to so-called "straight ladies" a fabulous young(19) thoroughbred dancing at Club Boesche was my next venture. I it tried everything to slow it down, but it went up and down for over 3 years until she finally got impregnated by a wealthy Brit barrister and now she is secure and has what she wants and I have kept things quite a bit lighter.

What has worked for the past year and a half is to see a bar girl I know a few nights a week and both of us have our freedom, her to make some nice money and me to do what I want which is to taste others and live my days as I chose. The rule is she doesn't come without calling and I never go to her bar unless we have planned that I do. She is a pleasure, this girl, as she refuses to learn English so I am forced to develop my Thai. Her looks and body are so hot, she doesn't need to learn English to rope customers. For me it is great because she never really goes away coz they can't keep her too long since there can be no conversations. Often she will call and ask if she can sleep with me and asks for nothing. I make it a rule to always give her some money if we have sex and I will feed her breakfast every time. It is nice enough and I can enjoy the sexiest lady I have slept with and her 41-year younger body. 65-year olds don't live like I do back home, no matter how rich they are. I think I know a few things I didn't before!

You don't need to be a teacher of our culture. They aren't really interested.

Women are just like us, they can sleep with whoever they want or can.

Around here, I’d rather have respect than "love".

They are working for their families, not themselves for the first few years.

Hookers can give better sex than good girls if they want to.

Don't get into a spending contest with new guys who think they are suddenly rich upon arrival. They won't be for long.

Smile and don't let things escalate into conflict as it will cost you.

This is a great place to retire, and I wish I could have afforded it sooner than 56.

By my age, I have seen love come and go and all those promises change. I know my limitations.

Why do some guys think they are saving a girl but giving her 1/3 to 1/4 her income and forcing her to hang out with him all day? I see them every day looking miserable walking around with granddad and they look like they should be with Brad Pitt.

Life is good and I find it fun around here as Pattaya supports us foreigners well. Our task is to ease into and start going with the flow and learn how to get what we want and grow into a life with more human interactions than any of us old boys could ever expect back home. Getting fit is easier in retirement than it was while working in the western world. After a few early years of digestive distress over all these new bacteria, our immune systems get strong and by protecting our dough from the ladies who'd like to have it all, keeps us alert. Great retirement country and I imagine I will stay here. The illusion is fun enough for me and when these ladies know you understand the game, they treat you much better, believe me.

Stickman's thoughts:

If I'd read this before I moved here I would have wondered just what it is you're on, but living here you see this sort of thing every day, especially in Pattaya!