Stickman Readers' Submissions September 19th, 2011

My Ex PI Wife Story

I have written several stories on My good Thai wife and my life with her. My Thai wife continues to be just as loving and fun as when I brought her home. Our ability to communicate continues and this only opens the door to more fun conversations. She
does not understand my reading Stickman as so many of the stories are on bad Thai ladies.

But this story is about my prior Filipina wife. I felt that it was time to add a little about that relationship as I have been reading the recent stories on the Filipino and papers. It is true that divorce is almost impossible for people
in the Philippines. But if you can get them to the US there are ways around the issues.

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In my ex wife's case, she had been in the US for many years with phony documents. I had met her and we had been co-workers and friends. I was divorced at the time and was not chasing her as she had a BF in the US. The BF was found to
be using her visa status to control her and I observed physical injuries to her when she came to work. Being an ex cop, here I come as the knight in shinny armor. I offered her help if she was done with him and would move on. She was afraid of
what he would do.

It was not long before we found out what he would do. INS raided the hotel we both worked at and took away half the hotel's housekeeping staff. Being the Security Manager they told me that they were looking for my future ex wife but
that they had to check everyone who worked at the location of the complaint. Lucky for us she had already quit and moved into hiding. I joked with the INS agent as they did not seem to care if they found her, just that they completed the inspection.

I then took her to the Mexico embassy (only embassy in our area) and asked their advice on what she could do. They told us that we could get married. Now understand that we were not involved in a relationship at that point in time. But decided
what the heck I was single and she was fun to be with. So we went to California and got married. This started a many year visa process with appears of deportation and more.

Now back to the paperwork. Since she was married in Philippines and she needed a divorce to get married. We discussed $500 to have him fall off the cruise ship that he worked on. In then end the process was actually easy. We filed for a divorce
in the US and had paper sent to him in the PI. He did not respond and the US granted her a divorce that was legal all over the world except in the PI. This was fun of course as when we visited the PI, I would joke with her that I could go play
as we were not married. Years later when she received her US citizenship the US divorce even became valid in the PI.

I have to say that she was a good wife. We like a lot of the same things and she was a lot of fun. We were friends first and lovers for the fun of being lovers. Sex was for the enjoyment of sex. I completed the paperwork and brought her children
to the US. With the visa process, the kids were here in the US legally before their mom was. That was one of the items used during the appeals, if they deported the mother then the kids could legally remain with me and that was an unfair burden
on me and them. Deportation is best argued on the effects on others and not the person being deported.

Alas, all good things come to an end. The ex was not a person who wanted to be “forced” into a relationship and I think down inside she always felt that she had to keep me happy (like the abusive BF) in order to remain in the
US. With her new found US freedom she wanted to open her wings and be totally free. So we both decided to move on. We divorced but remained living together (even sharing the same bed) until I relocated back home to be near my US kids, something
she later regretted.
Years later she still calls me to see how I am doing as we have remained close friends. She sometimes inquires how I am doing with my Thai wife. She has told me that she would like to move back to Oregon and get back together.
She does not push it as she knows that I am happy with my Thai wife. She is open and funny that way. She looks for what is best for her at the time.

Filipinas are different then most Thais (my generalization). The PI wife wanted to visit the PI but never wanted to return to live there. It was all about what she and the kids could get by coming and remaining in the US. The kids express no desire to
return to live. The Thai family is the reverse. The Thai wife talks all the time about retiring to Thailand and life for us there. The kids talk about working both in the US and Thailand or returning to Thailand to live with the US education.

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Both can be good wives and I enjoyed my time married to my PI wife, but would not trade her for the Thai wife.

Stickman's thoughts:

This phony paperwork thing seems to be a common factor!

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